


Angels and Demons

by Cam719, westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-12
Updated: 2008-11-12
Packaged: 2019-05-15 04:25:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 57,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14783562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cam719/pseuds/Cam719, https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: AU story where Donna doesn't work for Josh, she works for Matt Skinner...no, she's not republican. That just wouldn't make sense.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

  
Author's notes: This is a collaboration between Cathy and I.  


* * *

“Ainsley Hayes.” I answer distractedly. 

“Ainsley, it’s Donna. How are things going?” 

“Honestly, it was a rocky few days, but things are much better today, thanks. “ I smile into the phone. I adore my cousin Donna and I’ve always been very close to her despite our different political ideologies. So the two of us had talked over the pros and cons of taking this White House job before I had come back to see Leo. Given the events of the last few days, I was beginning to question the wisdom of my accepting the White House Counsel position. Then this morning, everything had changed. I’d come into work and most of the White House senior staff had been waiting to surprise me in my office; serenading me with songs from Gilbert and Sullivan. 

I’m not a fool. I know Sam Seaborn orchestrated it. But I also know he didn’t have to do that, either. As much as his policy positions make me crazy, he is an honorable man who believes strongly that he is fighting for right. His unanticipated kindness has touched me and literally turned my experience at the White House around. Laughingly, I repeat the story for my cousin who responds just as I would’ve guessed. Indignant at some points and righteously angry at others, she finally settled on relieved when I finished with my basement concert. 

“I am so glad things have turned around, Ains. I think you’re being very patriotic.” Donna assures me. 

“We’ll see if these Democrats can see beyond party lines long enough to get anything done together.” I mutter. 

“Hey, we’re not all bad.” Donna reminds me and makes me chuckle. 

“That remains to be seen. What’s up with you?” 

“Funny that you should ask…” Donna trails off and I get a sinking feeling. 

“Are you okay?” I ask immediately. 

“Yes, I’m fine.” Donna hastens to add. “I’m just homeless at the moment.” 

“WHAT?!” 

“I left Dan.” Donna says quickly. “It was ugly and I don’t want to get into it over the phone, but I have all my worldly possessions packed in my car and I have nowhere to go.” 

“Couldn’t Lorraine and Thomas-“ I bring up Donna’s parents. 

“I’m sure they would. But Mom had her heart set on me marrying the doctor and I’m really not in the mood to listen to her ‘are you sure you can’t work this out?’ questions.” Donna hesitates. “Could I…maybe…impose on you? Just for a couple weeks. Just until I find a place of my own and get a job. I have to find someplace to start over, Ainsley. I need to get out of here.” 

“Donna, of course you can stay with me. I have a two bedroom place so there’s plenty of room. You can stay as long as you want to.” I tell my cousin. “It’s a long drive from Wisconsin, so take your time and drive safely. When are you thinking about leaving?” 

“When I said I needed to get out of here? I may have been overstating things a bit.” 

“Donna. Where are you?” 

“Georgetown.” Donna says quickly. 

“Georgetown?” I shriek into the phone. “You traveled across the country without telling anyone?” 

“I told Dan?’ Donna replies hesitantly. 

“Donna..” I growl. “Look, I’m still at the White House, but I can be done here in an hour. Can you…I don’t know…stop at a Starbuck’s or something until then?” 

“Sure. I could walk around this neighborhood for hours.” 

“An hour will suffice, I assure you. Then we’ll grab a late dinner. Get a pen so you can write down my address.” I instruct and repeat the address twice to make sure Donna got it down right. Then with renewed vigor, I dive into my work deciding quickly what has to be completed now and what I can bring home with me to work on Sunday. Even as part of me was angry at Donna for taking risks with her safety another part of me rejoices that Donna would be joining me in D.C. Life was always better with the bright and funny Donna Moss around. 

 

I have to stop myself from pacing in the Congressional office waiting area. Ainsley had pulled all kinds of strings to get me this interview and I don’t want to let her down any more than I want to go through this exercise again for a different job. I’m wearing my one decent jacket and skirt set which you’d think would bolster my confidence, but it’s so old, it actually had the opposite effect. 

“Miss Moss? Congressman Skinner will see you now.” His receptionist relays with a smile. I smile nervously back and walk determinedly into the Congressman’s private office. I’d seen Congressman Skinner on CSPAN and had been impressed with his speaking skills. When I asked why my cousin was setting me up for an interview with a Republican member of Congress, Ainsley had shrugged and replied that those were the guys she hung out with. Anyway, beggars couldn’t be choosers, so here goes nothing. 

“Donna, it’s nice to meet you. Ainsley has told me so much about you.” Skinner smiles and extends his hand while he walks around the desk. I return the greeting and sit in one of the visitor chairs before Matt sits in the visitor chair next to me. 

“Would you like something to drink?” Matt asks me. 

“Oh, no, I never drink during business hours.” I reply nervously and then realize I misunderstood his question when his lips quirk into a grin and he nods. 

“That’s a good practice in theory, but on the hill it’s sometimes a necessary evil.” He tries to cover for me and I appreciate the effort, but I really just want the earth to swallow me now. 

“I’m sure.” I agree and Matt takes a drink from his water bottle. “Ainsley tells me you’re a Republican.” 

Matt spits water everywhere. I hurriedly grab Kleenex from the box on the desk and tried to clean things up. 

“Donna..Donna, stop. I’m fine. Everything’s fine.” Matt assures me and uses a tissue to wipe his face. “I get the feeling that you are a little nervous, here, and there’s no reason for that. I promise. Ainsley told me you’d be perfect for a research position I have open on staff and I trust her. I just wanted to meet you and give us each a chance to know one another before you start on Monday, okay?” 

“Really?” I confirm and Matt nods again. I let out a huge sigh of relief. “That’s wonderful! I won’t let you down, Congressman, I promise.” 

“I don’t imagine you will. Tell me about yourself. Ainsley told me you grew up in Wisconsin?” 

“Yes, I’ve lived there my whole life…until a few days ago.” I grin. “I’ve always wanted to come to Washington, though.” 

“So you’ve been planning this move for awhile?” Matt asks. 

“When I said I always wanted to come to Washington? I may have been overstating it a bit. I mean, I’m very interested in politics, and majored in political science but I just recently got the…opportunity to move out here and stay with Ainsley.” 

“Ah…when did your boyfriend break up with you?” Matt asks with eyebrows quirked. 

“Wha- What makes you think my boyfriend broke up with me?” 

“Too raw, still? I understand. Men are such pigs.” Matt rolls his eyes. “Where did you graduate from?” 

“I’m sorry?” That was a conversation jump. 

“You said you majored in political science. Where did you graduate from?” Matt asks slowly like he is speaking to someone who is mentally impaired. Great, this interview was going just great. 

“Ah, I didn’t graduate actually. But now that I’m here, I’d love the chance to go back and finish.” I note. 

“We’ve got a lot of great schools here.” Matt replies. “We’ll have some late nights in this office, but if you’re taking classes on certain nights, we can work around that. How many classes do you have left?” 

“I’m a few credits short.” I say nonchalantly. 

“But you majored in political science?” 

“Yes!” I agree readily. “And uh, sociology and psychology.” 

“I see.” Matt nods again. 

“And biology for a while…with a minor in French?” 

“Really.” Matt continues to nod and I think he’s wondering just what the hell Ainsley had gotten him into. 

“And..uh…drama…” I run out of steam. 

“You had five majors and two minors in 4 years?” Matt confirms. 

“Two! It was…two…years…” I can feel my eyes start to fill with unshed tears. “I had to drop out. I had to! It was important that he finish medical school and then he was going to support me while I finished. We had a plan!” I insist even as the first tears drop from my eyes. “But then he cheated on me and I’m sorry, but you do not cheat on me and then get a free pass back into my life so I packed up everything I owned and stuck it in my car and drove to D.C. Ainsley was a little pissed I didn’t tell her I was coming first, but I just couldn’t stay there another minute.” 

“That must have taken a lot of courage Donna.” Matt acknowledges and hands me a tissue. 

“I just had to start over. I think this is a place I can start over. I want to do something that makes a difference in people’s lives. I’m smart, and a very hard worker and you won’t regret giving me this chance, Congressman.” I lay out my case. 

“You just packed everything in your car and drove here alone?” Matt smiles. 

I nod, afraid that if I open my mouth again it would ruin whatever slim chance I still had of getting this job. 

“Well you’re in luck, Donnatella Moss because my litmus test for hiring research assistants is that they’re smart, hard workers, and want to make a difference in people’s lives.” Matt tells me and I can feel my face bloom into a relieved smile. 

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” I say sincerely. Matt gets up from his chair and walks around his desk to open a drawer. He pulls out an ID badge and hands it to me. “You’ll need this when you report for work at 7:30 Monday morning.” 

I take the badge from his hand with a look of adoration on my face and I’m about to leave when he stops me and hands me some cash. 

“We do business casual around here so you can ditch the suit from the last decade. We’ll call this an advance on your salary. Make Ainsley take you clothes shopping this weekend.” Matt smiles to take the sting out of his words. 

“Yes, sir.” I agree and practically bounce out of the building. A new job that has a clothing allowance; it just doesn’t get any better than this! 

 

“I’m sorry, you told Congressman Skinner he was wrong?” Ainsley chokes on her Fresca in the White House mess. 

“Respectfully.” I add. “And I had research to support it too, so there.” 

“Did you just ‘so there’ me?” Ainsley teases. 

“I don’t know what it is, but whenever I’m in a room with you, I’m catapulted back to 3rd grade.” I shrug. 

“So what did Matt say when you told him, respectfully, that he was wrong?” 

“Well…he blinked for a few seconds, and then said, ‘prove it’.” 

“And?” 

“And I did.” I shrug again making my cousin laugh. 

“So you’re liking the job still?” Ainsley teases. 

“I’m loving my job. Even though the Congressman won’t let me use more than 40 note cards on any one issue.” I make a face. 

“That is positively tragic.” Ainsley agrees, but I think I detect a note of sarcasm. 

“Ainsley, have you got a second?” A male voice asks from across the mess. 

“Yes, would you like to come over here and speak to me like a civilized person?” Ainsley calls back. The man’s face looks puzzled and then splits into a smile so big that dimples pop out on both his cheeks. He’s handsome, I admit, but not in the classical sense. There was just something about him…and he looks familiar too. He drops his lunch tray unceremoniously next to me and sits down. 

“I have a question about the test ban treaty language.” The man begins. 

“Why, I’m just fine today Joshua, thank you. No, you don’t know my lunch companion but I’d be happy to introduce you.” Ainsley ignores his statement. “Joshua Lyman, may I introduce my cousin Donna Moss. Donna Moss, this is Josh Lyman who serves as the Deputy Chief of Staff and mannerless cretin in the Bartlet White House.” 

Josh has the grace to look chagrined. “Sorry, I get focused on one thing and…” Josh reaches out to shake my hand quickly and offers me another smile. “Anyway, the treaty...” 

“What about it?” Ainsley asks. 

“These damn Republicans want to insert language that-“ 

“Ahemmmmmm…” Ainsley glares at him. 

“These damn Republican members of Congress?” Josh tries. Ainsley must recognize it for the olive branch that it’s meant to be and accepts his change in language with a nod. “They want to insert language in to the treaty.” 

“And?” Ainsley prods. 

“It looks like it might be okay.” Josh states. 

“So…good?” Ainsley guesses. She’s told me that since the Gilbert and Sullivan performance in her office they’d made a sort of truce between them but she still couldn’t read Josh Lyman very well. 

“No. Not good. There must be a Republican type trap in there that I’m not seeing. So I’d like to have you look at it.” 

“Because I speak Republican.” 

“Well…yes.” Josh shrugs and it makes me laugh. It’s so adorable. 

“Send me a copy and I’ll take a look. Sam’s taking me to the hill for some meetings on attaching reservations so it’ll have to wait until we get back.” Ainsley tells him. 

“Okay.” Josh waves that concern away. “I’m going to be here well into the night anyway.” 

“Then you should really get a decent lunch instead of eating all that crap.” I note. 

“Sorry?” Josh looks at me like I’ve grown a second head. But somewhere during his exchange with Ainsley, I realized why he looked familiar. He’d been all over the news a few months ago when he had been shot and almost killed at Rosslyn. Dan had explained the medi-speak on the news at the time and Josh Lyman’s injuries were severe. He was lucky to be alive. If he was going to be at work for all hours, he should at least give his body decent fuel. So I tell him so. 

“Your body needs decent fuel to run for those kinds of hours and I’m sorry but chips, pop, and dear God, is that a hamburger?” I peer closely at the piece of charred meat. “That’s not going to cut it.” 

“Are you a doctor?” Josh asks. 

“No, I just lived with one once.” I smile. “Doctors are pigs.” 

Ainsley nearly lost her drink again. She really shouldn’t drink liquids while we’re talking. 

“Better not let Dr. Bartlet hear you say that.” Josh teases and I can feel myself blush. Damn alabaster skin. 

“I meant male doctors.” I correct myself. 

“No, I agreed with you the first time. God knows I’ve had my fill of them.” Josh notes. 

“On the other hand, without them, you wouldn’t be sitting here bitching about Republicans, so…” I tilt my head to see his reaction to that. 

“But if you Republicans weren’t doing your best to destroy freedom and Democracy everywhere by using sneaky amendments, I wouldn’t need to stay late nights.” Josh counters. “So really, you should be buying me the decent lunch.” 

I smile at his twisted logic, but don’t bother to correct his mistaken impression that I belong to the same political party as my cousin. 

“Here, on behalf of sneaky Republicans everywhere.” I transfer my untouched sandwich onto his plate. Josh blinks in surprise. “Now, eat up so you’ll live to fight another day.” 

Without another word he lifts the sandwich to his mouth and takes a bite while I get up and purchase a bottle of water that I hand to him as well. Ainsley watches the interaction with astonishment on her face. 

“Ummm…Josh? Why is Sam asking me to write a two page summary on his position paper for the President?” Ainsley asks him. 

“Sam can’t unleash his full potential in two pages.” Josh quotes his friend and gets strange looks from both of us. “Because the flippin Washington Post wrote an editorial that the President’s time wasn’t being utilized wisely. Now we all have to reduce our thoughts to two pages and run it by Leo before we can run it by the President. ” 

“Why is that a bad thing?” I ask. 

“Because I should get to see the President when I have something to show the President. Things happen very quickly around here and I can’t waste time writing up two page summaries all day long.” Josh says around another bite of sandwich. 

“So you can’t unleash your full potential in two pages either?” I hazard a guess. 

“You’ve got a mouth full of wise ass, don’t you?” Josh grins. “A relative of Ainsley’s with a smart mouth. Who’d have ever guessed?” Josh says sarcastically and includes Ainsley in his grin. “Look, I have 10 balls that I’m trying to keep in the air at any one time to keep the President’s agenda moving forward. I can’t be bothered with all this Washington Post crap.” 

“Actually, it sounds like you can’t be bothered to be organized in your work.” I mention and his jaw drops open. I get the feeling that not many people call this guy on his crap. 

“Excuse me? I graduated from Harvard and Yale. You don’t get IN to those schools without out having your act together.” 

“No, you don’t get into those schools unless you’re very bright or very rich. Which are you?” I ask. 

“He’s both.” Ainsley says matter of factly and now it’s Josh’s turn to nearly spit out his drink. “I wish it were just the latter, but unfortunately for me he’s very smart.” 

“Well then…” I smile. “He’d be SMART to figure out an organizational system that will help him keep all those balls in the air.” 

“And you could do better?” Josh asks. 

“Any day of the week and twice on Sunday.” I say batting my eyes. “I’m an organizational guru. In fact, right now-“ 

Josh’s pager went off and he looked down. “Damn. Another vote off the reservation.” 

I wrap up the rest of the sandwich and hand it to him. “For the road…and I’ll just take these off your hands.” I say as I remove the bag of chips from Josh’s tray and his eyes bug out. “Lots of us prayed for your safe recovery. It would be a shame to lose you now.” 

Josh nearly bobbles the tray in his surprise at my remark. He clearly doesn’t know how to respond. 

“It was nice meeting you.” I offer. 

“Yeah, you too…Ainsley, I’ll catch you later?” Josh raises his eyebrows. 

“Sure.” 

Josh backs away from the table slowly, but I can’t help but smile when I notice that he left the giant pop and took the bottle of water with him. Baby steps… 

TBC


	2. Angels and Demons

“Sir.” 

“Matt.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Donna, the President of the United States is Sir.” 

“Of course.” she smiles. This girl’s got a great smile. “Can I ask you a question, sir?” 

“Matt.” 

“Of course, Congressman.” she placates me again. Shit. Someone tell me why I put up with this from a democrat? Oh yeah, this was Ainsley Hayes’ doing. Something about smart people who disagree with me. 

“Fire away.” I sigh. 

“What do you know about Josh Lyman?” 

Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting that. Since Donnas started working for me, I’ve had to adjust to expecting the unexpected from her. She’s flambayed me more than once on my legislative portfolio. I like arguing with her though. She’s got an interesting outlook on stuff. 

I turn around in my chair, pluck a picture off the credenza, turn back and put it on the desk in front of her. 

“This is you and Mr. Lyman.” she notes picking it up. 

“Josh.” I reply. “Call him Mr. Lyman and his head will unspool.” 

“College graduation?” 

“Yeah, Harvard.” I nod. 

“You two knew each other in college?” 

“We grew up together.” 

“Who are these other two?” 

“One of them is Chris Wick, another Congressman from Massachusetts and the other, the guy on the left is Mike Casper, a special agent with the FBI.” 

“You all went to Harvard?” 

“Josh and I met Chris and Mike there. We’re still friends.” 

“You and Josh are friends after all these years? You seem so different.” she looks amazed and I laugh. 

“Different? We’re polar opposites, Donna.” I chuckle. “But we’ve known each other since first grade. We’re closer than brothers and we’ve come to terms with our disagreements a long time ago. I mean, he and I are never really going to agree on anything. Except baseball. We’re both Mets fans.” 

“Wow, that’s really great.” she smiles genuinely and hands the picture back to me. 

“Why do you ask about Josh?” 

“Oh, I just met him at the White House.” 

“What were you doing at the White House?” 

Tell me she’s a double agent and I will first kill Ainsley and then probably Josh. 

“I was having lunch with Ainsley.” she says. “I wanted to thank her for, you know, pointing me in your direction.” 

“Even though I’m a republican.” I smirk. 

“Yeah, but I’m not a resident of your district so there’s never the issue of whether or not I would vote for you.” she shoots back. She certainly gives as good as she gets. 

“And so what did you think of Josh?” I ask cautiously. Josh doesn’t always come across all that nice. And Josh and girls... well, he’s sort of an idiot in that department. 

“Well...” she says slowly. “I didn’t really talk to him long. He was really just talking to Ainsley about something, but he just seemed... I don’t know.” 

I smile as I realize that something happened here. Josh obviously made an impression on Donna and it wasn’t a bad one. 

“Seemed what?” I hedge. She shifts a little bit and shrugs. “I didn’t mean to drag you into it, sir. I didn’t realize you knew him so well.” 

“Oh come on, Donna. Stop being so stuffy.” I whine a bit here. She arches her eyebrows in surprise. “That’s not you, I can tell. I’m informal with my staff. Save the protocol for the White House and official stuff. Tell me what you thought.” 

“Why? So you can tell Josh?” 

“Josh isn’t like that.” 

“But are YOU like that?” 

“Sometimes. I’m gay. It’s in my nature.” 

“You’re gay?!” 

“Does that bug you?” 

“I’m a democrat.” she replies immediately. “I just couldn’t tell.” 

“You couldn’t tell?” I ask surprise. “Huh. I would have thought Ainsley told you. It’s common knowledge.” 

“Well, we’re not talking about you, we’re talking about me.” she replies. Guess who’s loosening up a bit here. 

“Yes. We’re talking about you and Josh.” 

“Right.” 

“Ah ha!” I exclaim triumphantly. I KNEW something happened here when they met. Josh doesn’t flummox women. He frequently flummoxes opponents he’s arguing with, but women in general, he is He Who Does Not Flummox. 

“No! No! There’s no me and Josh. We’re just talking about Josh.” 

“He’s not seeing anyone.” I know. I’m sure this is what she wants to eventually get at. 

“Um...what?” 

“Josh. He isn’t dating anyone. He’s just now getting his life back together.” 

“Back together? Bad break up?” 

“Uh, bad day at the office more like.” I say. “He got shot back in August.” 

“Yeah, that kind of came up. He seems to be doing good. He eats terribly.” she says. 

“He’s doing great.” I nod. She looks a little uncomfortable now, so I try to bring the subject back around to what we were originally taking about. “So, you said he seemed, but then broke off. How did he seem to you?” I’m also wondering because lately he seems to have thrown himself into work more than he had before the shooting. I don’t know if that’s because he just got back to work or what. 

I’ve only known Donna for a very short period of time, but given what I can see now from the way she’s relaxing around me and getting snarky, I think they might be kinda good together. 

“He seems very passionate.” she says and then blushes a little. 

“He is.” I say simply. “He’s very good at his job. Some guys here call him the Prince of Darkness.” Her eyes widen a bit. Oops. That may have been too far. 

“That’s a good thing?” she asks quietly. 

“Um...well... yeah, it’s kind of a good thing. People are too scared of him to give him a lot of shit on stuff. He wins a lot.” 

“What are they afraid he’s going to do?” she asks cautiously. 

“Mount a huge challenge and win in their next election. He got Chris Wick his seat and barely broke a sweat.” 

“What about you?” she smirks. 

“Well, he was much more behind the scenes for me, but I got a lot of invaluable advice from him, though he’d never ruin his reputation and admit it publicly.” 

“Prince of Darkness?” she asks a little apprehensively. 

“I don’t know what to tell you, Donna.” I finally shrug. “Politics isn’t always pretty. But Josh is like a brother to me, and I don’t know anyone on this planet more loyal to him.” 

She looks over at the picture back on my credenza again and nods. “Well, I was just wondering what he was like is all. Thanks...Matt.” 

She smiles that great smile of hers and then leaves the room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I breeze into Matt’s outer office and Sherry his receptionist smiles widely at me. Sherry’s been trying to get me into bed for a while. I haven’t been interested, not that she’s not nice or anything, but I’m not really that kind of player. Plus, Matt would kick my ass if I started sleeping with his staff. 

“Hey, is he in there?” I ask moving by her and gesturing to the door. 

“Yeah, he’s just ...” she starts, but the door springs open and there she is. 

Donna. 

She looks a little surprised to see me here. My heart skips a beat and I freeze in my spot. She looks prettier than she did this afternoon. How is that possible? How could she have gotten prettier in just three hours and 46 minutes...47 minutes? 

“Hi.” she smiles almost shyly. God that’s sweet. 

“Hi.” I say. “It’s you again.” 

“It’s me again.” she smiles. 

“Uh, I was just coming...” I start and gesture towards Matt’s office. 

“Oh, yeah, he’s just...” she replies and gestures over her shoulder. 

“Okay.” I nod. What the hell is wrong with me? Neither one of us moves. I don’t want to move. I want to stay here and look at her. What am I going to do? She’s gorgeous. And republican. She’s a gorgeous republican. This is, like, my worst professional nightmare, the day the republican party sends a really hot girl to me to throw me off my game. But she doesn’t seem like the fembot type. 

“You work here?” I blurt out, very ungentlemanly. 

“I’m the Congressman’s new research assistant.” 

Oohh! This changes everything. 

“Josh?” Matt calls from his office and appears behind Donna. 

“Yeah?” I ask, but I’m still watching Donna, who’s blushing a bit and looking away. 

“I guess I’ll just...” she trails off and moves to her desk and I can’t help but watch the graceful way she moves. 

“Josh?” Matt asks. 

“Huh?” 

“What?” 

“What?” 

“What the hell do you need?” 

I shake myself out of my Donna trance and look over to Matt. 

Who’s smirking like the Cheshire Cat, the bastard. “Oh, I needed to talk to you about, you know...” 

“No, I don’t.” 

You know, sometimes I really freaking hate him. 

“You know, the thing.” I say and give him a glare. 

“Oh, the thing!” he says. “Right. I’ve been meaning to talk to about that thing. Come on in. Sherry, hold my calls.” 

“Yes, sir.” she says. Uh oh. She must be pissed at him. No one here ever calls him sir. Well, that’s Matt’s problem. 

I close the door behind me and Matt drops down into his chair. “How could you not tell me she worked here?” I demand. 

“Who?” 

“Donna!” 

“I didn’t know you knew her.” 

“I didn’t. But how could you not tell me you hired someone who looks like her!” 

“Because I’m gay and don’t see women like that.” he replies slowly. 

“Don’t fuck around with me.” I snap. He looks a little surprised by that. 

“Why are you so edgy?” he asks. 

“I’m not edgy.” I say quickly. Why do people keep asking me that? “I’m just a little thrown off my game by the Venus de Milo you have working out there.”   
He smiles slowly at me and I don’t care that I just over played my hand here. 

“She was just in here asking about you.” he smiles widely. 

“Really?” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“What’d she want to know?” 

“Well, she didn’t know we knew each other, but she wanted to know what I knew about you and what you were like.” 

“Did she sound like she was really interested or like she was doing recon work or something?” 

“She’s not a spy!” he laughs. “I hired her as a favor to Ainsley. Donna needed a job, she likes politics, and I needed a new researcher. She’s real smart, too.” 

“She’s got...nice hair.” 

“She’s cute as hell, too.” Matt smiles. 

“Yeah. And she’s got a nice smile.” I say. “I don’t know. Something’s going on.” 

“Dude, you haven’t dated anyone since the She-Devil.” he says and I roll my eyes. Matt was never fond of Mandy. Neither were Chris and Mike, truth be told. “It’s been three years. Don’t you think you should, I don’t know, get back in the saddle?” 

“It’s not like I’ve got a hell of a lot free time on my hands.” I argue. “I’ve been back at work for, like, two weeks and it’s a nightmare. Midterms were like a blood bath.” 

“The House stayed the same.” 

“Yeah, but it was still a mess. Anyway, I don’t have a lot of time to da...really, she asked about me?” 

I sound like an idiot. 

“Swear to God, man, she was just in here asking about you.” he laughs. “Ask her out.” 

“Well, what did you tell her about me?” 

“I told her the truth.” he shrugs. 

“Oh my God!” I groan, smack my palm to my forehead and drop down onto the couch. 

“Don’t be so fucking dramatic.” Matt says. “I told her you were great at your job, I told her I’ve known you all my life and I told her there’s not a disloyal bone in your body.” 

“Well, that’s not so bad.” I say picking my head up. 

“The Prince of Darkness thing slipped out though.” he winces. 

“Shit!” 

“Well, in theory, Josh, she would have found out about that eventually. Sooner or later, she’d discover the not so nice political side of you. She works HERE, for crying out loud.” 

“She just seems...she seems nice, you know? It’s been ages since I’ve gone out with somebody nice.” 

“She’s as nice as the day is long, my friend.” Matt says. “But she’s snarky.” 

“Really?” 

“Oh hell yeah.” he says. “She just started coming out of her shell, but I’m discovering, she’s pretty witty.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, she’s feisty.” 

“Okay. We’re starting to talk about her now like she’s a horse.” I say. “Women don’t like that.” 

“Neither do men.” 

“We’re not talking about you.” I shoot back. I look up at him and he’s giving me that freaking look again. The three of them have been looking at me funny for weeks. It’s like they’re waiting for something, but I have no idea what. “I don’t know. Now might not be the best time to date.” I say, gesturing to my chest which currently looks like a patchwork quilt. The scars are in no way completely healed and they’re very angry looking. I don’t know if I’m ready for anyone to see it. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” 

“I was sliced open a few months ago. It ain’t pretty.” 

“Josh, the right girl isn’t going to give a shit about that.” 

“True, but the wrong one is going to flinch and scream and I’m not ready for that.” 

“You’re not Frankenstein; you got shot and had surgery. You’re a freaking national hero and your fan club is still off the charts. None of those little girls would care about that.” 

“Now I feel dirty.” 

“And we’re talking about taking Donna to dinner. She’s nice. She’s from Wisconsin. She’s not going to jump into bed with you on the first date anyway. Do the drinks after work thing. That way if you freak out you don’t have to do dinner.” 

“After work for me is like midnight.” I say. 

“Yeah, about that. That’s too late. You’re going to have to leave early for drinks with Donna, like 6 or something. I realize that’s, like, a half day for you, but you had by-pass surgery a few months ago, slow the hell down, for crying out loud.” 

I’m actually starting to consider this, which is now scaring the hell out of me. 

“She changed my food.” 

“What?” 

“I had a burger and soda and chips, and she replaced it with salad, a sandwich and water. She never even met me before, but she said I ate like crap and just changed my lunch.” 

“You do eat like crap. I’ve told you that.” 

“What do you make of that?” 

He shrugs. “Ask her out, order a bloody steak and see if she does it again.” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Josh.” he says in the voice that told me to apply to Harvard even though I didn’t think I was going to get in. “You were given a second chance. Use it.” 

TBC


	3. Angels and Demons

Okay, this is ridiculous. I’m hanging out just outside my boss’s office in the hopes that I might ‘accidentally’ run into Josh Lyman again. Sherry knows it too. She keeps looking over at me and smirking…in a bad way, not a Josh Lyman way. Wait. There’s a Josh Lyman way? I am SO pathetic. 

“He won’t be out for awhile.” Sherry tells me. Act innocent. 

“Who?” I put on my innocent face. Remember, I minored in drama…for a semester. 

“Josh. He and Matt go way back and whenever Josh comes around they hole up in there for awhile.” Sherry thinks she’s so… 

“Oh, is that his name? Josh? I’m waiting for the Congressman. I have a question for him.” I explain. See Sherry? All perfectly innocent and legitimate. I’m waiting for Congressman Skinner; who everyone knows, but Ainsley never told me, is gay. So therefore, if I’m waiting for the Congressman, my waiting couldn’t possibly have anything to do with my unusual physical reaction to Joshua Lyman. 

“Weren’t you just with him?” Sherry asks. 

“No, I never met him before.” I answer quickly. 

“You’ve never met the Congressman before?” Sherry chuckles. 

“The Congressman?” Poor Sherry is so confused. 

“That IS who you’re waiting for, right?” She asks again. I really don’t like this woman much. “Weren’t you just in his office with him?” 

“You know, I was.” I admit. “Yes, indeed I was. But I forgot to tell him something and that might alter the direction of the research he wants me to do. So I’m waiting for him…to get clarification.” 

“Right, because you wouldn’t want to be a missing a notecard.” She snarks. Yeah, I don’t like her at all. 

“The notecards are an effective tool for researching issues.” I defend my method with gusto. 

“I’m sure they’re very helpful.” She doesn’t mean this though, I can tell. “It’s a good thing you’re just waiting for the Congressman, then. Josh Lyman is nothing but trouble.” 

“Why- I mean just out of curiosity, why would you say that? He seems perfectly nice, you know, from the brief interaction I had with him.” Just idle curiosity Sherry, no big deal. Just passing the time here waiting for the Congressman. 

“You’d have no way of knowing this Donna, coming from Wisconsin, but some of the guys in this town are serious players; power daters. Josh Lyman is one of those guys.” 

Well, that doesn’t sound good at all. Congressman Skinner vouched for him, but he IS gay. Would he really have a good foundation on which to base his opinion of Josh’s dating life? 

“Hmmm…well I’ll keep that in mind…On the slim chance that we were to ever cross paths again.” I nod in agreement but can’t seem to move my feet away from the Congressman’s door. Awkward… 

Suddenly the door opens and Josh Lyman nearly runs into me. Wow. That whole butterfly feeling is back. I guess it wasn’t a coincidence. 

“God, I’m sorry. I almost ran you over.” Josh apologizes. That’s really very sweet. Not what one would expect from a power dater. I have the least power of anyone in this building. 

“Donna’s just waiting for the Congressman. You can go ahead in, Donna.” Sherry tells me like I can’t see for myself that the Congressman is finished speaking with Josh. 

“Thanks.” I saw sweetly, but my eyes stay on Josh. “Bye.” 

“Oh, hey! I wanted to say thanks for the sandwich.” Josh tells me quickly. “It wasn’t quite as good as a hamburger, but it wasn’t bad.” 

“Good. I’m glad you liked it. You might want to explore other healthy options at lunch now.” I suggest. 

Josh leans against the doorjamb, making no move to get out of my way. “Yeah, but the thing is, I wouldn’t know a healthy option if it walked up and introduced itself to me. I’m really lost in the healthy food choice category.” 

“That is a problem.” I agree and I can feel my lips turning up into a smile. Is he hinting at asking me out here? I think he may be doing just that. 

“It’s terrible.” Josh shakes his head. “Like tomorrow, I’m going to have another long day and I’ll probably forget to eat lunch altogether until I get shaky from hunger. Then I’ll run down to the mess to get something quick and the myriad choices there will overwhelm me and I’ll end up grabbing some chips or a piece of cake just to get through it.” 

“That’s just the kind of thing you want to avoid.” I’m smirking now, but I really can’t help it. “Maybe I should write down some healthy food suggestions for you so when you’re in that situation you’ll have some ideas about what to choose.” 

He pretends to mull this idea over for a good ten seconds. “What if the items you suggest aren’t being served in the mess that day? No, I don’t think that’s going to work.” He shakes his head sadly again. “If only I had someone with me in the mess to help me make those last minute choices.” 

“That might be a good solution, but I see a problem with that as well.” I mention. 

“What’s that?” he asks. 

“I don’t know what self respecting, health food assistant you’re going to get to go with you to the White House mess. The selection there is very bad.” 

“Ah…so maybe if I want to convince someone to come with me to eat and help me make better food choices, I’ll have to consider a different venue?” Josh asks. 

“Without a doubt.” I reply. 

“Of for God’s sake, just ask her to dinner so we can all get back to our day jobs before it’s evening!” Matt shouts from his desk. Josh and I share a smile. Sherry just sighs loudly. 

“I don’t want to get you in trouble with your boss. He’s quite an ogre. I should go.” Josh says and jerks his thumb toward the exit. I nod in agreement. 

“Dinner tomorrow…around 8?” Matt coughs loudly. “I mean, 6?” Josh amends his question. 

“I’m not sure. You know that I have no power in this office, right?” I ask and Josh looks confused. Oh, Joshua, that one wasn’t for you, it was for Sherry. 

“Nobody in this office has any power, Donna.” Josh jokes. “You’re all Republicans.” 

“I heard that Lyman.” Matt calls out again. “I can keep Donna working until very late tomorrow night, you know.” 

“Just kidding there, Matt.” Josh shouts over my shoulder. “I’ll pick you up here at 6?” 

“Okay.” I agree and I can’t wipe the ridiculous smile off my face. “See you tomorrow.” I wait until the door closes behind him before I head back to my desk. 

“I thought you needed the Congressman?” Sherry calls to me. 

“I don’t know where you got THAT idea.” I call back. Drama class. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Is O’Brien seriously going to take this amendment to the floor?” Sam asks me. 

“Huh?” I heard the question, I just didn’t hear the question you know? I’ve been having trouble with concentration since I’ve been back to work. It really sucks. 

“You okay?” Sam comes in and sits in front of my desk. I wish he wouldn’t sit in front of my desk. I have things to get done before I pick up Donna for dinner. And can I just say, I have NO IDEA what I’m doing asking this Republican staff member of Matt’s out for dinner. I have a million things to do, and a million reasons why now might not be a good time to start a new relationship…There’s just something about this woman… 

“Josh?” Sam calls my name again and I look up to see this worried expression on his face. I HATE that expression and I’ve seen it all to often around here lately. Maybe that’s pat of the attraction to Donna Moss. She doesn’t look at me with eyes filled with pity or worry. 

“Sam, can we not do this right now? I’m in the middle of something and I-“ 

“Sure. I didn’t know you were under the gun. Anything I can help with?” 

“No, but thanks. I just have to finish this report now so I’m not late for dinner.” I tell him and he laughs. LAUGHS! 

“Dinner? It’s like, 5:15! You don’t eat dinner until around 8 or 9.” He points out. 

“True. But the woman I’m having dinner with likes to eat when normal people do, so we’re having dinner at 6.” I explain. 

“I’m sorry. Did you just say you’re going out to dinner? With a woman? At 6 O’clock?” Sam confirms. 

“Why is that so astonishing to you?” I ask. “I am a sought after bachelor, a highly placed member of the Federal Government.” 

“So…she’s new in town?” Sam chuckles. 

“Direct from Wisconsin.” I admit which only makes him chuckle harder. Just when I think it can’t possibly get worse; it does. 

“I’m here saving the country, and you’re in here hosting a comedy festival.” F.B.I Agent Mike Casper, ladies and gentlemen. He’s here briefing the President almost every day, lucky me. 

“But it’s very good comedy.” Sam allowed. “Josh has a date…at 6:00 …with a woman from Wisconsin.” 

“I thought there was a rule against smoking crack in the White House, Sam?” Mike quips. 

“God’s truth.” Sam raises his right hand to attest to his honesty and Mike gives me a strange look. 

“What are you doing going out to dinner with some woman from Wisconsin?” Great. Now it’s Mike’s turn to interrogate me. 

“Nothing illegal, Agent Casper, I assure you.” I reply and try to read the second paragraph of this page for the third time. 

“You shouldn’t be going out to dinner.” Mike says unequivocally. I look up at him in surprise. 

“You’re against me eating in general or dinner in particular?” 

“I’m not against either, just not either with some woman from Wisconsin you don’t even know.” 

“I was under the impression that sharing a meal was a culturally acceptable way to get to know a woman.” I can’t help the smirk I’m wearing now. “She even offered to help me make healthier food choices. Something you’ve be on my ass about for months now.” 

“Oh, it’s a professional thing.” Mike relaxes. “She your dietician or something?” 

I look incredulously between Sam and Mike who both seem to think this is the only rational explanation for a woman to go out to dinner with me. 

“No. She’s not my dietician; as if I’d have one of those. This is a bona fide dinner date and if you don’t believe me, ask Matt. He was a witness to the invitation and the acceptance. Now since it doesn’t appear that I’m going to get anything else done before I’m to pick the lady up, I’m leaving now.” I grab the jacket off the back of my chair and make an exit while my friends both stare at me. Sheesh! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Who’s this cheesehead you set Josh up with?” I demand. 

“Hey, Mike, it’s good to see you too. No, I’m not too busy for a quick conversation, what’s up?” He thinks he’s so damn clever just because he’s so damn clever. 

“Whatever. Do you really think now is the time to set Josh up with some milkmaid from Wisconsin?” 

“First of all, Donna Moss isn’t any milkmaid and that’s a very sexist remark. Secondly, I didn’t set up anyone with anyone. They met and arranged this little dinner all by themselves, Dad. Thirdly, what the hell is your problem with Josh going out to dinner with a smart, attractive woman?” 

“She’s attractive?” God, this is worse than I thought, and Matt is over here mocking me. 

“Well, I think so and I assume Josh thinks so, or he wouldn’t have bothered asking her to dinner.” Matt points out reasonably. 

“This is a very bad idea.” I tell him and flop down in a chair opposite him. “Josh isn’t back on his game yet.” 

“Josh has a game?” Matt laughs again and props his feet on his desk. Fine, Josh hasn’t been known for his…expertise with the fairer sex, but he does manage to get women to go out with him…from time to time. And he’s got the fan club too. 

“I’m saying…he hasn’t been himself since he got back to work.” I explain. 

“Well in this case, that might be to his advantage.” Matt jokes. 

“Damn it, Matt, I’m serious.” I explode and Matt drops his feet off his desk and sits up. 

“What’s going on Mike?” He says quietly. 

“I’m not sure, but something is off.” I tell him earnestly. “Haven’t you noticed something different about him lately?” 

“I guess…a bit..but Jesus, Mike, the guy was nearly killed. It’s been a long, hard recovery and he spent the several weeks living with his mother. If that doesn’t put you a little on edge…” 

“Then you’ve noticed it too.” I jump on his last phrase. “The quick temper, the snapping at people around him?” 

“Okay, yeah, a little. But again, he’s been through hell and just trying to catch up at work has got to be daunting. You know he hates feeling like he’s behind everyone else; hell ANYONE else.” 

“This is something else, Matt. And even if I’m wrong, for just the very reasons you cited, the last thing he needs is to get involved with some new woman.” I tell him fervently. 

“You may be right, Mike, but unfortunately Josh doesn’t consult either of us about his personal decisions.” Matt reminds me. 

“Sure he does.” I reply. “Maybe consult is a little strong, but he ALWAYS talks to us about his personal decisions because he has a massive insecurity complex when it comes to his relationships with women. We just…plant the seed and add water once in awhile.” 

“Plant a seed?” Matt says skeptically. “You can’t be serious.” 

“Just a hint here or there that this cheesehead isn’t worth his time. And you and I can keep him busy with other stuff so he doesn’t have time to pursue this woman. Or we can convince him that she really isn’t interested in him. How hard can that be?” I ask in all seriousness. 

“Maybe under different circumstances, not so hard, but you didn’t see these two. They are both seriously smitten. And Donna? The cheesehead? She’s intelligent, beautiful, and a smart ass.” 

“Shit. We’re screwed.” I admit and sink lower into his chair. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“How was the chicken salad?” I ask. 

“Tastelesss.” Josh replies immediately and without forethought. It makes me laugh. 

“Really? You ate it all.” I note. 

“I was distracted by a thing.” He shrugs, but his eyes twinkle when they meet mine again. “So, Donna Moss, do I get a reward for finishing my chicken salad?” 

“Of course.” I tell him with a straight face. “You may have ice cream for dessert.” Again, his eyes twinkle. 

“That’s not quite the reward I was envisioning.” He tells me and his dimples make an appearance. I’m a little flustered by his direct stare so I change the subject. 

“This is a lovely restaurant. Thanks for bringing me here.” 

“My pleasure.” He replies. 

“Josh. I’ve been trying to reach you all day.” A voice reaches us from just behind Josh. This has been happening all through dinner. I’m apparently dining with an important man. 

“Sorry, Senator, I’ve been on the hill most of the day and didn’t get your message; new assistant.” Josh apologizes. 

“Again? Josh, they should just get you a revolving door.” The Senator jokes. 

“Hey, I kept an assistant for 3 months.” Josh defends himself. 

“Would those be the 3 months you were out of the office, recuperating?” I ask and the Senator laughs. 

“Jeff Tolbin.” He offers me his hand. 

“Senior Senator from Illinois.” I reply and shake his hand. Oops, I didn’t mean to say that out loud. It’s just that I’ve been studying the players, you know? 

“Yes, and you are?” 

“Forgive me, Senator. This is Donna Moss, she’s the new research assistant for Congressman Skinner.” Josh completes the introduction and I can’t help think that he’s also warning the Senator that I work for the enemy. 

“You’re not giving away party secrets just because she’s a beautiful woman, are you Josh?” Senator Tolbin asks. 

“If I knew any, they’d be in grave danger about now, sir.” Josh admits and I can literally feel my face turn red. 

“I can hardly blame you. You’ll call me in the morning?” 

“First thing. Goodnight, sir.” Josh rises to shake his hand and sits back down again. “Sorry about that. I really should have picked somewhere off the beaten path where we’d be less likely to be interrupted.” 

“Don’t be silly. I’m guessing it’s a professional hazard in this town. Besides, the food was wonderful, the ambiance lovely and…oh, they’re starting to play live music!” A quintet starts to play a Chopin piece and I don’t think the evening could possibly get any better. 

“Would you like some dessert?” Josh asks solicitously. 

“I don’t think I could eat another bite.” I admit. We’ve been sparring about politics and current events all through dinner. I’m actually pretty proud that I’m holding my own here. The man loves to argue. I’m keeping up my pretense that I’m on the other end of the political spectrum and since he’s never outright asked me if I’m a Republican I feel no need to admit it and short circuit my fun. 

“We could share.” He offers. “Or is that too close to socialism for you?” 

“Hmmmm…Since I’m sticking you with the check, it could be argued that it isn’t so much socialism as capitalism at work. I let the market dictate the value of dessert with me.” 

“Uh-huh. I’m a very persuasive man, Donna. All the television pundits say so. It’s only a matter of time before I bring you over from the dark side.” He tells me. I smile wondering what he’d say if I told him that wasn’t as much of a challenge as he thinks. 

“Maybe you should save your powers of persuasion for more important matters.” I suggest and he nods knowingly. He motions for the waiter and orders a piece of cheesecake for us to share after checking for my approval. He takes my hand in his and we sit quietly just enjoying the music. It isn’t long before I notice him rubbing the back of his neck and then his temples. 

“Are you okay?” I ask. His face has gotten pale. 

“I’m sorry. My head is just throbbing all of sudden.” He tries to re-assure me. “I’m fine. It’s probably just my body rebelling against the infusion of a healthy meal.” 

I smile back but it’s clear he doesn’t feel well. “I have some motrin in my purse.” I tell him and he immediately takes me up on my offer of medication and tosses back a couple pills. Still, he obviously isn’t well. 

“Josh? Why don’t we call it a night? You don’t look very good.” 

“Thanks a lot, Donna.” He pretends offense. “I’ll be fine as soon as the motrin kicks in. Besides, we ordered dessert.” 

I can take care of that. I flag down the waiter and tell him we’ll take the cheesecake to go. Josh’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Will you be taking charge of the check now, too?” He asks. 

“I feel confident that you can handle that small detail.” I tell him although now that the meal is over it occurs to me that the bill may not be a SMALL detail. Nonetheless, he takes care of it in no time and soon we’re walking toward Ainsley’s place. We debated taking a cab the short distance but when I suggest the fresh air might help his headache he readily agrees. 

“Fresh air, exercise and healthy food all in one day. Who’d ever had guessed?” He teases. 

“Careful it might become a habit.” I note. 

“Doubtful. Left to my own devices, I’m afraid I’ll just drift back to my old bad habits.” He says mournfully. 

“You may need more personal guidance.” I agree. 

“That’s a very generous offer.” He accepts an offer I never made. “Thanks.” 

“I wasn’t offering MY personal guidance.” 

“Just like a Republican. I’m struggling to make a major change in my life and I’m left to pull myself up by my own bootstraps.” He complains. 

“Too much of a handout might blunt your ability to stick with the changes you’re trying to make. It’s really for your own good.” I explain. 

“Ah!” He laughs. “Hoist on my own petard.” 

“You look like you’re feeling better.” I tell him. 

“Walking in the moonlight with you has incredible restorative powers.” He quips. 

“Sadly for you, the walk is over. This is Ainsley’s building.” I motion to the doors to our right. Reluctantly, we both walk up the front steps. 

“I have a dilemma.” He tells me looking at his shoes. 

“Let me help you with that. I’M keeping the cheesecake.” 

He laughs again. “Okay, two dilemmas.” He amends. “The second one is this: Usually, on a night like this, when I’ve enjoyed the company of a lovely and charming woman, and I’ve walked her to the door…Usually, if the companion is so inclined, I might end the evening with a kiss goodnight.” 

“But in this case?” My heart is pounding so hard, I swear he must be able to hear it. 

“Never having dated a Republican before, I’m unsure of the protocol. I mean, usually Republicans are more socially conservative and I wouldn’t want to take the initiative on a kiss that you might not feel comfortable engaging in on a front stoop in Georgetown, thereby putting a horrible ending to an otherwise lovely evening. So I really don’t know how to proceed at this point without disappointing one or both of us and-" 

Unable to take it any longer, I grab his tie and pull him close enough to plant a thorough kiss on his lips. He freezes for a second before he shifts into gear and kisses me back, using his hands to move our bodies closer together. It’s electric and one hell of a first kiss. When I finally pull back to catch my breath, we’re both panting. 

“Damn.” He mutters. “You’re pretty forward for a conservative Republican.” 

I take a step away from him, the container of cheesecake safely in my hands. “That’s because I’m a liberal Democrat. Goodnight, Joshua. Thanks for everything.” I slip into the building before he can respond. 

New dress at Macy’s; $139. New shoes; $69. Cost of borrowing my cousin’s designer purse; one week of washing dishes. Leaving Joshua Lyman, political operative extraordinaire, speechless on the front stoop? Priceless… 

TBC


	4. Angels and Demons

There’s a pounding on my door and it can be only one person at this time of night. I open the door and sure enough, there he is. 

Josh. 

Anyone else would have been way more polite....by not coming by at this hour... 

“SHE’S A DEMOCRAT!?” 

“This is a bad thing for you?” I ask raising my eyebrows. 

“You hired a Democrat?” he seems...shocked. 

“She’s doing research for me. Plus she argues with me all the time and works kinda fun now.” I confess. 

“Because being a United States Congressman had no perks before she came along.” he says dryly, dropping down onto my couch. 

“Ainsley told me I had to hire her because I needed a smart person in my office who disagreed with me.” I explain and Josh lets out a rather ironic sounding laugh. “What?” 

“That’s how the President and Leo got Ainsley to come work for us.” 

“Damn! She swindled me.” I say dramatically. “Well, whatever. Donna’s good at her job. Yes, she’s a Democrat. I assumed you knew that and that’s why she was attractive to you.” 

“No. I assumed she was a Republican and she just let me believe it and argued with me. She just told me now.” 

I laugh out loud. “I told you she was snarky.” 

“Yeah, she’s pretty good.” 

“Met your match, have you?” I smile. 

“Yeah, I think so.” he says. He looks a little distracted now and he also looks a little pale. 

“Are you feeling all right?” 

“Do I look like shit?” he shoots back. “Donna asked me that, too.” 

“You don’t look good. When do you have another checkup?” 

“I don’t.” he says. “I got the all clear to go back to work. That was it. The love affair between me and my medical team is now over. Did you hear that? Medical TEAM, not just one. And you don’t even want to see how much money they’re telling me I have to pay OUTSIDE of insurance.” 

“Yeah, insurance in this country sucks. Somebody should do something about it.” I snark.   
I’m going to get him some water. He looks like he could use it. I have noticed the differences in him lately and I have been concerned, but come on. The guy was shot. That’s got to throw you for a loop, you know? He had bypass surgery. This is a guy who’s made of kinetic energy and had to be still for three months. 

I return to the living room and hand him the bottle of water wordlessly. Just as silently, he accepts it. There’s not a person on the planet that knows this guy like I do. Sure, there are those that know him well. Real well in the case of Mike and Chris. But only I know how he gets when he’s nervous. Only I know what goes through his head when he thinks he’s going to fail at something. Only I know that there’s massive amounts of insecurity under the tough and confident political savant exterior that everybody sees. 

And in case you’re wondering, no, I’ve never wished I could date him. 

Chris and Mike see sides to him that nobody else does. But he comes to me when he’s really having a problem because I grew up with the guy. I knew his sister. I saw how devastated he was when she died. I’ve seen this man cry. Chris and Mike? Not so much. 

“I think you should make an appointment to see your doctor.” I say. “Or at the very least, talk to the First Lady.” 

He huffs and falls back into the couch cushions. “It’s November. My immune system is just getting back up to snuff. I’m probably just coming down with something.” 

“Okay.” I say, letting it drop. This is where everyone else makes their mistakes with Josh. They’d hound the shit out of him. That only makes things a mess. Josh needs to be finessed. In everything. You want to see an high maintenance friend? This is him, my friends. 

I remember the day I told him I was gay. I took him out in my father’s boat so when the fight started, no one would hear it and he couldn’t escape. He looked at me incredulously and said, “Gay AND a Republican?” And that was it. He was a little off for a couple of weeks while he got adjusted to the idea, but that was that. 

“So, now that you’ve spent a little more time with her, what do you think of Donna?” I change the subject. 

He smiles lightly while he thinks about it. 

He’s so gone. 

“She’s really smart. Until she told me she was a Democrat, all through dinner, she argued the Republican side of everything and really believably. She’s funny. She’s beautiful. She made me eat chicken.” 

“So things went well then?” I ask. 

He looks up at me and he looks so sincere. “She’s just what I need, Matt.” 

“Well, I hope if works out then.” 

I genuinely mean that, too. I know Mike is concerned and thinks that this is a bad time to start a relationship, and maybe it is. But what if she’s what he needs? What if his pursuit of her is what keeps him motivated? She’s getting him to eat better, and he’s so smitten, he is. How can that be a bad thing? I think Mike needs to actually meet her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, how’d it go?” Ainsley asks me as soon as I close the door to her apartment. 

I smile and lean up against the door. “Wonderful.” I sigh. 

“Seriously?” she looks a little surprised. 

“Yeah.” I say then lose my smile. “Why?” 

“I don’t know.” she shrugs. “He’s known for not being able to keep assistants and being...well, an ego maniac.” 

“Hey,” I say hanging up my coat and dropping down onto the couch with her. “I felt kinda funny asking Matt this, but you’ve been around here for a while. Sherry, Matt’s receptionist, said that Josh is known for being a player and a power dater.” 

Ainsley bursts out laughing and clamps her hand over her mouth. “That’s a no?” I surmise. 

“Donna, he hasn’t dated anyone in about three years now. The last person he dated was Mandy Hampton, a media consultant and a bitch, but not too much of a player in the party. She worked for the President for a while but left after the shooting. There’s whispers around the White House that Leo actually fired her, but no one really knows if that’s true. But a player? Josh? No.” 

“He didn’t SEEM like that type.” I say relieved and pick at the lint on the couch. “But Sherry said...” 

“Donna, I will tell you this. Josh is one of DC’s most eligible bachelors. Like, half the women in DC want to date him or just sleep with him.” 

“Really?” I ask. 

“Really.” 

“And he wants to date me?” I’m a little surprised by this revelation. I mean, why go after this little nobody from Wisconsin when you can date a woman that’s going to advance your career and clout around town? 

“Well, seeing as how he doesn’t actually sleep around, I would assume he’s not attracted to those kinds of women.” she shrugs. 

I roll on my back and look up at her. “He kissed me.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Well, technically he was talking about how he wasn’t sure if I would kiss him, being that he thought I was a conservative Republican and not a hussy, so I grabbed him and kissed him.” 

“Proving that you are a hussy?” 

“Hey!” I say smacking her leg. 

“I’m just kidding.” she laughs. “I know you’re not a hussy. Is he a good kisser?” 

“Yeah.” I sigh again. “A really good kisser.” 

“Have you told him about Dan?” 

“No.” I say pulling my knees up. “We didn’t really talk about stuff like that. I suppose it’ll come out in the natural course of getting to know each other. Do you think it’s a bad time for me to date? What if Josh is rebound?” 

“I don’t think he’s rebound.” she says confidently. 

“No?” 

“I don’t think he’d stand for being rebound.” she shakes her head. “But he is recovering from being shot, so taking it slow would probably be a good thing on both your parts. He’s really behind at work, and Sam says he’s been kinda snappy and cranky.” 

“Who’s Sam?” 

“The guy I spanked on t.v.” 

“Oh. He knows him well?” 

“Yeah, they’ve been friends for a while.” 

“Matt’s known him all his life.” 

“Really? I knew they were friends but I didn’t know they’d known each other that long.” she says a little surprised. 

“Yeah. They went to college together and everything.” 

“Well, then he’s probably the best one to tell you more about Josh.” she says. And I drop my legs back down and think about that kiss again. I wonder if he’d be surprised if I showed up at his place and told him it was just because I wanted to kiss him again. Might be a good idea...if I knew where the hell he lived. I don’t even have his phone number yet. I’ll have to call him at the White House tomorrow. I think that’s information I’m going to need. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Donna.” Matt says and this bombshell looks up at us. “This is Mike Casper.” 

“Oh hi!” she smiles. Damn, that’s some kind of smile. “The one that works for the FBI?” 

“That’s me.” I smile back and she walks over and shakes my hand. She’s hot. 

“Donna went out to dinner with Josh last night.” Matt informs me with a look. 

“Really?” I ask. “How was that?” 

“Oh, he’s a great guy.” she gushes. Wait. She’s gushing? About Josh? “He’s so smart and so funny. He’s got a great smile.” 

I look over at Matt with a raised eyebrow. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a woman gush about Josh like that before. They usually talk about all the political power he’s got. Oh, and that cutest ass in politics thing, which I personally think is debatable. They talk about how he devours his opponents on Meet the Press, but funny? Can’t say I’ve heard that one before. 

“Oh God, you’re going to, like, live here now aren’t you?” Matt groans as Josh enters the office. 

“I’m not here for you.” Josh shoots back smiling at Donna. 

“I kinda figured that.” 

I catch the look passing between Josh and Donna. You can feel the energy in the room rise. She’s watching him with eyes that are much brighter than they were just a moment ago. He’s smiling bigger than I’ve seen him smile since before the shooting. He sits down on the corner of her desk and starts fiddling with some koosh thing she’s got there. 

“So, it’s lunch time.” he notes to her. 

“This is where my taxpayer dollars go? The Deputy Chief of Staff coming to my office himself to tell me the time of day?” she smirks. Oh, she IS a smart ass. And he is eating it up. 

“Yes. And not only have I take the time out of my VERY busy schedule to do that, but I thought that maybe you could point out the healthier food on the menu of Moby Dick’s in Georgetown.” 

“Moby Dick’s?” I blurt. “Five Guys has the best burgers.” Josh shoots me a glare. What? What’d I say? It does. It’s his favorite lunch place. 

“Moby Dick’s you say?” she pulls up the menu on the internet and looks it over, then nods. “It’s acceptable.” 

Josh looks over at Matt. “Hey, don’t look at me.” he says throwing up his hands. “I’m just the boss. Pay no mind to me.” 

“Great!” Josh says, then turns to Donna. “Get your coat.” When she walks back with it, he actually takes it from her and helps her shrug into it. They leave the office hand in hand, smiling at each other like a couple of teenagers. 

“Still think it’s a bad idea?” Matt asks me. 

“I think it’s a VERY bad idea.” I reply. “She is hot though.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Where is she?” Chris demands swinging into my office. I love how everyone thinks I have nothing to do. 

“Where is who?” I sigh. 

“The girl that’s got everyone in a tizzy? Diane?” 

“Donna.” I say. 

“Yeah, her. Where is she?” 

“Out to lunch with Josh.” I say, pushing the bill I was reading aside and leaning back in my chair. Chris heads over to my minibar and pours himself a drink. What the hell, right? It’s 5 o’clock somewhere. 

“At the White House?” he asks handing me a scotch. 

“Nope.” I reply. “He’s been dragging her to every dining establishment in Georgetown under the guise of checking the menu for healthy food.” 

“Josh is having lunch, with a woman, outside of the White House.” 

“And apparently, this is a very bad thing.” I drone. 

“I can see Mike’s point.” 

“Yeah? Well, you need to see Josh around Donna because he really likes her.” I reply. “He’s excited about her and he hasn’t dated anyone in three years.” 

“I’m just saying, Mike’s right, he’s been acting weird lately. Maybe he should just take it easy and get back up to par.” He suggests. 

“Get back up to par?” I repeat. “He was cleared to go back to work. He’s scaring the shit out of everyone with this marriage recognition veto shit, how much more up to par does he need to be? He likes her, she likes him. Why is this so bad?” 

“Maybe it’s not.” He shrugs. 

“Maybe you should come down on somebody’s side here.” 

“I see both sides.” 

“That’s exactly what got you in hot water with Josh a few months ago, by the way, when you let those other guys lead you off the reservation and you’ve been walking on eggshells around him ever since.” 

“Josh and I are fine.” He dismisses with a hand wave. 

“Yeah, but you’re still freaked out by him around here. I told you when you won that seat that Josh doesn’t fuck around.” 

“Nice mouth, Congressman.” 

“It’s his job.” I insist, blowing that little comment off. 

“You didn’t vote for it.” 

“I’m a Republican.” 

“Can we move off this topic and back to the original one?” he says impatiently. “You haven’t noticed anything wrong with Josh? Mike said you blew him off.” 

“Of course I have.” I reply. “But I’m not going to sabotage something that’s making him happy. Give the guy a break, his life was all over CNN for weeks. If he’s not back to normal by Christmas, we’ll sit him down. If you and Mike hound the shit out of him, he’s going to go into a corner and stay there. You can’t do that crap with him.” 

“People are saying he’s off his game.” 

“And what are you saying in response?” 

“That Josh Lyman doesn’t get off his game and they’d be foolish to operate under that assumption.” 

I nod, happy with his answer. “Everybody wants him off his game. If you guys want him to get back to what you say is normal, you need to give him some space and treat him like you always do. Stop babying him.” 

“We’re just concerned.” 

“I’m concerned, too.” I say, then lower my voice as I see Donna and Josh return outside. “Just give him a little time to bounce back.” I stand up and gesture for him to follow me out to the outer office. It’s just Josh and Donna out here as everyone else has gone to lunch. 

“Hey.” I greet. 

“Hi, Matt.” Donna smiles at us. Josh has his arm around her and it tightens a bit around her waist. 

“Donna, this is Chris Wick.” I introduce. 

“Hi.” She smiles at him, and god help the poor guy, he falls under the same spell everyone else does and smiles like a buffoon as he shakes her hand. 

“It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

“From who?” Josh asks. 

“Uh…Matt.” He says. Thanks a lot. “He says you’re a great researcher. Maybe I could steal you away from the dark side. I’m actually a Democrat.” Josh arches a brow and looks away, but wisely holds his tongue. That’s between them. They don’t seem to be too much worse for the wear after that, so I’m going to leave it alone and let them resolve it themselves. 

“Well, I have to get back.” He says pulling away from her. He leans in and kisses her and my eyes pop out of my head as I see her grab onto his arm. She looks a little dazed when he pulls away. 

Damn. 

“Hey! Don’t grope my staff at work!” I say. 

“I’ll pick you up later.” He says quietly to her. 

“Kay.” She smiles. 

“Bye, guys.” He says to us. I’m surprised he remembered we were in the room. Donna smiles as she watches him leave, then resumes her seat at her desk. 

“Well, well, well.” Chris says with raised eyebrows and walks over near her. “It seems you’ve made quite an impression on our boy.” 

“He’s very charming.” She smiles. 

“Charming!?” Chris laughs. “I guess.” 

She cocks her head to the side and looks at him in question. “Well, I find him charming.” She says stressing the word I. 

“It’s okay, Donna.” I say jumping into the fray. “We’re just not used to a woman pointing out qualities of Josh that we don’t really see. He’s had no reason to, you know, show us the charming side. We’ll be in here.” I yank Chris back into my office. 

“Nice job.” I say, closing the door. 

“Mike’s right, she is hot.” He smiles. 

“You two would be wise to never repeat those words around Josh.” I say, looking down at my desk and pulling the file I was working on back into view. 

“He does seem to like her though.” He says thoughtfully. 

“He likes her a lot.” I reply and my extension buzzes. 

“Yeah, Donna.” 

“Matt, the majority leader is on the line. He needs to talk to you about the Marriage Recognition Act.” 

I look over at Chris, who raises his eyebrows and his hands and turns away. 

Shit. This can’t be good. 

TBC


	5. Angels and Demons

“I have to take this, I’m sorry.” I excuse myself once I see the number on the caller ID, and turn away from the lunch table. “Josh Lyman.” 

“I was told by my assistant you wanted to speak to me?” Congressman Grisholm plays innocent with me. I hate that. 

“I was told by the whips office that you may be wavering on the vote.” I lay it on the line. Normally, I’d play around with him a bit for sport, but I’m anxious to get back to lunch with the fair Donnatella. It’s our third lunch this week and the magic just isn’t wearing off. Isn’t that a beautiful name; Donnatella? Matt slipped me this interesting bit of information from her employment application. I’m waiting for just the right occasion to use it. I’m thinking at some point when we’re both partially naked. God…what was I saying? 

“See, the thing is, Josh, my constituents really aren’t in favor of this bill. I’m getting calls at the rate of 3 to 1 against. So I really can’t support the President on this one. You understand, right?” 

“Oh, sure, I understand. I understand completely. I just want to make sure you understand.” I reply and take a carrot, yes a carrot, off my plate and munch on it. 

“Understand…?” He asks hesitantly. What a putz. 

“Understand when the amendment you want to add to the highways bill gets no support. Turns out the PRESIDENT’S constituents really aren’t in favor of it. Also, the subcommittee chair position is going to have to go to Montgomery.” 

“Montgomery!” He protests. I keep munching on the carrot after I dip it in some kind of sauce…hmmmmm, not too bad. 

“Yeah, he’s not only voting for the President’s bill, but he’s bringing three ‘yea’ votes with him. He’s my new best friend. Good things happen to my best friends. I’m sure it’s coincidental. Oh, I just remembered something else! The President isn’t going to be available for the photo op with you on Friday. I’m sure you ‘understand’.” 

“Josh…wait a second…I…I obviously misunderstood the importance of this vote to the President.” Yeah, we’ve gotten to the groveling portion of the program. “I’m sure I can find a way to explain the vote to my constituents.” 

“Sure you can. You’re a very talented politician.” I figuratively pat his head and eat another carrot. “The President will be very happy to hear you’ve changed your mind.” 

“And he’ll be able to make the photo op on Friday?” He wants to know. 

“Yeah…I’ll have to get back to you on that.” I snap the phone shut and look over at my lunch companion. Her mouth is gaping open and her face is a kind of pink color. 

“Donna? Are you okay?” 

“You were just threatening a Congressman.” 

“Well…yeah. That’s my job.” I explain. Shit. I’m guessing this isn’t how they conduct business in Madison. “Look, sometimes when things get down to the wire…” 

“Can you do it again?” 

“What?” 

“Call another one.” She says in a really low voice and then it hits me. She’s all turned on by this. I can’t help the smile that creeps onto my face. Besides our lunches, things have been too busy to enjoy a normal evening date so our…courtship as been limited to a quick kiss goodbye after lunch and holding hands while we walk around the city. It’s not that I’m not anxious to move on here, but as I mentioned before I’ve got these nasty scars and I’m not all that anxious for Donna to see them. 

Still, this is the first real indication I’ve had that she’d be comfortable with a little…more. Except for when she planted one on me the first night we went out. That was amazing. 

“I…really don’t have another one to call right now. But if one comes up, I’ll be sure to let you know.” I lean closer to her in the booth we’re sharing. Our lips are a whisper apart. 

“Will there be anything else today, Mr. Lyman?” God, I had to pick a place with excellent service. We both abruptly turn away and feign a great interest in our plates. 

“No, I left a copy of the credit slip for you. Thanks, Todd.” I manage a weak smile. “Ready to go, Donna?” 

“Umm…sure.” She replies and slips out of the booth and takes my outstretched hand. If anyone told me a couple weeks ago that I’d be walking through D.C. hand in hand with a woman from Wisconsin that I’d just met, I’d have laughed them off. But this? It just feels right. We get outside the restaurant and we’re walking silently down the street. When we get to the corner, Donna tugs on my hand and pulls me into the alley where her lips again clamp on mine and her hands wander inside my jacket and glide across my chest. Dear. God. 

“Are all women from Wisconsin like this? Cause I got to say-“ 

“Shut up.” She orders and I obey. Her mouth is like honey. Finally I get why Winnie the Pooh can’t get enough of the stuff. I have to get back to the White House…I know there’s something important going on there soon…what IS that again? Hmmmm…god, she’s so warm and soft…and did I mention sweet? 

“Donnatella…” I know, we’re not half naked, but I wish we were so that’s going to have to count for now. “President Bartlet!” My head snaps up as I remember my post lunch appointment. Donna’s head snaps back too, only hers snaps back in amusement. 

“You really shouldn’t call out someone else’s name while you’re kissing me, Joshua. It’s bad form.” She snarks. God, I love this woman! Shit! Did I just say that out loud? Her expression hasn’t changed so I’m guessing not. Whewww. I’ve only known her for like, a week, I can’t be in love with her already, but… 

“I…I have a meeting…with the President…of the United States.” I manage even though my breathing is still heavy. 

She smirks a little. “He’s the only one I’d let you leave me for.” She punctuates her comment with another kiss. I wonder if I can call in sick? “Thanks for lunch.” 

“We need to quit the lunches.” I say without thinking and see the shock on her face. “No! I mean, quit the lunches to make room for dinners instead…or maybe breakfasts?” She rewards me for this brilliant idea with another kiss. Being smart is apparently a turn on for Donnatella Moss. Where the hell was she when I was in college? 

“I’ve really got to go.” I tell her reluctantly and she nods her understanding. “I’ll talk to you later?” 

“Sure. Say ‘hi’ to the President for me.” She teases. Then I remember something else. 

“Say ‘hi’ to him yourself.” I challenge and she laughs. 

“Sure, I’ll just drop by the Oval on my way back to work.” 

“You could. But I was talking about the fundraiser thing on Saturday. Come with me and I’ll introduce you to him.” I offer. 

“Meet the President of the United States.” She repeats. 

“He’ll love you. You two share a geeky research gene.” 

“I’m SO telling him you said that.” She threatens. 

“He won’t be surprised, I assure you.” I tell her. 

“A fundraiser sounds expensive.” She says quietly. Shit. I didn’t think about that. She’s staying with Ainsley and just started a new job, it’ not like she’s sitting on fat bank account right now. 

“Since I’m taking you, it only seems fair that I get you a dress for the thing.” I toss out there. 

“No, Josh, that wouldn’t be right, and a big fancy fundraiser with all these important people…I just wouldn’t feel comfortable.” 

“I wouldn’t feel comfortable without you there.” I tell her honestly and see her eyes soften. “Please?” 

“I wouldn’t fit in there, Josh.” She tells me, but I know that she would. Time to bring out the big guns. 

“I dare you.” I say and watch her eyes narrow. 

“Excuse me?” 

“You heard me. I dare you to go to the fundraiser with me. In fact, I double dare you to go to the fundraiser and let me find the perfect dress for the occasion.” 

Her eyes travel dubiously down my rumpled suit and questionable tie. 

“Fine. Matt will find you the perfect dress.” I amend the dare. 

“Are you sure?” She confirms. “Isn’t there someone more…” 

“More what?” I ask laughing. 

“More ‘in the beltway’ I guess.” She waves her arm around the general vicinity of the D.C. neighborhood. 

“I’m sure there are plenty of women ‘more in the beltway’.” I confirm. “But nobody is more beautiful, charming, and fun than you. I double dare you, Donnatella.” 

One of the things I’ve discovered about Donna is that she is no more capable of stepping away from a dare than I am. 

“Stop. Calling me that.” She sidesteps. 

“You didn’t seem to mind a minute ago.” I tease. “Chicken…" 

“Fine. I’ll go. Happy?” she rolls her eyes at me. 

“Ecstatic!” I reply and give her one more kiss before I have to dash back to work. “I’ll call you tonight. Bye, Donnatella!” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“What?” Josh looks up at me. What is with the kid? Is it this new woman I’ve been hearing about that’s distracting him? Nah, it started before the woman came on the scene. 

“The President asked if Grisholm is back on the reservation.” I repeat for him while the President looks at him with narrowed eyes. 

“Oh, yeah. I mean, yes sir. I just spoke with him. He’s looking forward to your photo op on Friday.” Josh answers. 

“What did we have to promise him?” I ask. 

“Nothing.” He replies and I raise my eyebrows at him. “Nothing, Leo. We’re all good. He’s just happy to help out the President on this one.” Josh gives me what I refer to as his ‘shark smile’. There’s a story there. I’ll have to get it from him later. 

“Good work.” There is nobody in this city sharper, ladies and gentlemen, then Joshua Lyman when he brings his A game. I just haven’t seen that much of it lately. “Oh, and I need to you call and personally invite Wissinger to the thing on Saturday.” 

“He didn’t get a formal invitation?” Josh asks in surprise. 

“No, he did. He’s just complaining that he’s not feeling the love lately. He’s a huge donor, and we want him to feel the love. Maybe ask to escort the daughter or something. Didn’t she have some sort of a crush?” 

“No.” Josh replies. 

“I could have sworn I heard that she did.” I frown. 

“No, she did, but no, I can’t escort the daughter. I’ve already asked someone else.” Josh explains. What? Now I take my glasses off and look at my Deputy a little closer. 

“You’re bringing a date to the fundraiser? You never bring dates to the fundraiser.” 

“Well, I’m bringing a date to this one. Have Sam escort the daughter.” He suggests, but Sam coughs. 

“Actually, I’m already bringing someone myself.” Sam admits. 

“Who are you bringing?” Josh asks Sam. 

“Who are you bringing?” Sam asks back. 

“I asked you first.” Josh stated. “Tell me who you’re bringing and then I’ll tell you who I’m bringing.” 

“Yours is Donna. Who else could it possibly be?” Sam scoffs. 

“LEO!” The President roars. He really doesn’t have patience for this stuff. Not like I do, but… 

“Just call Wissinger and make sure he knows we’re looking forward to seeing him. Anything else? No? Good. Go do a job, people.” Our staff streams from the room, Josh and Sam immediately bickering again and I think I hear Josh scream, “Ainsley Hayes?!” but I’m not certain. 

“Leo, does Josh seem off to you?” The President asks me. 

“Maybe a little, sir, but I don’t know that that’s unusual given what he’s been through.” I shrug. 

“He’s been spending nights and weekends in the building since he got back. Shoo him out of here will you?” 

“I’ll see what I can do sir, but honestly, Josh doesn’t like feeling like he’s behind and after missing 3 months of work you KNOW he’s feeling behind.” 

“Keep an eye on him will you? Abby’ asking me all sorts of questions I really don’t feel qualified to answer.” 

“So you’re just going to tell Abby I’M on top of it?” I roll my eyes. “Great. We can add medical health professional to my growing lit of duties.” 

“I don’t get the feeling that it’ his medical health she’s concerned about…anyway, just keep an eye on him and make sure he leaves the building for food and sleep, okay?” 

“Yes, sir.” I agree reluctantly and return to my office. It’s not like he has to ask me to keep an eye on Josh. He’s like a son to me. I thought I was going to die that night in Rosslyn; my best friend and my surrogate son both shot. Lord may I never have to live through anything like that again! Yeah…I think the worst is over. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“I’ll be done in just a few minutes, I promise.” He shouts back to me from his office. 

“Don’t worry about it. Your work is important, I get that.” I assure him and wander around his living room. It is lived in; not actually dirty, just very…messy. Out of habit, and a bit of boredom, I start straightening things out; newspapers and magazines in one pile, research papers and briefing memos in another. There are three different books, all political in nature, opened and left for dead at different spots. I mark the pages with sticky notes before placing them back on his extensive bookshelves. 

He has like a million pictures scattered all over the room and it makes me feel good to see how much he enjoys being surrounded by memories of family and friends. I see a picture of him with an older man and woman that can only be his parents and I frown. He told me how he lost his Dad to cancer during the Presidential campaign and I could hear in his voice how much that loss still pain him. He talks about his mom with great affection. I hope I get to meet her at some point. 

There are several pictures of ‘the gang’, as I think of them, all over and varying in age. These four men are very different and yet they’re connected in a way that you don’t see very often with men. They truly care about each other very much; they tease each other mercilessly and love to give each other shit, but at the end of the day any one of them would walk through fire for any of the others…and they all know it too. 

We all went out for drinks after work a couple nights ago and the other three took great delight in telling stories designed to embarrass Josh. But they were also asking me a lot of questions; especially Mike, like they were making sure I was good enough for their friend. I didn’t take it personally, I assume they’d be cautious about any woman entering Josh’s life. He’s been through a lot lately and they don’t want to see him hurt any more. 

“Thanks for being patient. With the President getting ready to go to Portland and this vote coming up…” He waves his hands in dismissal. 

“The Marriage Recognition Act?” I ask. 

“I’m not discussing that with you.” He’s been adamant about this vote being off limits. We discuss everything else so I don’t get the embargo on this subject, but he feels very strongly about it so… 

“Whatever. Are you done now? With work?” I ask as I finish moving the re-organized piles onto the end table. 

“Are you…cleaning?” He asks. 

“Just straightening up a little. That’s not a problem, is it?” Have I touched something I shouldn’t have? Moved a sacrosanct object of some sorts? 

“You don’t have to do that.” He tells me. I think he’s embarrassed. That’s kind of cute. 

“I really do. There was nowhere to sit.” I explain. He rolls his eyes and flops onto the couch. After only a second of hesitation, I join him there. Then my eyes land on a picture I didn’t notice before. “Who’s that?” I point to the picture. 

“That’s me and my sister Joanie.” He admits and puts his arm around me. 

I slap his chest. “You didn’t tell me you had a sister.” 

“Joanie died when I was 9. There was a fire in our house and she didn’t make it out.” 

“Oh, God, Josh! I’m so sorry!” I cover my mouth with my hands in horror. What did I say? 

He takes my hands in his and pulls them away from my face. “It’s okay, Donna. You didn’t know. It was a very long time ago.” 

“Still…” I shake my head in sadness and press my palm to his cheek. “You’ve been through way too much in your short life, Joshua.” I offer a kiss, but it’s not one of the passion filled kisses we’ve been sharing lately. It’s the sort of kiss you’d give a child who’d been hurt. His head drops to his chest and I drop a kiss on his forehead too. “She looks like she’s full of mischief. Is that where you learned to make trouble?” 

“At a very early age, yes.” Josh smiles sweetly and looks up at his sister’s picture. “It sounds goofy, I guess, but I really miss her sometimes. Especially now that it’s just me and Mom.” 

“I don’t think it’s goofy. I’d have loved to have a sister. Two older brothers did not make growing up easy, believe me.” I can feel the chuckle bubble up in chest. 

“I’m guessing they had their hands full keeping the boys away from their sister.” 

“There weren’t many guys brave enough to knock on my front door.” I agree. 

We just cuddle in a comfortable silence for awhile. I get the feeling he’s looking for a way to change the subject. A minute later I’m vindicated. 

“Explain to me again why I don’t get to preview this dress I paid for?” He asks. 

“Because it’s a surprise.” I answer primly. The dress makes me feel like a Princess and keeping it a surprise helps me live out that fantasy. “When you see me Saturday in my gorgeous new dress and strappy new heels you’ll-" 

“Heels? I never agreed to buy new shoes!” He protests but I can tell he’s messing with me. 

“Matt said you Okayed everything.” I counter playing along. 

“Everything?!” His voice gets all high and squeaky. 

“You can’t just go in a dress!” I explain. “A woman needs shoes, a purse, jewelry, cosmetics-“ 

“Just how much did Matt soak me for?” Josh demands to know. 

“It will be worth it, I promise you.” Matt assured me that nothing we spent was out of Josh’s comfort zone. In fact, he kind of implied Josh was loaded. You’d never know it looking at how and where he lives. I mean, he has a very nice place, and drives a great car, but most in Washington politics do. 

“How worth it?” He asks skeptically. 

“Oh, I think you’ll find it’s worth every penny.” I purr. “And if you don’t think so, then you can feel free to remove it from my body and return it.” 

“What if, in order to judge it’s worth, I need to see it on a hanger at the end of the evening?” He asks quietly and kisses the side of my neck. We’ve been dancing around this subject for a few days now. 

“In the interest of practicing my debate skills, we could argue the point.” I suggest. 

“I’d really prefer to use your lips for activities other than debating.” 

“I don’t know, Josh. Listening to you debate an issue really gets me hot.” 

“In that case...” Josh smiles and keeping his eyes on mine, unbuttons my shirt. “The test ban treaty should have been ratified. Not having that treaty endangers our lives and the lives of our children.” He rattles off passionately. 

“Tell me more.” I whisper in his ear. 

“We have to have Universal healthcare, Donnatella. People are being turned away by insurance companies for the unpardonable sin of an inherited or pre-existing condition. Why is it that the richest country in the world can’t see to it that all its’ citizens have access to basic health care?” 

“Kiss me.” I request and he immediately complies. God, does he comply. Things ramp up pretty quickly and before I know it both our shirts are off and we’re skin to skin from the waist up. My body is on fire and I can hardly think straight. 

“Donnatella…” He moans and takes my breast into his mouth. 

“God, Josh…” I throw my head back and close my eyes. I feel his hand venture down my body and start to unzip my pants. It’s like someone splashes cold water on my face. 

“Wait!” I shout and sit up suddenly, conking our heads together. 

“Jesus!” Josh shouts and rubs his head with his hand. “What? What did I do?” 

“I’m sorry. I’m so…sorry.” I pant and grab my shirt from the floor, hastily putting it on. 

“It’s okay. It’s fine.” Josh holds a hand out to reassure me. “What..happened just now? Is it…is it my scars?” 

“God, no!” I tell him quickly. “I didn’t even notice them, I swear. I’m not sure….I…I don’t think I’m ready.” I tell him while I pace the length of the living room. 

“I’m not an ‘expert’ or anything, but it kind of seemed like you were.” Josh looks at me cautiously. 

“I know, I know…I’m sorry.” I tell him sincerely holding my hands to my chest. “It’s just…well, I told you about Dan…” 

Josh rolls his eyes. “Dr. Freeride, right.” 

“It’s just that a few weeks ago I was living with him and now-“ 

“Can we please not talk about that?” Josh requests, reaching for his shirt on the floor. 

“But it’s part of this.” I insist and see his eyes spark. 

“No. It is NOT part of THIS.” He points his finger between the two of us. 

I take a deep breath and try to explain this to him without ticking him off again. 

“No…but it’s part of why I don’t trust my judgment much these days. Can you understand that?” I look directly into his eyes and feel mine start to tear up. 

“Oh God, Donna, please don’t cry.” He implores me. 

“I’m trying not to. I just need you to understand. This isn’t about you. You’ve been wonderful and being with you has been…beyond words.” I tell him and something must sink in because he walks across the room and pulls me into his arms. 

“I’m not sure I understand…entirely. But I do know that I want you to feel safe and comfortable with me.” 

“I do.” I promise him. “I just need a little more time?” 

“Ah-kay.” Josh let out a breath. “Maybe we should go out for awhile? Get a late night treat someplace? There’s a fabulous bakery down the street.” 

“There’s nothing in a bakery but sugar and fat.” I tell him. 

“Give me a break here, Donna.” He moans. “Let me indulge in at least one vice this evening?” 

That makes me chuckle and just like that, everything’s fine between us again. 

“Get your jacket, then. It’s cold outside.” I advise him. 

“It’s gotten considerably colder inside too.” He mutters. 

“Joshua!” I smack him again on his shoulder and he helps me on with my coat first. 

“It’s a really hot dress I got you?” He asks and rests his chin on my shoulder. 

“Very beautiful…and very hot: even Matt says so. And I’ll be wearing it just for you.” I tell him. 

“Yeah, I’m getting the double fudge brownie deluxe now.” He informs me. 

“Will you share?” I pout. He can’t say no to my pout, I’ve discovered. 

“I guess…” He takes my hand and leads me away from the apartment of temptation. He really is a great man. 

TBC


	6. Angels and Demons

I SO don’t belong here. Oh my God, look at these women! I can’t believe I let Josh con me into this. Double dare, indeed. I mean, I look good. Don’t get me wrong. Matt went all out here. He accessorized and everything. It’s a long, satin chocolate colored dress that’s tasteful, simple, and elegant. Well, Matt says it’s tasteful. I beg to differ. The neckline plunges and when I say its low, I mean it’s almost to China low, and there’s no back. I don’t know how this is tasteful, but Josh did a wonderful fish impression when he saw it all then mumbled something about not finding Matt’s humor funny at all. I don’t know. 

Not long after we got to the biggest house I’ve ever seen in my life…and I mean, it’s enormous, I keep looking for Robin Leach…Josh got pulled into a meeting with a couple of senators and a wealthy donor. He looked very apologetic about it, and I knew that there was nothing he could do about it, but I’ve been searching the sea of strangers for… I don’t know… an escape route or something. Everyone seems to be looking at me weird. 

“Donna!” 

I turn at the sound of my name being called and almost start crying over a familiar face. Chris is walking over to me with two drinks in his hands. “Thank God!” I say rushing over to him. “Please tell me one of those is for me.” 

“I thought you could use it. Are you okay with a white wine spritzer?” 

“I’m okay with anything with alcohol in it.” I confess and he chuckles. 

“You got deserted already?” 

“He got pulled into something.” I wave. “I don’t know anyone here. Ainsley was supposed to come with Sam, but she got held up at work.” 

“Well, you know me.” He smiles. “Just stay with me until Josh gets back. He might be a while.” 

“I didn’t want to come to this thing.” I say dropping my voice. “I feel very out of place.” 

“You’re not.” He assured. “You’re the most beautiful girl here.” He offers me his arm and I gladly accept. I mean, anything to look….like everyone else. 

“They’re all looking at me funny.” 

“It’s because all the same people come to these things.” Chris explained. “You showed up on the Deputy Chief of Staff’s arm and no one’s ever met you before.” 

“Are you telling me they think I’m a call girl!?” I practically shriek. His eyes widen a second then he smiles indulgently at someone over my shoulder. Guess I was a little loud there. 

“Well, I’m sure they don’t now.” He smiles stiffly. 

“Has Josh brought call girls to these things before?” 

“No.” Chris says. “And that’s not what I was saying. You’re mysterious to them. Josh doesn’t bring ANYBODY to these things. He hasn’t dated anyone in about three years now. They’re just trying to figure out who you are.” 

“I really don’t belong here.” I sigh. 

He smiles slowly at me and gives me a kind of odd look. “But you do.” I’m about to ask him what he means by that when I hear him say, “There’s our boy now.” He nods over to the entrance of this enormous ballroom, or great room, or whatever the filthy rich call these rooms, he grabs a drink off the tray of a passing waiter. He smiles at me, takes one step and is jumped by some young woman. 

“Oh Josh!” she gushes planting one on him. In his defense, he looks very surprised and politely extricates himself from her. “I was so happy when my father said you’d be here. I was so worried about you! You look wonderful! How are you feeling? My God, but I was a mess with worry that night. Dance with me now.” 

He throws back the entirety of his drink, looks at me apologetically and mouths, “Sorry.” I nod, I hope convincingly as I watch my date and the man I’ve started to come to consider my boyfriend, head off with another woman. 

“Chris…two questions.” I say turning back to Chris, who looks extremely interested at the scene we just saw. 

“That’s Sarah Wessinger.” He answers one of my unasked questions. “She’s the daughter of an extremely wealthy donor. She’s got something of a crush on Josh.” 

“And he’s not interested?” I conclude. 

“No!” He chuckles. “Sarah’s about 24 years old. Josh is definitely not interested. But he gives her a modicum of attention because she’s the daughter of a very wealthy donor.” 

“Oh.” I look over to the dance floor where Sarah still seems to be gushing over Josh, who looks like he’s trying to figure out how he can get away from her without insulting her or her father. 

“She’s…cute.” I say. 

“Yes, she’s very beautiful. Josh is very popular with the ladies. He’s single and one of the President’s top advisors, that’s really all you need to be in this town, and quite frankly, you don’t even need to be single.” 

I shake my head and wonder what the hell I’m doing here. I’ve only been in Washington not even three weeks. How did I get sucked into this life? I’m a college dropout from Wisconsin for crying out loud. I thought I’d get a job as a receptionist somewhere and go back to school, not end up rubbing elbows with Washington’s elite…and I mean, ELITE. The President of the United States is in this house right now somewhere. How is any of this me? 

“Um…I wanted to ask you another question.” 

“Shoot.” 

“About Josh.” 

“Aaagggh…” he says shaking his head. He obviously doesn’t want to get into this. 

“No, it’s nothing that’s going to ask you to betray the Brotherhood or anything like that.” 

“The Brotherhood.” 

“Is Josh always a heavy drinker?” I ask. “He had two drinks before he got pulled into that meeting, and I imagine another one or two in there, and he just had another.” 

“Yeah, that’s…” Chris says slowly. “No, he’s not. He’ll have a couple of beers every now and then, but even at these things, he doesn’t drink a lot, and he certainly isn’t a Scotch drinker.” 

“Really?” I glance back out to the dance floor where he’s looking at me helplessly. 

“I promise you, Donna, it’s really odd.” He rushes to assure me. “Josh is…well, he’s got a very high profile, stressful job. I can’t imagine the issues of national security he has to deal with, along with any number of things. I mean, who knows what happened today or what that meeting was about…” 

“Why do I get the feeling you don’t believe any of that?” I ask softly. 

Before he can answer, I feel a hand snake around my waist and Josh slides in front of me giving me a very soft kiss that I feel all the way down to my toes. “Come dance with me.” He whispers. 

“Okay.” I smile. 

Chris takes my drink from me, and I take note of the fact that he looks relieved to be out of that conversation. What is up with these guys? It’s hard to get a handle on their dynamic. 

He pulls me close on the dance floor and I smile up at him. “Everything okay?” I ask. 

“It is now.” He replies softly, but he looks a little pale and he looks like he’s sweating a bit. 

“It’s kind of warm in here.” I note. “Do you want to go outside?” 

“Yes.” He says immediately. As we move through the room, he’s liberated another drink and a glass of wine from a waiter and we head out onto the very large, multi-level patio where there’s other politicos smoking, drinking and talking in small groups. They nod and say hello to Josh as we pass and he takes me to the most secluded corner. “Hold these.” He says, holding the glasses out to me. I take them in my hands and he immediately shrugs out of his jacket and drapes it around my shoulders. It’s a tuxedo jacket, so it’s not very thick, but I feel instantly warm. 

“Thanks.” I smile, as he takes his drink and sips it. “Are you all right? You’re doing a bit of drinking tonight.” 

“I’m fine.” He says quickly. “This was a good idea, I needed to get out of there.” 

“Couldn’t handle the charms of Sarah Wessinger?” I smile. 

“Oh God!” he groans. “It was a duty dance.” He’s quick to launch into an explanation, but I cut him off. 

“I know.” I smile, dropping a finger on his lips. “Chris explained who she was.” 

“Unfortunately, that kind of stuff happens often at these things.” He apologizes. “I’m really glad you’re here, Donna. I know I got pulled away, but…” 

“It’s okay. You have to work, and Chris is here, so there’s a friendly face.” 

“The President got called back to the White House, so I’m stuck here longer.” 

“He didn’t need you?” 

“Not yet, I don’t know what’s going on. But some of us had to stay behind in his place. You look beautiful tonight.” He wraps his arm around me again and kisses me more deeply than just before. 

“I didn’t think you noticed.” I pout. 

“Oh, I noticed.” 

“I don’t really…” I trail off. 

“What?” 

“Nothing. It’s okay.” 

“No, it’s not. What?” 

“I don’t really feel like I belong here, Josh.” 

“I know. I’m sorry. These things suck. Want to get out of here?” 

“I thought you said you had to stay?” 

“I’ll make something up. Sam and Toby are here and they’ll cover me.” 

“You won’t get in trouble?” 

“Not really.” 

He takes my hand and leaves our drinks behind. We don’t even go back inside, but follow the garden path around front as Josh pulls out his phone, calls Sam and tells him I’m sick and he’s taking me home. Lovely. I get to be Yoko. But I really don’t care because I don’t want to be there anymore. 

Once we’re in his car and driving away, he looks over to me. “Do you want me to take you back to Ainsley’s? Do you want to go get a drink?” 

“We can go back to your place.” I say quickly. “I have a bag in the back seat.” 

“Okay.” He smiles. I look at the clock. It’s only 9:30 on a Saturday night. I smile and watch him drive. “What?” he smiles and asks. 

“Nothing.” I shrug. How did I get so lucky in this man? When we get to his building, he grabs my bag out of the back seat and comes around and opens my door. 

“Make yourself comfortable, I’m going to get changed.” He says when we get inside his apartment. I look around the living room and smile. It’s clean. 

“I’ll get changed, too.” I say moving to the bathroom. It takes me forever to get changed, get all this crap out of my hair and off my face. I know I’m a little presumptuous, but I put on pajama pants and a tank top. Not the most sexiest attire to stay over a man’s house, but he said he was going to get changed, so I’m thinking we’re not really calling it a night yet. 

I wander into the living room where Josh has drifted off to sleep on the couch. I’m thinking the effects of the Scotch are kicking in. Matt said he still kind of tires out easily, too. I smile softly and I’m about to cover him with a blanket when I notice that his t-shirt has come up a bit in his sleep and it’s exposing the bullet wound. This is the first time I’ve seen it. The only time we were shirtless, I was too busy kissing him to notice. 

I’m glad he’s asleep because tears spring to my eyes as I kneel down on the floor next to him to quietly study it closer. All the skin around it is pink, and there appears to be what’s left of some bruising. It looks like the stitches have only recently dissolved and it’s pink and a little purple and very angry looking. 

Looking at it though, I can’t help but think that but for the miracle of science, he’d be dead right now, and I’d have never met him. 

I lean over and kiss the offending mark lightly and when I pull back, I see out of the corner of my eye that he’s watching me. I wonder how long he’s been awake. I guess he probably was just closing his eyes. 

“Does it hurt?” I ask, not looking at him, but gently grazing my thumb over the scar. 

“No.” he answers softly. “It’s just sensitive still.” 

“What was it they said on t.v.? Two centimeters?” I ask, as my fingers continue to lazily glide over the wound. 

“That’s what I’m told.” 

“Two centimeters and we would have never met.” I run my hand from his side, up the center of his chest where I can feel the other scar through his t-shirt. I don’t ask him if I can see that one yet. I want him to be comfortable showing me on his own first, so I slide onto the couch next to him and he cradles me in his arms. I hook my leg over his hip and pull him above me and he kisses me deeply. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Donna makes me feel alive. I didn’t know what to expect when I opened my eyes and she was studying my scar like that. Most of me thought she was going to be repulsed by it, but I’m discovering that Donnatella Moss is a person with a lot of genuine compassion and I don’t think I’ve ever come across anyone like her. 

She lays back on the couch and just absorbs everything I’m doing to her. My hand slides under her shirt along her stomach and I take note that she’s braless. I slide my hand up further and she moans. She’s soft and smooth and she pulls her shirt over her head, so I do the same. We take a moment to look at each other and I’m thinking I got the better end of the deal, but she leans forward and places a kiss right over my heart, right on the surgical scar. 

I’m speechless by the intimacy of the moment. She looks back at me and I lose myself in her trusting eyes. There’s no pity there, just this innate compassion that I get swept up in. Everything feels better when I’m with her. I don’t hear the sirens or the screams. I don’t see emergency lights everywhere. There’s just her face and gentle touch. 

My mother thinks she was sent to me like some kind of angel. Don’t you love that? My Jewish mother thinks Donna’s some kind of angel. 

“Make love to me, Josh.” She whispers. I think she might be my angel, too. 

I kiss her breasts and her collarbone and she moans and moves beneath me. We slide the rest of our clothes off and I can tell by the look in her eyes that this time there really is no turning back. We’re going to take that last step where this thing between us moves from simple flirtation to something more serious and God I want that with her. She’s the only thing in my life that’s making sense right now. 

Every time I took a drink tonight, I felt Chris watching me. Thank God he wasn’t in the room with the donor to see the two I had in there. I feel like Matt, Chris, and Mike are making some kind of case study out of me and I can escape from that with Donna. 

I kiss my way down her silky skin and her fingers dig into my shoulders and she gasps as I settle myself between her legs and first make contact. She moves against my mouth and finally screams my name and the sounds she’s making drown out the dark sounds and images in my head as I kiss my way back up her body. 

She’s panting when I arrive back up by her head and her mouth latches onto mine, and that’s really hot because I’ve never had a girl kiss me after that. 

“Wait.” I say. “We need…” 

“I’m on the pill.” She shakes her head. I pause and look at her. The trust there is amazing. She’s known me two weeks and she trusts that I won’t pass anything on to her. My fingers link with hers and she squeezes and sighs as I slide slowly into her and bury my head in her shoulder as a shuddered breath escapes me. 

I’ve never made love to a woman without any sort of barrier between us and it’s sweet and like nothing I’ve ever felt in my life. Her legs and arms come around me and I stay there a moment and bask in the warmth of her body completely surrounding mine. I feel safe here. 

“Josh, did you fall asleep?” she snarks and I smile. I really think I’ve fallen head over heels in love with her. 

“No, I didn’t fall asleep.” I say and tickle her side a bit as she yelp and giggles. 

That movement on her part is all I need. I watch her eyes flutter shut as we find the perfect rhythm. My name is a sigh on her lips and it sounds like… well, not music because that isn’t a very pleasant sound to me lately, but it sounds like heaven. 

I stop as her orgasm shakes through her and smile over how beautiful she looks with her head thrown back and her cheeks flushed. She says my name and opens her eyes and they’re heavy with desire, so I move some more until I join her. 

We hold each other for a little while before she shifts a little to get more comfortable. She keeps her leg hooked around mine and keeps me inside her, which makes me happy because I like it here. I pull the blanket off the back of the couch and cover us up. I rest my head on one of her arms and her free thumb is gently trailing back and forth over the scar on my chest. 

Two centimeters and I never would have met her. 

I sigh and hug her close and bury my head in her chest and listen to her heart beat. It’s a soothing sound, enticing me to stay here awhile and get some sleep. I love it here. In her embrace, nothing bad can get me. It’s not dark and it’s not loud and it’s not scary. It is exactly what I need. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m abruptly awoken by Josh tearing away from me with a scream. His eyes are wide and his breathing his heavy. 

“Are you all right?” I sit up and rub his back. 

“I didn’t think it would… God, I thought it would be all right.” He says trying to get his breathing under control. It must have been some kind of bad dream. I wonder if the shooting gives him nightmares. It would give me nightmares for sure. 

I stroke his hair a little then kiss him on the forehead. “I’m going to get you something to drink.” I hop off the couch and haphazardly pull on his t-shirt as I move quickly to the kitchen. I throw a glance back to the living room as I pull out a glass and fill it up. Josh has got his palms pressed tightly to his eyes. 

Something is going on with this man and it’s breaking my heart. Something his friends have clearly noticed and are either trying to hide or deny. 

I move back to the couch and gently rub his back until he relaxes a bit and takes the glass out of my hand and drains it. 

“Thank you.” He whispers. 

“Are you better now?” I ask. 

He looks at me and he looks a little confused. He looks like he has no idea how to explain what’s going on. “Yeah, I…” 

“It’s okay.” I nod and smile, then lean in and kiss him. He latches onto me and it hurts a little, but I don’t protest. Whatever that dream was about has really affected him. 

I push the blanket away and straddle his lap. He buries his head in my chest as I slide down around him and he holds onto me tightly. I throw my head back when he starts kissing my neck and increase the cadence. 

The feeling of him inside me is amazing. I’ve never had sex like this before and I thought when I threw out there that I was on the pill that he’d still insist on a condom. I’ve never had sex without one, but he trusted me as I trusted him and now it feels so good, I can’t put words to it. He explodes into me as my body shudders around him and I bite my lip. I screamed his name last night, but this doesn’t seem like the same experience. 

We hold each other tightly as I realize I fell hard and fast for this man. I run my fingers through his hair and hope that I’m not becoming more attached to him than he is to me. Sherry’s little player comment has been proven wrong, and so I don’t feel like I might be some kind of passing fancy for him. I do really feel like he’s starting to care about me and I think those feelings of his could develop into love. 

He opens his eyes and looks up at me. “Hey.” He says softly. 

“Hey.” I smile back. He groans as I slowly slide off of him, immediately missing the warmth and security he brings to me. 

“I have a senior staff meeting this morning.” He says, pressing his palm to his eye. 

“Okay.” I nod. 

“I should probably bring you home now, but I’ll call you when it’s done?” he seems a little unsure of himself and I smile widely at him. 

“Can we spend the rest of the day together?” I ask. 

“That’d be great.” He smiles in return. 

“Okay then.” I agree. 

We get dressed and I gather my stuff together. We’re distracted a few times by a bunch of kissing, but he manages to get me home and walk me to my door. 

I can’t wait to tell Ainsley all about last night. I smile at him as I put my key in the lock and open the door and am immediately horrified by the sight that greets me in the living room. 

“Oh my God!” I yelp when I see some naked skin in the vicinity of the couch. I slam the door shut and clamp my hand over my mouth as I try to stifle my laughter and hear swearing and squealing from inside the apartment, as I assume Sam and Ainsley are scrambling to get dressed. 

I turn to let Josh in on what I just saw when I immediately lose my smile. He’s sitting on the floor with his elbows on his knees, clutching his head. 

“Josh?” I ask quietly and move to his side. It doesn’t occur to me that I should be afraid of him right now. He looks so….upset. 

“They won’t stop.” He whispers in a pained voice. I pry one of his hands loose and see that its shaking violently. I gently pull him to my chest and he clutches me tightly. I don’t know what ‘they’ is, but I think this is confirmation of what I’ve suspected for a little while now. I think Josh might have some lingering issues from the shooting. I know that was a nightmare this morning and he seemed fine just a few minutes ago. 

Until I slammed the door. 

And now I feel like shit. 

“You’re okay.” I say softly. “I’m right here with you and you’re just fine. Let’s go inside.” But he either doesn’t hear me or… I don’t know… because he doesn’t budge. 

The door to the apartment opens and Sam and Ainsley are standing there. Ainsley loses her smile, too, when she sees us on the hallway floor. 

“Call Matt.” I direct her softly. 

TBC


	7. Angels and Demons

“Josh?” I call his name softly because I don’t want to startle him but he doesn’t seem to hear me. I throw a look over at Sam and he nods in understanding. Josh isn’t going to senior staff. I wasn’t sure if Ainsley was exaggerating when she called me on the phone 20 minutes ago; now I know she wasn’t. “Hey, buddy, let’s go back to your place for a bit, okay?” 

I try not to make eye contact with Donna right now. There are a million questions in her eyes with a nice helping of concern layered on top of it. I can’t deal with her and Josh right now and unfortunately for her, Josh is my priority. 

“Matt?” He answers me this time, but he looks like he’s in a lot of pain and very disoriented. 

“Nice of you to join us.” I joke and see some color returning to his cheeks. “We’re going to head over to your place and take care of the raging headache it looks like you’re dealing with.” Josh nods and doesn’t say a word. Now that’s a little disturbing. Donna gets up and grabs her purse and bag. Oh, no. 

“Donna, I’ve got it. He’ll call you later when he’s feeling better.” I tell her. I might as well have saved my breath. 

“He won’t need to call me later, Matt, because I’ll be right there.” Donna smiled tightly. “Josh invited me over after work and since he’s not going in to work, he won’t mind my coming over now.” 

Josh just keeps staring ahead giving me no indication of his preferences on the subject. 

“Donna, maybe-" I try again. 

“Let’s get going, Matt.” Donna leans past me and gently takes Josh’s arm. “Come on, Joshua. We’re going home.” He follows her like a little boy. So much for my influence. 

Once I get some medicine in him, Donna gets him undressed and into bed before crawling into the bed with him and wrapping her arm around him. It looks like my friend is in strong, caring hands for the moment, which is a good thing, since someone is currently banging on his front door. 

“Agent Casper, what a surprise.” I drawl. 

“What are you doing here, Matt?” He hisses in a whisper shout. 

“You’ve caught us. Josh and I are having an affair. He asked me not to tell you because he wasn’t sure you’d understand.” I deadpan. Mike doesn’t seem to appreciate my humor. 

“This isn’t funny.” 

“No, it’s not, so cut the accusations and come on in to help me figure out what’s next.” I motion for him to follow me inside. Mike looks around curiously. 

“He’s in his bed asleep with the assistance of a migraine/sleeping pill.” I answer his unasked question and walk into Josh’s kitchen to make everyone some coffee. Once Ainsley called me, I went down the rest of the phone tree. 

“You don’t think we should take him to the emergency room or something?” Mike asks. 

“Hell, I don’t know.” I throw my hands up in the air. “The doctor cleared him to return to work, so I don’ think what we’re dealing with here is medical.” 

We break up our conversation momentarily to let Chris in. When we all have some caffeine in our system the debate begins. 

“He needs to go to the emergency room.” Mike decides. 

“Crap.” Is the well worded response from Congressman Wick. Can you believe this guy went to Harvard? Me neither. 

“I have more than a little experience in this area, and I’m telling you that there can be some serious psychological trouble after someone has been involved in a shooting and Josh almost died.” 

“I’m aware of the circumstances. Are you aware of what’s going to happen to him professionally if it comes out he’s getting psychological help? His career is over!” Chris expounds. 

“Better his career is over than his life.” Mike counters. “Sometimes, people get suicidal.” 

“Josh is NOT suicidal.” Chris argues. 

“Not yet.” Mike shoots back. 

“Okay children, to your corners.” Sometimes, these guys just need a referee. “Let’s take first things first. We get him to see a medical doctor. We rule that stuff out first. Then, if he’s still having…trouble, we see about getting him some…other kinds of help.” I’m reluctant to use the words psychological or emotional. I’m gay but I’m still a guy. “Now…who’s going to risk life and limb and make him go to the doctor?” Mike and Chris both wave that off right away. We all had experiences in trying to get Josh to a medical appointment or therapy during his recovery. None of us is anxious to repeat the experience. “Come on, somebody has to get him to the doctor.” 

“I think that would be me.” Comes Donna’s quiet voice from the doorway. Mike shoots up like a Jack-in-the-box. 

“What is she doing here?” He jerks a thumb at Donna. 

“She can hear you, you dope.” Chris swats at him. 

“She was with him when it happened and came back with me to help take care of Josh.” I explain. “Is he asleep?” 

“Sound asleep; not even twitch.” She replies. “You think he’s having a relapse or something?” 

“We don’t know.” Mike answers cagily. Mike still doesn’t trust the blonde yet. 

“We think it’s a good place to start.” I expound and she nods and then hesitates, like she’s not sure of her footing with this group. “What is it, Donna?” I ask gently and pull out a chair for her to join us. Chris pours her a coffee. 

“He had a nightmare last night; a really bad one.” She tells us, but she’s only looking at me. “And I think he’s been having cluster headaches that seem to be related to noise or loud sounds.” 

“Cluster headaches?” Mike repeats doubtfully. Yeah, there’s no trust here. 

“The guy I used to live with was in medical school. I helped him study all the time. Yes, cluster headaches resulting from auditory stimulus.” She says sarcastically. Time for the referee again. 

“When did you notice them starting?” I ask. 

“The first night we went to dinner. At the end of the meal he got a bad headache after the music started.” Donna reports. “Does he have a regular doctor he goes to? Is there a specialist he should see given the circumstances?” 

“We’ll take care of it.” Mike is quick to tell her. 

“Oh, you’re going to take him?” She asks with eyebrows raised. Look out, Mike, it’s a trap. 

“Ummm…sure. Sure I will.” Mike says with false bravado causing Chris and I to laugh out loud. “I’m a trained F.B.I. agent. I can get him to the doctor.” 

“I don’t think you can hold a gun to his head to get him there, Michael.” I note. 

“You’ve got a better way?” Mike asks belligerently. 

“I do.” Donna volunteers. 

“Which is?” Mike inquires. 

“Simple. I withhold sex.” Donna answers and Chris spews coffee everywhere. 

“That could work.” I nod in agreement and share a smile with Donna. 

“I think you’re missing the point.” Mike mutters. 

“What point is that?” I ask. 

“That we’re trying to keep this…” Mike sends a frustrated look at Donna. “I’m sorry, but would you excuse us for a minute?” 

“No.” Donna shakes her head. “If this involves Josh, it involves me too.” 

“This is a big mistake.” Mike warns us before getting up and leaving. I know, of course, what he was getting at. He’s afraid Donna might spill something to someone she shouldn’t about Josh’s condition. That’s not my concern. Donna has proven herself to be a person I can trust with confidential information around the office. She doesn’t gossip; at least not about important stuff and she’s got a solid brain in that beautiful head of hers. She seems to care a lot about Josh. If she didn’t, why would she insist on coming back here to deal with this very difficult situation? 

No, Donna is in this for the long haul. Josh is lucky to have her in his life. Mike, being a suspicious guy by nature, just naturally circles the wagons when someone in his life is in trouble. 

“Mike is just trying to protect Josh.” Chris offers. 

“He doesn’t need to protect him from me.” Donna points out. 

“He’ll figure that out.” I assure her. “You sure you want to tackle getting him to the doctor on your own?” 

“I think that would work best. If I run into trouble, I’ll let you know.” She promises. 

“Okay, then I’m out of here.” Chris leans down to kiss Donna’s cheek after he stands up to go. “You’re a classy dame, Donnatella.” She smiles a bit. 

“You’re a good friend, Chris.” She returns the compliment. When it’s just the two of us, she looks up at me sadly. “You can take off too, Matt. I’ll be staying the rest of the weekend.” 

“I never doubted it.” I crack a grin. “But if Himself is going to be out of it for a few hours, it’s going to be pretty quiet and lonely around here. Why don’t we turn on a movie or something to pass the time until he wakes up?” 

She nods her agreement and I find the movie with the least amount of death and destruction amid Josh’s collection. We sit side by side on the couch to watch, but Donna is uncharacteristically quiet and when I look over at her I see two tears slipping down her cheek. I pull her closer to me and put my arm around her. 

“He’s going to be okay, Donna. We’ll take care of him.” I promise. 

“I hope so Matt, because I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen in love with him.” She admits. Well…damn. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“God, I take a nap for a couple hours and you move in on my woman?” I ask. 

“Josh!” Donna jumps up from being tucked into Matt’s side on my couch and hurries around to gently hug me. “How are you feeling?” She runs her hand over my forehead like she’s checking for fever. 

“Much better, thanks. Sorry I worried you.” 

“That’s okay. I’m just glad you’re feeling better.” She smiles and I have to lean in to kiss her. 

“Well, since Sleeping Beauty is awake. I’ll be on my way.” Matt beats a hasty retreat. “You’ll call if you need anything?” He asks on his way to the door. 

“Sure. I need to check in with work.” I sigh. 

“Talk to Sam first.” He advises me. “He was going to take care of things at that end.” I think that’s code for ‘see what excuse Sam gave for your absence before you contradict him’. 

“Thanks, Matt, I will. Bye.” He looks back at us once more before he leaves and he seems to share some silent communication with Donna. What is that about? 

“Thanks for staying with me.” I tell her. 

“I was happy to. But I’m happier now that you’re awake.” She leads me over to the couch and after sitting me down there, makes herself comfortable on my lap. “Are you hungry?” 

“I could eat.” I decide but I really don’t want to go out in public. “How about I order in some Chinese?” 

“That sounds great.” She agrees and then hesitates. “Will you do something for me?” 

“Sure.” 

“I’m really worried about all these headaches you’ve been having.” She explains. “Will you just let a doctor check it out and make sure everything is okay?” 

“Donna, I’m still adjusting to being back at work, we’ve got one headache after another there. I work in a very stressful environment. It’s hardly surprising that I’m having a few headaches.” Notice how I completely left out recovering from attempted murder? I think she did too. 

“Please?” Donna pouts; shit, not the pout. 

“Donna --” 

“I dare you.” Well…damn. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Joshua Lyman, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” I slam into his office. Its handy having a cousin who can get you an all access pass to the White House; especially when that’s where your boyfriend works. 

“Donna?!” Yeah, he’s surprised, he’s even standing up at his desk. Ha! 

“Tell me this isn’t some White House, bullshit, intimidation move, making my boss come up here tonight at the eleventh hour over the Marriage Recognition Act!” 

“Donna, just hold on--” Josh puts his hands up in a calming gesture but I’m in no mood to be calmed. This is just crap. Not only does this mean the White House is messing with Members of Congress over this, but we were supposed to go to a very swanky restaurant tonight for a late dinner. I bought a smoking red dress ad everything! 

“I will not hold on.” I’m on a roll now. “If you have a legitimate issue you’d like to discuss with Congressman Skinner about a bill going to the floor, you should do it during business hours and days before, not hours before, the vote is called.” I take a deep breath. “You better not be yanking Matt’s chain on this.” 

“Actually, I’m yanking Matt’s chain on this.” Oh. God. That wasn’t Josh. It sounded kind of like… 

“Donna Moss, I’d like to introduce the President of the United States, Josiah Bartlet.” Josh says tongue in cheek. Who needs a red dress? My entire body is bright red right now. “Mr. President, Donna Moss is a research assistant for Congressman Skinner.” 

“And a very fierce and loyal employee she is. It’s nice to meet you Ms. Moss.” President Bartlet offers his hand. I shakily accept it. Wait until my family hears about this. “Wait a second, is this the amazing individual who has been able to lure my Deputy Chief of Staff out of the office for healthy food as well as rest and relaxation?” 

“Indeed it is, sir.” Josh smiles. “She is singularly responsible for my lowered blood pressure as well.” He snarks. Yes, I got him to the doctor, who could find no medical reason to explain the headaches and other symptoms, but did tell us his blood pressure had lowered a bit. When he gave me shit for worrying over nothing because he was even healthier than the last time he’d been to the doctor, I mentioned that his improved health was a direct result of his improved diet. 

“A paragon of virtue to be sure. I’m leaving for Portland later today, but when I return, I want you and Josh to join Abby and me some evening for dinner.” He offers. 

“I’d be honored, sir.” I squeak and he turns to leave. 

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Donna. Don’t be too hard on this one here.” He motions to Josh. “He’s just following the orders of his Commander in Chief.” 

“Yes, sir. Have a good trip.” He gives me a smile and a jaunty salute as he leaves. Donna Moss, a college drop out from Madison Wisconsin, just had a conversation with the President of the United States…and made a fool of herself. Someone obviously has to pay for that. 

“Joshua. Lyman.” I growl. 

“I tried to stop you.” He defends himself. “I tried to stop you twice, but you just wouldn’t listen.” 

“You should have tried harder.” I tell him. “You’ve had no trouble getting me to shut up at other times when we’ve been arguing!” 

“Yeah, but only when I kiss you and I thought doing that in front of the President would be a strategic error.” 

“You got that right.” I mutter. “I am SO embarrassed.” 

“You shouldn’t be. He’ll be telling that story all night to the press traveling with him to Portland.” 

“The press?!” 

“Hey, I’m the one who’s going to come out looking henpecked and ridiculous!” He protests. 

“Henpecked?” 

“Okay, see, that might have been a poor choice of words.” He smirks. I narrow my eyes. 

“Are you doing this tonight to put Matt in a corner?” 

“I’m not discussing White House strategy with you on this, Donna.” He walks back to his desk. “I need to speak to Congressman Skinner tonight about the vote. That’s that. I’m sorry it interferes with our plans, but it’s not like you didn’t know going into this that sometimes this happens with my job.” 

I look at him closely. I can’t tell if he’s telling me the truth or not. That really bothers me. I’ve had the feeling lately that he’s trying to avoid me. No, that’s not right. It isn’t avoidance, it’s more like he’s distancing himself from me. He’s still getting the headaches, only sometimes he won’t admit it. He doesn’t spend the night with me anymore. He’ll hold me for awhile after we make love, but then he makes some excuse and leaves. He takes great pains to make sure we’re at Ainsley’s apartment for these rendezvous, so he has an exit strategy. Since Ainsley seems to spend most nights at Sam’s, we have the place to ourselves. 

“I understand about your work, Josh. I have never complained about it before.” 

“No, but it gets old for some women after awhile, and your little speech just now sounded more like someone who was pissed about missing a fancy dinner than the debate over a bill.” He says in an offhanded way and it cuts me to the quick. 

“You think I’m complaining about a dinner?” I say quietly. 

“I think how I handle a bill with your boss isn’t any of your business.” Ouch again. 

“I see.” I nod. “Then I should let you get back to your business.” I keep it together until I get to Ainsley’s office. Luckily she’s alone. 

“Donna? What’s wrong?” 

“Josh just…I don’t know what just happened. We were just talking and then all of a sudden…” 

“Donna?” 

“He just turned on me like…like I was somebody else.” I sputter and manage to tell her the story. She’s very sympathetic and sweet, but she doesn’t have any answers for me either. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Shit. I can’t believe I just did that! What the hell is wrong with me? Donna Moss, the best thing to happen to my life in…forever , just left here in tears because I lashed out at her. About what? A dinner? A bill? It makes no sense. I heard myself saying the words and winced as I said them, but I couldn’t stop myself either. It’s like a pod person took over my body; my mouth mostly. 

I just sit in depression for a few minutes and then pick up the phone and call her cell. She doesn’t answer; big shock. Maybe that’s lucky for me. I can just leave a groveling message. 

“Donna? It’s me….uh, Josh…I just called to say that I, uh, I mean it’s pretty obvious that I…God, it’s hard to believe the President of the United States hired me to articulate his agenda, isn’t it? Look…I have no excuse. I was out of line and I’m really sorry. This meeting with Matt…it’s really hard when our jobs interfere with our friendship and that makes me really tense. I’m…I’m so sorry, about what I said and about cancelling our dinner. If you’ll let me, I’ll make it up to you…Bye.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Josh, I came here as a friend. I think you know that.” I tell him. 

“What does that have to do with it?” He asks. 

“I came here 'cause I came here. Look. This is gonna be a law whether the President vetoes it or not. They have the votes in the Senate to override it.” 

“The Senate's not in session.” He reminds me. Like I need it. He does a double take looking through his doorway, but continues his thought. “The President could stick this in his pants pocket and it's vetoed.” 

“And it will come back in January and you will have to live through this twice. And you will lose both times.” I point out. I hate going against Josh. 

“Just a second.” He tells me and walks over to the doorway. “Donna? What the hell are you doing here?” Donna is indeed in the building and her sexy little red dress is getting lots of attention in the bullpen. 

“You invited me to dinner.” She replies saucily. 

“I told you I had to cancel the reservation because of this thing.” He motions to me. 

“But you left me a message saying you’d make it up to me, so I just called the restaurant back and moved the reservation back a few hours. They were kind of snotty about it at first until I dropped your name. You must be kind of a big deal around here because they switched it right away for you.” She shrugs. Josh is trying to get his head around this information which has to be tough given that all the blood in his head has certainly moved southward while ogling Donna in that dress. That’s when it occurs to Josh that he’s not the only one ogling Donna. 

“Get in here.” He orders and wonder of wonders, she complies. He gives the guys outside his door a glare and shuts it firmly in their faces. “Did you do this on purpose?” He asks me. 

“Did I do what on purpose?” I ask back. 

“This!” He points to Donna. “Did you send Donna over here dressed like this to distract me?” 

“Joshua!” Donna objects. 

“No, but it’s a strategy I may employ in the future.” I say wryly. 

“Matt!” He shouts. 

“Ask me the question.” I invite him. 

“He compared homosexuality to kleptomania and sex addition, Matt.” This pains Joshua Lyman, I can tell. 

“Yes.” 

“The Majority Leader. The leader of your own party.” He emphasizes. 

“He was wrong and I told him so.” I point out. 

“For cryin' out loud!” Between this emotional argument and Donna dressed like sex on a stick, the poor man is truly flummoxed. 

“Ask me the question, Josh!” I nearly shout. 

“How can you be a member of this party?!?” 

“You've been holding that in for way too long, man.” I tell him. 

“This party who says that who you are is against the law.” 

“You know, I never understand why you gun control people don't all join the N.R.A. They've got two million members. You bring three million to the next meeting... call a vote...All those in favor of tossing guns - Bam! Move on.” 

“That's a heck of a strategy, Matt. I'll bring that up in a meeting.” Josh flops down into his chair, facing away from Donna who’s looking back and forth between us like she’s at a Championship tennis match. 

“I agree with 95% of the Republican platform. I believe in local government. I'm in favor of individual rights rather than group rights. I believe free markets lead to free people and that the country needs a strong national defense. My life doesn't have to be about being a homosexual. It doesn't have to be entirely about that.” I try to explain. 

“Josh?” Donna cuts in and he looks over at her. “You’re done here. Let Matt go home and I’ll take you to dinner.” Josh thinks that offer over for a minute and then stands up. 

“Thanks for coming by.” He tells me and shakes my hand. 

“Thanks for the beer. Have fun at dinner. Donna, you look marvelous!” I kiss my fingers together like a master Chef whose creation has outdone his wildest dreams. Her face blooms into an amazing smile. Poor Josh. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ready?” She asks me. 

“I need to call the President first.” I explain. 

“I’ll wait outside.” She offers and she’s almost out the door when I remember the wolves outside. 

“No! You stay here. Stay right here. I’ll call him from Sam’s office.” I decide. I have my hand on the door when I remember to tell her something. 

“You look incredible in that dress.” I tell her honestly. “Going back to the store tomorrow?” I tease. She’s already admitted her catch and release policy when it comes to expensive dresses. 

“Josh…We’ve discussed this. I can’t afford this stuff yet.” She huffs. 

“I’ll pay for it.” I offer and her eyes go wide with surprise. “I owe you for before and I really want to see you in that dress again.” 

“I’ll think about it.” She smiles. “But the dress alone isn’t getting you out of the doghouse.” 

“Never doubted it for a second.” I call over my shoulder. 

TBC


	8. Angels and Demons

“So, I just got off the phone with your man.” Matt announces emerging from his office and walking over to my desk. I see Sherry roll her eyes when Matt refers to Josh as ‘my man.’ I’ve recently discovered that Sherry is one of the many women in Washington looking to get my man into bed. I don’t blame these women. He is quite something. 

“And?” I ask. 

“Every year, I host Thanksgiving, but Josh never comes because he goes to his mother’s.” 

“You cook?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous; I get it catered.” 

“Okay.” 

“Anyway, after the events of recent where his mother lived with him for a while, there seems to be a mutual understanding that his mom should go on that cruise for Thanksgiving that she’s always wanted to.” He chuckles. 

“They don’t want to see each other?” I smile as I see Mike Casper enter the office. I immediately lose my smile. This guy hates me. 

“They could use the break this year.” Matt spins. 

“And so why are you telling me this?” 

“I’m assuming you’re not flying back to Wisconsin.” 

“That’s a big 10-4.” I say and Matt smiles. Josh is definitely rubbing off on me. 

“Well, when I told this all to Josh he said to ask you what you two were doing.” 

“He did?” I smile again and look at Matt. “He said that?” 

“He did.” 

“Well, it sounds like fun.” I say. It does. I like hanging out with Matt and Josh obviously wants to go, and since he was so considerate of me, I can’t say no. “Count us in. Who else will be there?” 

“Mike, Chris and a few other strays.” Matt says. 

“I’ll bring that canned crap.” Mike says. 

“Dude, you bring that shit every year, and every year I tell you I get this thing catered.” Matt says to him. 

“Well, I don’t want to come empty handed.” 

“Bring beer.” 

Then Mike turns to me. He looks like he’s going to say something relatively unfriendly again, and really, I’m just not in the mood today. 

“Donna…” he starts. 

“Look, Mike, you don’t like me and I get that.” I start. 

“That’s not true.” He says quickly. 

“Yeah? Well, you’re doing a pretty good impression of someone that doesn’t like me.” I shoot back. 

“Hey guys…” Matt tries to referee, but too bad. I think Mike and I need to get a few things straight. 

“I do like you, Donna. I like you a lot.” He says. 

“You just think I’m bad for Josh.” I shoot back and Matt throws his hands up in the air. 

“I absolutely do not.” He replies and now I’m looking at him with interest, too. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well, you’ve done a pretty good job of fooling me.” Donna says and sits down at her desk. 

“I don’t think you’re bad for Josh.” Mike elaborates. “In fact, I think you’re great for him, but I don’t think a relationship is good for him right now, with ANYBODY, it’s not just you.” 

“Oh well, then.” She says. “I guess you’re in a tough spot there, huh? What to do with the girl who actually CARES about him.” 

Mike sighs deeply and is about to jump back into the fray when we suddenly hear from behind us, 

“What the hell is this?” 

We should really get a bell for Josh I think. 

“Nothing.” Donna and Mike mumble and look away from each other. 

“Well, that’s not what it sounded like.” He prods. 

“It’s nothing.” I say. “Come on inside.” I have to physically pull him into my office, where I quickly shut the door. 

“What’s going on?” He demands. “Don’t leave her out there with him like that.” 

“Josh, what do you think he’s going to do? He’s one of your best friends.” I reply. 

“Why doesn’t he like Donna?” 

“If you heard the whole conversation, Josh, you’d have heard that he does like Donna.” 

“That’s not what it sounded like.” 

“They’re having a difference of opinion. Look, Donna’s quite obviously crazy about you, but we’ve all been friends forever and she’s trying to navigate that and Mike’s just trying to get used to someone else having your attention. You can’t get in the middle of it. If you want Donna to stick around, and I know you do, and you want Mike to stick around, and I know you do, you have to let them work it out on their own. Donna can handle Mike. She’s doing beautifully.” 

He looks apprehensively at the door and I can tell he wants to bust through it and save his girl, but instead, he wisely sits down. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Great. Just freaking great.” I mumble when I see the door closed. The Spanish Inquisition will be emerging from there soon. Mike sighs and runs a hand down his face. I wonder if Josh got that from Mike or Mike got that from Josh. 

I don’t hate Mike; I really don’t. We just don’t know each other and we obviously have very different opinions on Josh. Plus, I’m the newcomer here. Mike and Josh are obviously more than friends, they’re buddies and sometimes that’s harder. 

“It’ll be fine.” He says waving his hand at the closed door. 

“Sure, for you because you’re going to leave.” I reply. “He’s going to make me explain this and I’m not going to lie to him, Mike.” 

He looks at me for a moment, then pulls a chair up by my desk, sits down and leans forward. This is interesting. He’s sitting down on my level here to get his point across. That’s definitely a point in his favor. 

“Listen,” he says, dropping his voice so Sherry can’t hear. “I meant what I said. Josh is larger than life; he always has been. The guy is a giant and I’ve recently discovered bullet proof. He and I are more alike than Matt and Chris are.” 

“I can see how important he is to you, Mike.” I say. “But I love him, and I can’t help that. I can’t help at what point in his life he was when I came into it. It’s all chance. Maybe I was supposed to meet him now. He’s having problems and I know you’re concerned, but I’m not the enemy here, whatever is devouring him inside is.” 

“Josh bounces back, he always has. But he can’t seem to get away from this.” I can see the fear in his eyes and it’s the closest I’m going to get to an admission and an apology. Mike’s the tough one and he’s not ready to let an outsider in yet, but at least we seem to have a better understanding of each other now. 

The door flies open as I assume Josh has had all he could take of not being out here. He arches an eyebrow as he sees where Mike’s sitting. It’s not that Mike’s at an in any way inappropriate distance from me, he’s just in a friendly position. 

“See?” Matt says clapping Josh on the shoulder. “Still alive.” 

“You wanna…” Josh says to me, nodding his head to the door. 

“Okay.” I smile. I look over at Matt. “It’s okay?” 

“Yeah. I just need the rest of that research I asked for before you leave today.” Matt says. 

“All right. I’ll be back in a little bit.” 

I grab my coat and shrug into it, as Josh takes my hand and leads me out of the office without saying goodbye. 

He doesn’t say a word until we’re outside on the street. “You okay?” he asks. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I smile. 

“Don’t let Mike bother you.” He says as he switches his back pack to the other shoulder and retakes my hand. 

“He doesn’t. Is your side bothering you again?” 

“It’s getting stiff.” 

“I could come over and give it a nice massage tonight.” I say leaner closer and dropping the tone of my voice. 

“That could be…um…nice.” He squeaks. He’s so cute when he squeaks. 

“Maybe we can order in and make a night of it. You do have that big roomy Jacuzzi tub.” 

His eyes widen a bit and he smiles slightly. “I do, yes, that’s true.” 

“Call me when you’re leaving and I’ll meet you over there.” 

“Maybe I should get you your own key.” He looks away and I can tell how nervous he is about throwing that suggestion out there. 

“That would certainly make things more convenient, yes.” I say, and he looks back at me and smiles. “Of course, I wouldn’t want to intrude at the wrong time.” 

“What? You’re going to walk in on me having sex with you?” he quips. 

“Well, when you put it that way…” 

“What were you and Mike fighting about?” He changes the subject. Damn, he’s good. 

I stop walking and turn him to me. “He’s a very good friend, Josh, and he’s just looking out for you.” 

“God, not this again.” He groans turning away. I drop his hand and let him have his distance. We’re out on the Mall, and away from everyone else, so I’m not too concerned about being overheard. “I can’t stand it, Donna. I can see it when they look at me.” 

“See what, Josh?” 

“I don’t know, but they’re…” 

“Concerned about you?” 

“Why?” he challenges. 

“Josh,” I drop my voice and step back to him. “You’ve been having nightmares and headaches and you’re easily irritable and you’re drinking a lot…” 

“You’re my girlfriend, not my mother, Donna.” 

The tears spring to my eyes and I nod my head, then turn and start walking away from him. This is exactly the way things were with my last boyfriend and exactly why I was so nervous about starting a relationship with Josh. 

“Donna!” He runs around in front of me. I try to get by him, but he blocks me. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I sniff and try to wipe the tears away. I don’t want him to see me cry, but I can’t stop it. It just hurts. Sometimes the things he says really hurt. He wipes away the tears with his thumbs and kisses my forehead. “Baby, I don’t know where that came from. I love that you care enough about me to be concerned, I swear I do.” 

All I can do is nod at his apology. His arms come around me and hold me tightly to his chest as I continue to cry and compose myself. As I begin to calm down, I hear his heart beat and I’m reminded that those things he says aren’t him. His closest friends are just as confused by all this and that I love him, so I’m going to fight to help him. 

“Are you okay?” He asks as I finally pull away and wipe my eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I guess I just have a thin skin.” 

“I don’t mind.” He smiles. “It’s sweet. And I’m the one that’s sorry, Donna. I just… I don’t know where that stuff comes from. Sometimes I can’t stop it. I just get…frustrated.” 

“I think you should consider talking to someone.” I say in a shaky breath. 

“Yeah. I can’t do that.” he says. He picks his backpack up and takes my hand again as we continue along the Mall. 

“Why?” 

“Because I’m the President’s top domestic policy adviser, Donna. I have high visibility that doesn’t come with that kind of luxury.” 

“Okay.” I say softly, conceding the battle, but not the war. 

I’m taken off guard when he turns and kisses me. It’s a nice kiss and I wish it could lead to more, but we’re in public. “Thanks though.” He says softly when he pulls away. I smile widely because kissing him always makes me goofy, and as he steps away, I pull him back to me by his coat and kiss him some more. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I open the door to my apartment and smile. The candlelight glow fills the living room and the smell of something tasty for dinner surrounds me. The first thing I notice is that there’s no music playing. I would have thought that a scene of seduction like this would have music, but this is Donna’s thing, so I won’t complain. 

I drop my backpack and coat on the red chair in the corner that both Donna and Matt think is ugly and hear a splash coming from the bathroom. I strip off my clothes along the way to the bathroom where I find her smiling and crooking her finger at me. I waste no time joining her. 

The water is so warm and inviting and when I’m comfortable, she starts digging her hands into my achy side. I hiss at first, but it feels really good, so I lean forward and let her work. 

It’s the perfect ending to a crappy day. You wouldn’t think so much was going on the day before Thanksgiving, other than CJ being pissed that there were turkeys in her office and accusing us of slacking, but it was just a long, crummy day. But this is just what I need and I groan against her hands. 

Finally, she’s done and she pulls me back against her. I lie against her chest and close my eyes, as she runs her fingers through my hair. I don’t need a shrink. I can get by with this just fine and eventually, everything else will work itself out on its own. I just need time. 

TBC


	9. Angels and Demons

“I’d like your advice.” She announces and my partner looks over at me like she’s a terrorist. 

“Its okay, Tommy, Ms. Moss is here for personal reasons.” I explain. Not many people barge into F.B.I. offices. “Can you give us a minute?” Tommy nods and leaves but he keeps his eyes on Donna the whole time. She is looking good. No wonder Josh is so whipped. 

“You’re asking for MY advice?” I repeat once she’s gone. 

“Yes...reluctantly.” She answers and sits down across from me. 

“This is going someplace hysterical.” I mutter. “Go ahead.” 

“Josh said something the other day and I’m trying to figure out if it’s accurate or if it’s just, you know, Josh.” 

“Okay.” I nod. “What was it?” 

“I suggested he might want to talk to someone, like, professional about the effects from the shooting.” She mentions. 

“I thought he went to the doctor with you?” 

“He did. I meant a…psychologist or a psychiatrist.” 

“Donna…” 

“I’ve been doing some research, Mike, and some of the symptoms he’s experiencing are not uncommon for victims of gun violence.” 

“Do you think I’m unaware of that?” I ask her. 

“Then you have to help me convince him to see someone; to get some help.” 

“He can’t.” I tell her simply. 

“He needs help, Mike. The nightmares, the headaches, these…episodes, they’re scaring me. They’re scaring him!” She’s getting pretty worked up. 

“Are they getting worse?” 

“I don’t know. I don’t think he’s being entirely honest with me, Mike.” She says sadly. “And sometimes he just lashes out at me for no reason. I may not have known him for very long, but I know that’s not him.” 

“No, it isn’t.” I agree. “But you don’t understand how things work here, Donna. He’s got enemies, on both sides of the aisle that are just waiting for something like this to come along so they can pounce on him. He’ll be ruined in this town; in this business. And this business? It’s all he’s ever wanted to do for as long as I’ve known him.” 

“So he was right when he said he couldn’t see a psychologist?” She asks. 

“I’m afraid so.” 

“It’s so unfair, Mike.” She complains and she starts to cry. “He did nothing to deserve this. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time in the service of the President. It’s not his fault!” 

“God, stop, don’t cry.” I quickly retrieve a box of Kleenex and hand them to her. “I know it’s not fair, but if we want to help Josh, protect him, we can’t let his enemies see any weakness that they can exploit. We can do that for him, Donna.” 

“WE? You and me, we?” She confirms. 

“I figure between you and me we can keep an eye on him 24/7. I can cover things here at work, and you can cover…other times outside of work...and overnight.” I manage to get that out but I’m sure my face is red because Donna’s lips twitch. 

“You mean when we’re making passionate love in his four poster bed on the satin sheets that-“ 

“Stop!” I beg her. “I’m going to need mind bleach now.” I complain. “I’m just saying we can help him get through this…together.” 

“Thanks, Mike. That helps a lot.” She smiles and kind of bats her eyes and I see why Josh is so set on keeping her in his life. She is a beautiful woman, yeah, but she’s also smart, and sweet. Deciding to come here and ask for my help couldn’t have been easy either, but she did it…for Josh. I’m still not sure this is a good time for him to be getting into a relationship, but it appears that ship has sailed, so as his friend, I guess my job now is to do whatever I can to help make it work. “Are you going to Matt’s for Thanksgiving?” 

“Yeah…but I never know what to bring.” I whine. 

“Well, I’m going to make pies. What’s your favorite?” 

Seriously? The woman bakes pies? “Uhhhh…Pecan?” 

“Okay, Pecan pie coming up. What’s Josh’s favorite?” she asks. 

“He eats anything…although I’ve noticed he’s making healthier choices lately.” Hey if she can make my favorite pie, I can give her kudos on getting Josh to eat decent food. She acknowledges the compliment with another smile. 

“He’s going to know we talked, you know.” She notes. 

“So we tell him we talked about his pitiful obsession with the Mets.” I shrug. 

“That will work.” She decides and gets up to leave. “Thanks again, Mike.” 

“Anytime, Donna.” I tell her. And damned if I don’t mean it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Donna Moss.” I stand up as soon as I hear the voice. I didn’t know President Bartlet could be so sneaky. Then I look up from the newspaper I was reading and notice the Secret Service surrounding us. 

“Mr. President. I’m sorry sir, I was engrossed in the article I was reading and didn’t notice you come in.” I’m sitting in Josh’s office while he takes a meeting in the Roosevelt room, then we’re supposed to head over to Matt’s. 

“Never apologize for being engrossed in the written word, Ms. Moss. Not enough people take the time to read up on current events and get a thorough understanding of complex subjects that are so important to all our citizens. What are you reading about?” he asks. 

“Hemlines are going back up.” I quip and see his eyes widen in surprise. 

“Well, I suppose that’s important too…to, to, to…I don’t know…clothes manufacturers or something..” Too funny. I made the President stutter. 

“I’m just kidding, sir. I was reading about this situation with the Chinese refugees. It seems to be a subject of great debate on the op/ed pages today.” 

He almost seems to sigh with relief that he doesn’t need to complete his non-sensical reasoning of hemlines. “Yes, it certainly does. Our relationship with China has always been very complex and this is just adding another layer of issues to deal with.” 

“I guess that’s why they pay you the big bucks, sir. How do you begin to weigh the human cost in this situation against the policies of United States and China?” I ask and then realize he may think I’m expecting an answer. “Mr. President, I was just being rhetorical, sir.” 

“It’s a very good question, Donna. And I’ll tell you this; it’s something I struggle with daily. I trust my people to gather all the relevant information and then I make the best decision I can.” 

“I know Josh takes that responsibility very seriously.” I add. 

“I know he does, Donna.” The President assures me. “How has he been…if you don’t mind me asking, and ignore me if you do, but Josh means a lot to me…is he doing okay?” 

I hesitate. I don’t want to lie to the President, but I don’t want to share Josh’s personal information with the President of the United States without his permission either. “Well…I think when a person has been through all that Josh has been through, the road to recovery has lots of ups and downs. He loves being back at work and he’s surrounded by people who care about him very much, so all in all, I think he’s doing okay.” 

President nods. “Well said, Donna. From your lips to God’s ears…Tell me, what would you do about the Chinese refugees?” 

“I couldn’t send them back, sir,” I shudder at that thought. 

“Our laws are very clear about the conditions under which they could stay.” The President points out. 

“But you’re the President, sir, surely you can find a way to do what’s right.” I comment. 

“Mr. President, I’m sorry sir. I didn’t know you were coming over.” Josh interrupts us. 

“I was restless and decided to take a walk.” The President explains. “Walk with me and give me a quick update. Then you can take this lovely woman to Thanksgiving dinner. I hope you’re suitably thankful to have her in your life?” 

“Not nearly thankful enough, sir.” Josh smirks. “But I’m working on it. I’ll be right back, Donna.” 

“Happy Thanksgiving, Donna.” 

“Happy Thanksgiving to you Mr. President.” I call out. I’m getting better at all this. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re late.” Matt grouses at me while he takes Donna’s hands in his and kisses her cheek. 

“I had actual, you know, work to do. The Federal Government never closes.” I explain. 

“Yeah, it was amazing how those emaciated Chinese refugees were able to overpower members of the National Guard. You people really can’t lead the military, can you?” He sticks it to me. 

“Actually, we had to wait for the pies to cool.” Donna steps in in an attempt to diffuse the situation. Either she doesn’t get yet that this is how we show our affection for one another or she’s tired of hearing the squabbling; I’m thinking it’s the latter. 

“You made pie?” Comes the voice of Toby Ziegler from behind Matt. 

“Yes, three kinds.” Donna displays them proudly as she removes them from the bag she carried them in. 

“Leave this cretin and run away with me. He’ll never appreciate you the way I do.” Toby tries to persuade her. 

“Step away from my woman.” I growl and physically step between them. 

“YOUR woman?” Donna repeats. 

“Big misstep, mi amore.” C.J. offers as she pours Donna a glass of wine. 

“It’s a term of affection.” I argue. 

“It’s a term of ownership.” Ainsley throws in. 

I look at this trio and decide there is no way out of this conversation that doesn’t include me being tarred and feathered. “I’m going to watch the ballgame now.” I decide and briefly kiss Donna before I grab a beer off the counter and escape. 

“Chicken.” Matt accuses. 

“Discretion is the better part of valor.” I quote back to him. 

“So was that your brilliant idea to have the Guardsmen stand down?” Matt asks. 

“All the brilliant ideas are mine.” I boast as Mike comes in the front door. 

“Where the hell have you been?” I ask. 

“We had a little…situation that I got called in for. You’re not the only one who has erratic work hours.” Mike counters. 

“You brought chips to our Thanksgiving dinner?” I tease him. 

“Oh, and what did you bring?” He scoffs. 

“Three different flavored pies.” I answer. 

“Bullshit. That was Donna. And the Pecan pie is for me.” Excuse me? 

“Last time I checked, you were not on her list of favorite people, so why, exactly, would my girlfriend be making a pecan pie for you?” 

“We came to an understanding.” Mike announces. 

“This I’ve got to hear.” I tell him but he shakes his head ‘no’. 

“It was a private conversation.” Mike maintains. 

“I’m sorry. Did you just say you had a private conversation with my girlfriend and now refuse to share the details?” 

“Let’s suffice it to say that I agree with her in that you’re moronic obsession with the Mets is certainly something you should be talking about with someone in the mental health profession.” 

“Fine, I’ll ask Donna.” I threaten. 

“Go ahead.” He waves me away. 

“DONNA!” I bellow into the kitchen where the women have congregated. 

“WHAT?!” She shouts back. Is that terrific or what? 

“What the hell did you and Mike talk about?” 

“Your obsession with the Mets.” She replies. 

“DONNA!” I object. 

“None of your damn business, Joshua!” This she shouts through the door that she has opened just enough to make eye contact with me while she says it. Incredible. 

“This is for the ‘my woman’ comment earlier?” I guess. 

“Damn right.” She replies saucily. I could take her right now, I swear to God. 

“Ah-kay.” I reply and try to shift my concentration back to the game. Matt’s apartment is loud and crazy. There are 6 different conversations going on at once, with the game playing in the background. Food is literally everywhere. Matt had to scrap his idea of having a formal Thanksgiving dinner around his dining room table when the crowd got too big, so now his whole apartment has been converted into one giant Thanksgiving buffet. I am stuffed. 

We’ve spread out on the floor, Donna and I, with a couple couch pillows tucked under my head and Donna’s head pillowed on my shoulder. I look around the room at all the people I’m so thankful to have in my life and a wave of happiness and peace comes over me; peace that I haven’t felt in a long time. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“I’ll be right back.” I whisper to him and get up slowly. It’s a comfortable spot being tucked in with Josh, but I’ve really got to pee. When I come out of the bathroom, I find C.J. waiting in the hall for me. 

“Come with me.” She says quietly. I don’t know C.J. very well, personally. Of course I’ve seen her on TV along with everyone else, but personally not so much. However, Ainsley vouches for her and the interactions I have had with her have been great, so I follow her without a qualm. We slip into a bedroom. I’m guessing a guest bedroom because I just don’t feel Matt in here. C.J. hands me a spoon and produces a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. A second later, Ainsley comes through the door, also brandishing a spoon. Me thinks this was a set up. 

“What is this about, ladies?” I ask as I take a spoonful of ice cream directly from the container. 

“Sam said that Mike told him you two talked and worked out a Josh plan.” Ainsley says around her mouth full of sin. 

C.J. shakes her head at the convoluted phrase. “Has it gotten that far? Do we need a Josh plan?” She asks. I purse my lips and narrow my eyes at Ainsley who nods solemnly. 

“Yeah…I think we do.” I tell her and she nods as well. 

“What’s going on?” She asks simply. Over the next 10 or 15 minutes I give C.J. the Cliff Notes version of what’s going on with Josh and explain that Mike and I have appointed ourselves the point ‘men’ for him. 

“That’s good because Mike can use his badge to clear a room if he has to.” C.J. decides. “Sam is going to make sure Josh isn’t in on any meetings alone for awhile. We’re going to try to keep this off Leo’s desk for the moment.” 

“Are you sure that’s wise?” Ainsley pipes up. “He might need to know--” 

“If he needs to know, he’ll know, but for now, we keep this out of the COS’s office.” C.J. dictates. Then she hands me a card with all her numbers on it; home, cell, and direct office numbers. “I’m your first call, Donna. If anything happens to or with Josh that you think I need to know about…call me immediately.” 

“C.J….I don’t know if I’m comfortable…” 

“Donna, it’s my job, but Josh is also a dear friend.” That’s really all I needed to hear. 

“Okay, but you’re my second call; Mike’s already got dibs on first call.” 

“Fair enough. Now there’s something I’m dying to know.” C.J. leans in conspiratorially. 

“Uhhhhh…what is that?” I ask hesitantly. 

“Does he really wear the pajamas I gave him?” she asks and I crack up laughing. 

“No.” I admit and she growls. “But you shouldn’t take it personally, C.J., he doesn’t generally wear any.” 

“NO! Stop! I don’t want to hear about that!” She protests while Ainsley and I share a chuckle. 

The door to the bedroom opens suddenly. 

“God, I thought it was just at restaurants that you people went to the bathroom in herds.” Josh notes. 

Moans all around. That’s my guy. 

“We’re just exchanging information on one another’s sex lives.” C.J. tells him. 

“Donna!” He objects. 

“What? I was saying really nice things….REALLY nice things.” I say in a low, sultry voice while I lick the ice cream off my spoon. Josh can’t take his eyes off my mouth. 

“You know, dinner’s over, we could head home now.” He suggests. 

“Oh no, mi amore.” C.J. corrects him. “We sat through TWO football games. It’s payback time.” 

“Not a chic flick.” He says in horror. 

“I’m afraid so.” Ainsley nods. 

“Donna?” He turns to me for veto power. 

“You can sleep through it.” I tousle his hair. 

True to his word, he promptly falls asleep in my lap…until there’s an explosion in the movie. He jerks awake and screams like the building is on fire. I go into damage control. 

“Josh, we’re at Matt’s. Everyone is safe. Josh?” I call his name again. He looks around with the disoriented look that I’ve become all too familiar with. I shoot a look at Mike. 

“Let’s get a beer, Josh, I’ve had enough of the chic flick.” Mike rolls his eyes and helps Josh to his feet. Looks like we’re not quite over it yet, eh Mike? 

TBC


	10. Angels and Demons

Chris, Josh and I manage to find a near deserted bar in Georgetown and commandeer a booth in the back corner. Once Chris returns with the beers, he lays into Josh. 

“You HAVE to talk to someone.” He insists to Josh, who immediately sits back in his bench and scoffs. 

“Chris, did you just get to town?” I reply. “If it gets out the top policy advisor to the President is seeing a shrink, he’ll be done in politics.” 

“Give. Me. A. Fucking. Break.” Chris says to me and then turns to Josh. “You listen to me very carefully. As long as Matt and/or I have a seat in Congress, you have a job in politics. I would kill to have you as my Chief of Staff. And you’re both assuming that someone finds out about it. Psychiatrists aren’t allowed to divulge information on their patients.” 

“This is Washington.” I reply. 

“Then you get someone that doesn’t care if he’s the Deputy Chief of Staff, President of the United States or his accountant Ted.” Chris shoots back. “And she’s not talking about a psychiatrist anyway; she’s talking about a trauma specialist.” 

“She?” Josh finally participates in the conversation and snaps his head up. 

“Good one, asshole.” I mutter to Chris who just shrugs. 

“Donna put you up to this?” 

“No!” Chris and I immediately deny. 

“You two are rotten liars.” He says shaking his head. “I can’t fucking believe it.” 

“Wait a minute.” I say holding out my hand. How am I going to get Donna out of this mess? I take a deep breath and just go for the gold. “She’s scared, Josh.” 

“What?” he asks quietly. “She’s scared of me?” 

“Not OF you.” Chris rushes to reassure him. “FOR you.” 

“What the hell’s the difference?” 

“There’s an enormous difference.” Chris argues. “Josh, you have to talk to somebody. We’ll figure out a way to make it happen, but you have to. It’s eating you up, and it’s eating her up.” 

“Donna’s tougher than you think.” He immediately and I might say unconvincingly dismisses. 

“Please.” I say. “Have you ever actually been with a woman who loves you?” He doesn’t answer. “You certainly haven’t while I’ve known you. And Donna loves you. And if you don’t believe me, just look at what she’s doing. Who puts up with this in the beginning of a relationship? But she knows it’s not you, so she wants to help you. Maybe you were supposed to meet her now, I don’t fucking know.” I can’t believe I just quoted her to him either. 

“Well, I can’t just go see Stanley. I can’t go see anyone in D.C., I’m too visible.” He says. I think we have something of an agreement now. 

“I’ve got an idea.” I say quickly as I run through the Bureau’s resources in my head. “And if anyone DID find out, it would be perfectly plausible and no one would think anything of it.” 

“Why do I not have a good feeling about that?” Josh says. 

“Let’s get back.” I reply, draining my beer. “Matt’s probably freaking out right now.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m pacing the length of Matt’s really nice kitchen ready to pull my hair out. I can’t believe he just got up and left like that. Okay. So Mike and Chris went with him, but is he okay? Were they able to calm him down? 

“Donna. Relax.” Matt orders. 

“I can’t. I’m too nervous. Matt, everyone saw it.” 

“The people he’s most close to saw it, Donna, not the Washington Post.” 

“I don’t understand how he can not see a shrink.” I say. 

“Oh, he’s seeing someone.” Matt says with a hollow laugh. “If I have to resort to subterfuge to make it happen, he’s seeing someone. I’m done. I’m calling in the big guns now. He can’t go on like that.” 

“Who?” I ask curiously. 

“Don’t worry about it. Just know I’m on it.” He says cryptically. 

The front door opens and Josh, Chris and Mike come back in. I rush over, grab Josh’s hand and yank him back to the guest room. “Are you okay?” I immediately demand once the door’s shut. 

“Yes.” He says. 

“Do you want to go home?” I ask and he nods. Nobody questions our early departure and I drive us in his car back to his place. He seems distant, but that also seems par for the course after something like that happens. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you want me to make you some coffee or something?” she asks quietly when we’re settled at home. 

“No.” I say running a hand down my face and dropping down onto the couch. She stays on the other side of the room and now I feel horrible. “What are you doing all the way over there?” 

“Giving you space.” She shrugs. 

“So, it’s just like I thought. You are afraid of me.” I say and stand up and her eyes widen. “Donna, I promise you, I would never…” 

“No, Josh!” she says quickly and rushes over to me. She puts her hands on my face and forces me to meet her eyes. “I would never think that. I have NEVER thought that. I just…I don’t like seeing you in all this pain.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Listen, Donna, I’ll understand if this is too much for you.” He says after a moment. I think my heart just stopped. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Nothing, I just…you hardly know me, you just moved here, you just got out of an unpleasant relationship. This is a lot to take on.” 

What the hell is this? 

“Are you trying to break up with me?” 

“No!” 

“Because that’s what it sounds like. It sounds like you’re trying to maneuver me into leaving you.” I’m starting to shake now and I can feel my eyes tearing up. “You can’t do this, Josh. You can’t just… bump into me sideways and be this nice, charming, funny guy and pull this shit on me.” 

“Donna…” 

“You can’t just make me care and then try to dictate how I do it, Josh.” I continue. I can feel the tears starting to fall and I curse myself for it. When one is trying to be strong, it’s best not to show weakness. 

He catches my wildly gesticulating arms and pins them behind my back. “I’m not doing that.” he insists. “I just…I’m not used to being this high maintenance and I’m definitely not used to this level of attention from a woman.” 

He lets go of my hands and I wipe the tears off my cheeks. “Well get used to it.” I reply and to emphasize my point, I give him a little shove. He smiles and pulls me loosely back into his arms. 

“I’ll try.” He promises softly and kisses my neck. 

“You better.” I sigh as he pins me up against the wall. But the fight has gone out of me as he begins to rains kisses on every piece of exposed skin he can find. Finally, he picks me up and brings me back to the bedroom with a bit of a groan. Poor guy, that side really isn’t getting any better. 

He doesn’t seem so distracted when he makes love to me, but when he thinks I’m asleep, he slips out of bed anyway and my heartbreaks as I realize he’s afraid to go to sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, I’m obviously not fooling Donna, but I suppose that’s okay. I like having her in my corner. I’m not overly fond that she went to my friends to talk about me, but I understand that she’s concerned and scared and I really can’t argue with that. 

She’s not the only one that’s scared. I don’t know what’s going on. For a guy like me who’s always in control, always has a plan and is one step ahead of everyone else, I feel like I’m struggling to keep up. The nightmares practically consume me and are becoming more and more debilitating. It’s easier to just not sleep. But how long can I keep that up? Everything seems to be getting worse, not better. 

Except Donna. Is it bad to be this wrapped up in a person who for all intents and purposes I just met? I’ve known her a few short weeks, but it didn’t take me long to completely fall for her. I know better than this. A virtual stranger should never see this side of a guy like me, especially one that works for a republican, even though that particular republican is my oldest and closest friend. 

But she doesn’t feel like a stranger and it just feels natural that she’s entered my life when it’s so clearly falling apart. 

I gave in on the shrink, but I don’t know how I can possibly pull that off. If I were a guy with a different job, that’d be one thing, but there’s a website devoted to me. It posts where I shop and have lunch. How could I expect it not to say that I’ve been seen entering and exiting a psychiatrist’s office? I know this fan club of mine doesn’t actually follow me, but they do radio in when they see me around. 

Donna says she’s not afraid of me. How can she not be? I don’t remember stuff. Sometimes, I don’t remember what I said, but I know it was awful based on the look on her face. 

What kills me is she just got out of a nasty relationship. Both she and Ainsley have told me about Dr Freeride and I can’t stop feeling guilty that I’m, albeit completely unintentionally, treating her even the slightest bit like he did. She doesn’t deserve that. She doesn’t deserve to be taken advantage of to be in a constant state of confusion over the guy she’s seeing. 

I wasn’t trying to get her to break up with me. I’m selfish and I need her. I was trying to reassure myself that she wasn’t going to bail on me because the going was getting tough. 

“What are you doing out here?” she whispers in my ear, sliding her hands down my chest. 

“I’m not tired.” I lie. She steps around to the front of me and links her arms around my neck. 

“Wanna watch t.v.?” she asks. I know she didn’t buy that I wasn’t tired, but at least she’s trying to be supportive. 

“It’s okay. You should go to sleep.” 

“I don’t have to work tomorrow.” She shrugs with a yawn. 

“Donna…” 

“I don’t want to be by myself in there.” She confesses, leading me back to the couch where she gently pushes me down. “I want to be out here with you.” She hands me the remote control and settles her head in my lap, curling up under a blanket. 

I smile gently down at her as she closes her eyes again, and I begin to stroke her hair. Lucky for me, I’m a guy that’s used to forcing himself to be awake. I get woken up for work at all sorts of un-Godly hours. 

I wonder if it’s too soon to tell her I love her. The President asked if I was significantly thankful for having her in my life. I am. I don’t know how I got this lucky. I seriously wonder sometimes if she’s actually real or just a figment of my currently overworked mind. Sometimes I wonder if I just made her up to get me through this. 

And that’s the scariest thought of all. 

What if I did make her up? I mean, it seems everyone else can see her, too, but maybe that’s why I really don’t want to go see a shrink. What if they tell me Donna doesn’t actually exist or that getting into a relationship right now when I’m emotionally vulnerable or some crap like that is a bad idea and I’m forced to give her up? Mike thought it was a bad idea, why wouldn’t an actual mental health professional? 

Mike also says I’m bullet proof. But what he doesn’t realize is there are different types of bullets. 

TBC


	11. Angels and Demons

“You’re the natural one to go to Leo.” Chris tells me. 

“Why not you?” I shoot back. 

“I don’t think he likes me very much. I’m not sure he’d take a meeting with me.” Chris admits. 

“Then I guess you shouldn’t have fucked around with the weapons vote, huh?” I point out. I knew this was going to be me. Chris is right; McGarry doesn’t like him. A conversation between Matt and McGarry would be…awkward at best and it would be tinged with some party line suspicion. No, I knew they’d pin it on the F.B.I. guy. But I’m not going in without back up. 

“Fine, but I’m bringing Sam in with me.” I state and get no pushback. Within an hour, Sam and I are in the office of the White House Chief of Staff. 

“This is an unusual pairing.” Leo’s brows go up. 

“It’s an unusual situation, sir.” I tell him. “We have a concern and we thought it best to bring it directly to you.” 

“I’m guessing this isn’t about what to get me for Christmas.” Leo deadpans. He and Josh share that droll sense of humor. 

“Leo…Josh has been having some trouble.” Sam lays it out there and Leo sits straight up. 

“His heart?” We have Leo’s complete attention now. 

“His heart’s fine.” Sam hastens to add. “His blood pressure was down for awhile, but it’s back up again.” 

“He’s volunteering his medical information?” Leo looks dubious. 

“Donna keeps us up to date.” Sam informs him. 

“That seems to have gotten very close very fast.” Leo drawls. 

“She’s part of the reason we’re here. We promised her we’d talk to you about getting Josh some help.” Sam explains. 

“Help for what?” 

“We think he’s experiencing post traumatic stress.” I tell him. “A buddy of mine in the bureau had very similar symptoms.” 

“Which are?” Leo asked. 

“Nightmares, irritability, loss of appetite, increased use of alcohol, startled by loud or unexpected noised, migraines or cluster headaches, and loss of memory.” I recite. Leo’s looking at me like I just pointed a gun at him. He then turns to Sam with the same expression. 

“Is there a chance that--” 

“He’s getting worse Leo.” Sam says simply. “We’ve been able to cover for him so far, but one of these days he’s going to lose it in front of someone that isn’t a friend. There are already rumors circulating. And that’s just the professional side of things. Personally, he’s in a world of hurt.” 

Leo turns pale and sits back in his chair. I may not be a world class political operative myself, but I’ve been around one long enough to learn how they think. Leo’s trying to decide which is greater; the professional risk of not getting Josh some mental health or the personal risk of not getting him the help. 

“Josh isn’t going to have a career to save if he doesn’t get help soon, Mr. McGarry.” I have to call it like I see it. We’ve given this time and we’ve given Josh all the support we can…and it’s getting worse…by the day. 

Leo scrubs his face with his hands. “I don’t even know where to start. Do I put him on leave?” He asks rhetorically. 

“There’s an organization we work with; ATVA. They would send out a team if you requested it. You could even give Josh some political cover by making everyone at Rosslyn meet with them. You could say you’re taking a proactive step since you were all victims of gun violence.” I suggest and after a minute, Leo nods decisively. 

“I’ll take care of this today. We’ve only got a couple weeks until the holiday recess and people are pretty distracted. Maybe we’ll get lucky.” He says, then shakes his head. “Aw, who am I kidding? When’s the last time we got lucky?” 

“You all lived through Rosslyn.” I point out and his head snaps up to mine. What? I wasn’t being a smart ass. I wasn’t! My friend is VERY lucky to be alive. Leo must see the sincerity in my face, because he slowly nods. 

“You’re exactly right, Agent Casper.” He agrees. “I’ll contact ATVA right away, but for now, let’s keep this between us.” 

Hell, yes. Did he think I’d run to Josh with this happy news? Please! We’re almost out the door when he asks once more question. 

“This Donna? She seems like a nice woman. I’ve never seen Josh so distracted by a woman. We’re sure she’s good for him?” 

“Without a doubt, sir.” I feel compelled to answer since I had originally opposed the match. 

“Okay then…It’s just with his father gone and my being a friend of the family…” He seems uncomfortable explaining the personal aspect of his relationship with Josh. “I just don’t want to see him with another Mandy. Especially now with all this nonsense going on.” He waves his arms between us. “I’ll take care of this.” 

I believe him. Leo McGarry is a man of his word, and it’s very apparent he cares about Josh almost like a son. Hang on, Josh. Help is coming. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Hello?” I still feel uncomfortable answering Josh’s phone, but the caller ID came up private and that could easily BE Josh so… 

“Is this Donna?” Asks a female voice. 

“Uhhhhh…yes?” God, what is the protocol for answering your boyfriend’s phone when he isn’t home and the female caller on the other end wants you to identify yourself. 

“Thank God.” She sighs. “Okay, now we have to do this. If my son is in the room with you say, ‘It’s pretty cold in D.C. today.” 

“Ummmm…Josh isn’t home right now, Mrs. Lyman, but I think you can reach him on his cell.” 

“Oh, I don’t want to talk to Joshua. I want to talk to you.” She dismisses the idea of talking to Josh like it’s a ridiculous prospect. “He never tells me anything important; or nothing important that I can’t learn on CNN. So I hear you’re from Wisconsin?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” I reply. What the hell? 

“Ma’am? I think you’ve mistaken me for the First Lady, Donna.” Mrs. Lyman chuckles. “Call me Sarah.” 

“Okay…Sarah.” I agree. “Josh should be home any minute, I’m only here now to get dinner started.” 

“Really? Sam said you were more or less living there.” Sarah comments. I am going to kill Sam Seaborn. I can do it too. My father taught me how to shoot a hunting rifle. 

“Well I…that is, that’s probably something you and Josh…you know, I’m not sure that’s any of your business.” I end on a flourish. 

“Oh, Donna, you and I are going to be fast friends. I can tell.” Sarah chuckles again. “Do you talk back to my son like that?” 

Now it’s my turn to chuckle. “Constantly.” I admit. 

“Then Sam must be right about you. How is Josh doing?” she asks. 

“He’s…fine, Sarah.” I hedge. 

“You’re going to lie to me so early in our relationship, Donna?” Sarah prods. “Sam told me he’s still having some hard days.” 

“Sam seems to have told you quite a bit.” I note. 

“Everyone spills to me, Donna. It’s a gift. Nightmares?” 

“Once in awhile. Not as often now, I don’t think.” I answer. “His blood pressure is down a bit.” 

“That must be due to your calming presence. How are you able to get him to the doctor to check? I only got him there because he wasn’t in any physical condition to fight me.” 

“You really don’t want to know.” I reply. 

There’s a surprised silence before Sarah lets out a full belly laugh. “Oh, I like you Donna Moss. I like you very much. You should come here with Josh for the holidays.” 

“I think you’re going to have to talk to Josh about that one.” I declare. 

“I will. I just thought we could double team him. I’ll use mother guilt and you use…whatever it is you use to get him to the doctor.” Sarah chuckles. “I’d like to see my son and he’s been avoiding me.” 

‘Welcome to the club’ I think. Not that he’s been directly avoiding me, but he is keeping a certain distance, only letting me get so close. His stress level seems to be increasing as the holidays approached. “I’ll see what I can do.” 

“Thank you, Donna. I’m looking forward to meeting you in person.” Sarah acts like it’s a done deal. Just where I have seen that strategy employed before? 

“Me too, Sarah. I’m glad you called.” I tell her and you know what? It’s the truth. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Something strange is happening at my staff meeting. Unsure of whether to address it or not, I’ve decided to ignore it for the moment, but I don’t want anyone to be under the impression that I’m unaware of the oddness. 

“Nice work on the housing bill, Donna.” I mention. 

“Thanks, but Sherry helped me with that. It wouldn’t have been nearly as comprehensive without her help.” Okay this is the third time that Donna pointed out some imaginary virtue of Sherry’s. Sherry is a bright, articulate woman and she has skills; I wouldn’t have hired her otherwise. But research is not one of those skills. I give Donna a look that says ‘that’s enough’ and she settles down. 

“I have a meeting with the Speaker in a few minutes. Does ANYBODY have a clue what we’re meeting about?” I toss out there. I don’t know what the hell I’ve done to warrant a visit from the enforcer of the House, but nonetheless he’s coming. 

“I told you, he said it was just a courtesy call.” Sherry reminds me. 

“Sherry is pretty good at reading people, Matt.” Donna pipes up again. “I’m sure if there was an ulterior motive she’d have gotten wind of it.” What. The. Hell? 

“Right. Okay, thanks everyone. I appreciate the extra hours everyone put in this week.” I tell the group. “Now get the hell out of here so I don’t look like a nice boss in front of the speaker. You know he doesn’t approve of that.” There are chuckles around the table. My staff knows there’s no love lost between the speaker and I. “Donna. Hold up a second, will you?” 

I wait until the rest of the group has left before I ask a question I KNOW I will be regretting that I asked later. 

“What is going on with you and Sherry?” 

“Nothing. I don’t know what you mean.” She says brightly. Donna Moss is a terrible liar. 

“Donna, Sherry is good at many things. She’s been in my office for years. Researching housing market stats is not among her skill sets. Why are you giving her credit for everything you’re working on?” 

“She helped me.” Donna insists and I give her a disbelieving look. “She did.” 

“Donna, you know the Speaker is coming to see me. You know this puts me in a very bad mood. Don’t play with me. What is all this?” 

“She hates me.” Donna said simply. “She hates me and I’m trying to change that because it makes things very awkward and uncomfortable around here.” 

“And you think giving her credit for things she hasn’t done is going to improve your relationship with her? And everyone else in the office?” 

“She did help me Matt. At least she tried to help me. She’s going through a bad time right now. The creep she was dating from the state department? He was seeing this ‘ho from the GAO the ENTIRE time they were going out. Then he has the nerve to call her and say he has to ‘work late’ and can’t take her to the concert like they’d planned only to have his picture show up in the society pages the next day with the ‘ho from the GAO. Hey, that rhymes.” She flashes me a quick grin. “Anyway, she was down on all men and then decided to set her sights on Josh. Seriously, I can’t blame her there, only…that didn’t work out like she’d hoped and she sort of blames me for that. So now she’s all cold to me in the office and I can’t stand it when someone is mad at me, even if it’s not exactly my fault. I thought if I could become friends with her, she’d forget that I have Josh and she doesn’t long enough for me to introduce her to another guy. Somebody who’d be a better match for her.” 

See? I told you I’d regret asking the question. Don’t bother telling me not to ask the follow up. It’s like a road accident now. I HAVE to look. “And just who do you think would be a better match for her?” 

“Mike.” She smiles delightedly. Oh. God. 

“Congressman, the Speaker is here to see you.” Sherry announces from the doorway and she sends a smile to Donna so I think her crazy scheme is working. I gratefully leave Donna and Sherry alone to go take my meeting. 

“Mr. Speaker.” I shake Congressman Coleman’s hand and offer him a chair in my office. “It isn’t often that I get a courtesy call when I’ve been behaving myself.” 

“Nonsense, my people get courtesy calls when they behave themselves AND when they step out of line.” Coleman explains. 

“So there’s really no avoiding you then.” I drawl and I can see John Coleman try to decipher whether I’m joking or not. I’m not. I’m not a big fan of the Speaker. He makes Josh Lyman’s tactics look subtle. 

“Ah…no, I’m afraid not.” He smiles, deciding I was joking. He isn’t all that good at reading people either. So how did he get into the position he did? Connections and a superior chief of staff. 

“What can I do for you?” 

“The leadership appreciated your willingness to take point with the White House on Marriage Recognition…and now with housing regulations. You’ve been a strong, articulate voice for the party.” 

“Thanks. I’ve got a top notch staff that helps me look good.” I quip. 

“The Majority Leader asked me to ask you if that was a role you’d be willing to take on with greater frequency.” 

“I’m sorry?” 

“We need you on point for some legislation that’s coming down the pike. You do some interviews, appear on the cable talk shows, and become the public face for the policies.” 

“You want ME for that?” 

“We do. Public response to you on Marriage and Housing has been very positive.” Coleman explained. “Want to help your party out here?” 

I pause. This isn’t exactly what it looks like. I’m not sure about all the angles, but I’ve got a couple already. 1) They think I’ll be able to neutralize Josh Lyman; 2) They think putting a gay man front and center will help with their ‘diversity’ issues. Yes, I’d like to step up here, but I need to weigh all this carefully. 

“I’d be interested in helping the party. But I’d need some things in exchange.” I tell him just to see his reaction. 

“Name them.” Interesting. Not a even a blink of hesitation. 

“I’ll need more staff, and I want a seat at the table when we’re setting the agenda.” 

“Done.” He stands up. “I’ll have my COS walk some things over for you this afternoon.” 

“I’ll be anxious to look them over.” I rise too, and shake his hand again. I wait for it. 

He’s got his hand on the door and I start to doubt my read on this, when… 

“How’s your friend Josh Lyman doing? Tragic, what he went through.” There it is. 

“I don’t see him much.” I blatantly lie. “But I hear he’s doing fine.” 

The Speaker nods and opens the door. “That’s good. That’s just fine, then. Talk to you soon, Congressman.” 

There you have it; the opening salvo. 

TBC


	12. Angels and Demons

Donna drops down next to me on my couch. 

“I’ve got something for you!” she announces with a big smile. I love when she smiles. I wonder if I should tell her that yet. And her ‘gifts’ are always excellent…sexy lingerie…massages in the bath tub… 

“What...the hell is all this?” I ask when she hands me two pages of some sort of list. 

“My Christmas list.” She says happily. 

“Am I supposed to get you everything on here?” There’s like 30 things on here. 

“Not at all.” She says. 

“Ski pants…ski boots…ski hat…ski goggles…ski gloves…ski poles. I’m assuming you already have skis?” 

“Page two.” She says, gesturing for me to turn the page, which of course goes on in the ski theme. “Just pick something off that list and, you know, you should feel free to pick two things.” 

“I should feel that freedom?” I smile at her. How freaking adorable is she? 

“Yeah.” She nods. 

“Thanks.” 

“I want to learn how to ski.” 

“No kidding.” I reply. “Wait a minute. You don’t know HOW to ski?” 

“No, not yet.” 

“Let’s say I do buy you all this stuff…” I begin, because let’s face it. I’m insane for this woman, I just might. “…what if you hate skiing?’ 

“I don’t think I will. I like the equipment.” She says with full conviction. 

“The equipment.” 

“Yeah. I think I’d look cute in the ski bunny getup.” 

I raise my eyebrows and actually think about this. Suddenly, visions of Donna in a hot tub in Aspen are popping into my head. She might be onto something here. 

“God help me, yes, I think you would.” I sigh and move the list to the end table next to me, then move her to my lap. 

“You’ll think about it?” she whispers against my mouth. 

“Oh sure.” I say. I mean I’ll think about the hot tub images. They’re much more pleasant. Skiing? Why does she need to put on that much clothes? 

She groans as she tips her head back and I lazily kiss down her neck. We move slowly to the floor and I settle above her, raining kisses down her skin as she languorously squirms beneath me. She’s catlike in her movements and it’s really sexy. 

She pulls my shirt over my head and leans up to kiss my check. I let out a moan from the sensation of her lips on my still sensitive flesh. 

There’s a snow storm outside that’s pretty much shutting down the city, so we’ve got all the time in the world. Short of something exploding, and I mean other than me, I can devote my entire weekend to this fantastic creature in my arms. 

She pushes against my shoulders and rolls us over and within moments, I’m completely naked and she’s completely dressed and let me tell you something, that’s not fair. 

But she kisses down my stomach and suddenly… 

I. 

Don’t. 

Care about that anymore. 

I call out her name, completely involuntarily, as she wraps her lips around me and sets to work. I can see stars behind my eyelids and all I can do right now is feel her. It’s all I WANT to do right now. My hand gets tangled in her hair and her fingers dig into my hips. 

I love her. 

But I’m not going to tell her that right now because she’ll just think it’s because of this amazing moment she’s bringing me to right now and I don’t want her to think that. 

When it’s too much to bear and I need to be inside of her, I yank her back up to me and don’t you know, she’s naked. 

Well, that was efficient. 

She sucks in her breath as I sink into her. The only sound in the room is our labored breathing and occasional moans and hisses. The light in the room seems to be drawn magnetically just around her and I’m not a hundred percent sure that I’m not having an out of body experience right now. 

Nobody’s ever made me feel as incredible as she does. Not just physically, but emotionally too. I’ve become completely dependent on her to fill my constant need for affection and she doesn’t seem to ever mind. She’s the most affectionate person I’ve ever met. I still can’t believe that she actually, you know, likes me. 

I call out her name as an explosion of feeling flows through my body in wave after exquisite wave. When I open my eyes, she’s smiling down at me. She tugs on my hand and I sit up and wrap my arms around her, while she wraps her legs around my waist. 

“Whaddya have to say about that?” she smiles mischievously at me. 

“I say I think I might buy you those skis.” I toss back, kissing her bare shoulder and she giggles. One of the many things I love about her is how super sensitive she is to me after sex. She’ll giggle no matter where I touch her. And touching her is my absolute favorite thing to do. 

She shivers a bit and then pulls the blanket off the couch and wraps it around us as we stay in this awesome position. She runs her fingers through my hair and down my face as I watch her adoringly and probably looking like some kind of love sick fool, but it’s just her here, so who really cares? 

“Are you going home for Christmas?” I ask finally. I’ve been avoiding asking her this question. Sooner or later, she’s going to fly home to see her parents and I’m going to be totally depressed and missing her. I’m trying to postpone that if at all possible. 

“Home?” she asks. 

“To Wisconsin.” I prod. “To see your parents?” 

“Oh. Wisconsin’s not my home.” She smiles. “Wisconsin hasn’t felt like home in years actually.” 

“Where is home?” I smile. 

“I don’t know yet.” She says bluntly. “But I do really like the welcoming feeling I get when I’m with you.” 

“I’m quite hospitable.” I whisper before kissing her neck. 

“You can say that again.” 

“Are you going to Wisconsin for Christmas?” I ask again. 

“Well, sooner or later, I’m going to have to bite the bullet and go for a visit, but a round trip ticket is pretty expensive. I’ve got a nice savings going right now and I’d rather put that money towards an apartment and, you know, everything I have to put in an apartment.” 

“An apartment?” I frown, looking up at her. 

“Yeah.” She says. 

“Why?” 

“I can’t live with Ainsley forever!” she laughs. 

“She’s kicking you out?” 

“No, not at all.” Donna says. “But I moved out here to stand on my own two feet, and it’s kinda about time I did.” 

“Oh.” I frown, but return to her neck. This is all kind of unsettling to me. 

“Josh?” 

“Mmm?” 

“What?” 

“What do you mean what?” 

“Why do you seem so surprised by my plan to get my own place? You don’t think that’s a good idea?” 

“Sure.” I nod. “I guess I didn’t really put much thought into it.” 

But reality hits me now. I just assumed that when she DID move out, it would be in with me. But we’ve only been together for a few weeks, and we’ve only known each other for a few weeks, so I didn’t really factor into her finding a place of her own in between that event. I mean, I can’t really expect her to be ready to live with me. Especially since I’m not a hundred percent sure I’m ready to live with her. 

But I think I am because when we’re not at work, we’re always together. I kind of already do live with her. But that could also be because this relationship is still so new, you know? There’s that whole part of a new relationship where you can’t get enough of that person and you have to see them as much as you can, especially after you starting having sex. 

“Though I suppose in the spring I could fly out.” She continues. “Would you want to come with me?” 

My head pops up then. “To Wisconsin?” and she nods. “To meet your parents?” 

“Too soon?” 

“In the spring?” I squeak. She nods again. 

“I guess the spring wouldn’t be too soon.” I reply. 

“Really?” she smiles. 

“Well, the other option would be to let you go to Wisconsin all by yourself and then I’d be depressed and lonely, so I guess I could meet your parents in order to ensure that you don’t leave me, too.” I reply and she looks at me confused. 

“Too?” she asks. 

“What?” 

“You said, ‘leave you, too.’ Where do you think I’m going to go?” 

I said that? Strange. “I don’t know.” I mumble. 

“Josh?” she asks putting her hands on my face and forcing me to meet her eyes. “I really care about you. I like being with you. I’m perfectly happy hanging out with you. Okay?” 

I nod and she kisses my forehead before returning to my lips, which ultimately ends up leading to more enthusiastic sex on the floor. 

I really love being snowed in, don’t you? 

TBC


	13. Angels and Demons

“Donna this is Greg Walters.” Matt introduces us. 

“Hi, nice to meet you.” I shake his hand and he returns the greeting. 

“Donna, Greg is going to be your shadow for the next week. I want you to teach him everything you know about research and putting together briefing memos.” Matt orders. 

“Uh…okay.” I agree reluctantly. “Am I going somewhere?” I ask, half afraid that Josh has followed up on his routine threat to ‘make Matt fire me so I can work with him at the White House’. 

“Sort of. You’re getting a field promotion.” 

“A field promotion?” I repeat. 

“Yes, in times of battle, soldiers who’d proven their worth on the battlefield would-“ 

“Earn a field promotion, yes, I get the historical reference. I just don’t know what that means for me.” I explain. 

“Greg, why don’t you have Sherry show you around while I speak to Donna for a minute.” Matt smiles at the younger man and he quickly exits the office. “Donna, I’ve recently received an offer I can’t refuse.” 

“This sounds bad already.” I mutter. 

“It’s like this. We’re coming up on an election.” 

“We’re always coming up on an election.” I point out and see Matt roll his eyes. 

“Let me put it this way. We just got through mid-terms where we were unable to change the dynamics of the Congress. We also got thoroughly spanked on the diversity issue. Republican leadership wants to show a more diverse face of the party to the public.” 

“They want to make you their gay poster guy?” I surmise. 

“More or less.” Matt nods. “Which is…annoying but not insurmountable to me.” 

“What’s the other part?” I ask. Hey, I haven’t spent all my hours, waking and sleeping, with politicians without learning an important lesson. Politicians always have more than one motivation in doing something; a two birds with one stone strategy if you will. 

“They seem to be under the impression that my friendship with Josh may blunt any attack on me from the White House.” Matt levels with me. Those dirty rats. 

“Because of Marriage Recognition?” 

Matt nods. “But Josh advised the President to pocket veto it.” Then I cover my mouth with my hand. Shit. Sleeping with one man who is on the opposite side of the man I work for, at least professionally, can be a very complex situation. 

“I know he did, Donna.” Matt says in an attempt to relieve me of my guilt. “We talked about it later.” 

“How do you guys do this?” I ask sincerely. “How do you manage to stay friends when you’re battling each other politically; sometimes in front of an audience?” 

“We respect each other.” Matt spread his hands out wide and to his sides. “It’s just that simple.” 

“Yes, you do, but you also care about each other very much. You’ve been lifelong friends. If you do this, become the front man for your party, they’re going to try to use your relationship with Josh to hurt him.” 

“They’re going to try, no doubt. They’ve already asked me how he’s doing. That’s code for, ‘is Lyman able to play ball?’ and they’re very interested in that answer. They figure if they can neutralize Josh, our agenda will be much easier to push through.” 

I take this all in for a moment. Welcome to political hardball, Donna. “You’re going to do it?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I can see the disappointment in Donna’s face as she takes all this information in. I take a deep breath and try to explain. 

“There are things here that I believe in Donna, firmly believe in. I can make a difference on those issues.” 

“At the expense of your friend?” 

“I wouldn’t do that.” I tell her straight out. “Donna, I wouldn’t do that. I’ll go toe to toe with Josh over political issues any day, every day, but I would never use personal issues against him” 

She looks at me intently, like she’s trying to cut through the politician’s bullshit to get the truth. I must pass muster because she sits back in her chair and blows out a breath. “Do I want to know what this means in terms of my job?” 

“The good news is that the leadership is giving my office more financial resources to cover the additional responsibilities I’ll be taking on so that means-“ 

“A RAISE?” Donna’s eyes bug out. “I’ve only been here a month!” 

“I told you, it’s a field promotion.” I smile. This is the silver lining part. “I need you to work with Peter on media strategy and I want you doing prep for my media appearances.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you are extremely detail oriented and I trust you.” I level with her. 

“And you’re asking me has nothing to do with the fact that I’m sleeping with Josh?” 

“Please! Mind bleach!” I wave my hands in front of my face. 

“Okay, as long as the two aren’t related.” I acquiesce. 

“They’re not. You’ve become a valuable asset here, Donna. I guess I should be asking you if you want to stay with me if this office is running offense on the White House.” Now it’s my turn to judge her face, but I don’t have to look very closely. The conflicts show very plainly. 

“I can do my job.” She tells me. “Josh and I can keep professional and personal separate.” 

“If you can than you’re a better man than me.” I mutter. “Okay, but if things get too hot, I want you to promise that you’ll come to me.” 

“Promise.” She agrees quickly. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I look up when I hear a light knock on the door and I’m delighted to see my cousin standing there. 

“Hey! Meeting Josh for lunch?” I guess. 

“He’s running late.” She shrugs. I think Donna is getting used to being flexible about her plans with Josh. 

“Come in for a bit.” I invite her. She looks…down. And down is NOT Donna’s default position. “I’m catching hell from your folks because you’re not going home for Christmas. They seem to think that I’ve sucked you into a life of dubious moral standing.” 

“Sorry they’re giving you a hard time, Ains. I told them it was my decision and you had nothing to do with it.” 

“That’s not quite how they see it.” I drawl. “You don’t have any desire to go home? Or is it that you’re trying to avoid Dan?” 

“Oh, I’m definitely trying to avoid Dan, but honestly, I want to stay here with Josh.” 

“Things seem to be moving awfully fast with you two.” I note. 

“He’s…He’s very special to me. I feel a connection with him that I’ve never felt with anyone before.” Donna levels with me. “I do have a question though.” 

“Then you’d best ask it quickly, I’m due upstairs in a few minutes to brief Leo McGarry.” 

“You and Sam…You’ve become pretty close.” 

“Donna, that’s a statement, not a question.” 

“I’m feeling…conflicted I guess. Being involved with Josh and working for Matt is causing some anxiety. Things are going to be heating up in Matt’s office and he wants my help with that. It’s an incredible opportunity, but-“ 

“It may upset things between you and Josh.” I finish for her. 

“He’s already having a hard time. I don’t want to add more stress to his life.” 

“Nor do you want to do anything to screw things up with him.” I guess and she nods. I look at my watch. “I don’t have time to walk you through the 5 stages of grief here, Donna. So we’re going to have to do the Cliff Notes version. You have to stop blaming yourself for the mess with Dan. We all met him and he seemed decent, if not a little egotistical, but with med students I don’t think that’s so unusual. It wasn’t a referendum on you or your taste in men. It doesn’t mean you did something wrong or that you can’t trust Josh. Dan was an asshole who thought he could have his cake and eat it too. He found out differently.” I have to grin here because although my dear cousin escaped with only enough possessions to fit in a car, Dan’s possessions fared far worse. My advice, don’t ever mess with Donna Moss. 

“So you don’t ever feel…disloyal when you’re with Sam?” 

“I’m in a different position than you are. Ironically, even though I’m Republican I serve the President, so while I voice my opinions which are based on my ideology, Sam and I are, currently at least, on the same side. Even though you don’t share ideology with Matt, by helping him with his goals, it puts you in direct opposition to Josh.” I explain. 

“Well, thanks Ains, I feel much better now.” 

“Donna, if it’s making you unhappy to work in Matt’s office, you have other options.” 

“That’s just it. I LOVE working in Matt’s office. He’s increasing my responsibilities, and my salary, and I feel like I’m…valuable there.” 

“Then my advice would be to keep certain topics off limits with Josh so it doesn’t lead to conflict.” I tell her as I gather my briefcase and files. 

“Right. I’m sure that’s the best thing to do here.” She agrees and walks with me to the door. 

“But you’re not going to follow my advice, right?” I confirm. 

“Not a chance in hell.” She shakes her head in the negative and continues down the hall alone. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jesus Christ, can you keep it down out here?!” Ah, my love has returned. He doesn’t look so good. 

“Can I help you?” I offer as I meet him in the hallway. 

“It’s like a damn hockey game out here.” He shouts at the bullpen in general. 

“Why don’t we go in your office and shut the door. Maybe you just need a little quiet.” I pull him into his office and shut all the doors, before turning off the lights and leading him to his chair. Once I get him seated, I seat myself in his lap and rub his temples. 

“There. Isn’t this better?” I ask him. 

“Sure, but in a few minutes you’ll leave, the damn Christmas music will start again, and I’ll be left trying to figure out how to get the SPR situation settled before my head explodes.” 

“Hmmmm…maybe you should stop fighting with your own people, and get the SPR opened up.” 

“Donna, the strategic petroleum reserves can’t just be opened up on a whim. The operative word there is strategic.” 

“I beg to differ. I think the operative word there is petroleum; as in something everyone is in great need of right now but can’t afford.” 

“Has Matt been feeding you that garbage? I don’t need Republican talking points thrown at me right now.” 

“Actually, I was expressing my own opinion based on research that I’ve been doing. Opening up the SPR would have a dramatic effect on pricing at a critical moment.” 

“This is why I’m saying you need to get out of that Republican’s office. You’re going to be brainwashed over there.” 

Okay, now I understand Josh is going through some difficult times, but I made a deal with myself when I left Dan. I wasn’t going to let any guy put me down any more. I stand up to get some distance. 

“I have a brain of my own and I know how to use it, Josh Lyman.” I tell him quietly but firmly and I see him let out a deep breath. 

“Of course you do. I’ve been the victim of your quick brain and sharp tongue many times. I’m sorry.” He says looking at me with his puppy dog face. 

“How sorry?” I tease. 

“So sorry, that I will go above and beyond the call of duty and unearth extremely difficult to find Yo-Yo Ma tickets, just for you.” 

“You mean the ones you get for free with your job because he’s playing at the Congressional Christmas party here at the White House?” I ask and watch his gaze narrow. 

“Sam?” He asks guessing the source of my info. 

“Sam.” I confirm. 

“I think at this point, we shouldn’t focus on how easy it was for me to acquire the tickets but instead focus on the fact that you’re going to see Yo-Yo Ma.” 

“Hmmm…I think we should focus on how you’re going to go with me.” I counter. 

“Donna…” It’s not that he doesn’t like Yo-Yo Ma, we’ve listened to him together at his place. I think it’s that he doesn’t want to spend another evening with the very members of Congress who are currently driving him crazy. 

“We’ll get dressed up…I’ll wear the red dress you like so much.” I coax. 

“Okay…In two more days, we will go together, to see Yo-Yo Ma.” he reluctantly agrees and I pull him into my arms for a hug of gratitude. 

“It will be fun. You’ll see.” I promise. Then my eyes slide down to a folder on his desk. It’s a folder I recognize because it’s a file that’s been sitting there for a couple weeks now. “Josh, why do you still have the Cano file on your desk?” 

He physically startles. “The new girl never remembers to send it back. It’s no big deal.” 

“I’ll give it to her on my way out.” I offer and move to pick it up, but he stops me. 

“It’s fine. I’ll deal with it later.” He tells me, but I’m not sure I believe him. The pilot, Cano, committed suicide and it really hit Josh hard, but that was over 2 weeks ago, and I don’t think it’s a good sign that he’s still brooding about it. Not a good sign at all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Stanley, thanks so much for coming out.” I come around my desk to shake his hand. Stanley Keyworth is a legend at ATVA. We’re lucky to have him here. “I’ve asked some of the people closest to Josh to make themselves available to you today. Things are pretty slow around here with the big Congressional Christmas party tomorrow. Just let Margaret know who you want to see and when and she’ll take care of the details.” 

“Does Josh know that he’s meeting with me yet?” 

“Not exactly, no.” I admit. 

“Leo…that’s a deal breaker for me. If I go through all these interviews and then Josh refuses to see me-“ 

“He won’t refuse to see you.” 

“How can you be so sure?” Stanley asks me. 

“Because when the President of the United States orders you to do something…” 

“Yeah, see, people ordered into therapy don’t usually find good results.” Stanley points out. 

“You do whatever it is you do, and I’ll take care of making sure you have a malleable client to work with on the 24th.” I assure him. “One other thing…these people you’ll be talking to? They’re all very concerned about Josh, but they’ve also gotten in the habit of circling the wagons around him, so you may find they’re a little…” 

“Resistant?” He guesses. 

“Mutinous.” I decide. “Or maybe insolent? Certainly impertinent and obstinate.” I round out the descriptors. Hey, this guy gets almost $400 an hour. He can handle this assignment. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

So far, I’ve met with Leo, Toby, and C.J. and to say it’s been a tough morning would be a bit of an understatement. They all want me to help Josh, they just don’t want to say or do anything to help me in that endeavor. Next up, Agent Mike Casper. 

“Come in, Agent Casper, thanks for taking the time to speak with me.” 

“Anything to help Josh.” He replies and sits down across from me. 

“How long have you known Josh?” 

“Why?” 

“Why do you think?” I almost laugh out loud. Agent Casper is just a TOUCH suspicious. 

“No, no, no. I’m in law enforcement. I know how this works; answering questions with questions to throw a person off. That’s not going to work with me.” Casper says confidently. 

Yeah…it’s going to be a long day. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Yes, he’s been short and cranky lately, but I honestly don’t think it’s all that worse than usual. Jeez, you should have seen him jump all over me about a damn vote one time. It’s not like he should be able to take my vote for granted, you know?” 

I’ve discovered that Congressman Wick likes to talk about himself. Maybe it’s a requisite for running for Congress. 

“So you don’t think he’s been behaving oddly at all?” I press and he looks over at my notepad suspiciously. 

“Maybe, but he’s had a rough time since the shooting. Do you really think you should be writing all this down?” 

I let out a deep breath. “It’s the way I work. I assure you that everything you say is confidential.” 

“I’m not worried about what I say.” Wick explains. “But if you spill anything about Josh, he’ll make it his life’s work to end your life’s work.” Ah, loyalty. Josh has a lot of loyal friends. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“He’s snapping at people all the time.” Matt Skinner tells me. “Okay, honestly, that’s not unusual for Josh, but usually he reserves that behavior for Republicans that have pissed him off. Lately it’s been me, Mike, and even Donna, who I honestly think he’s crazy about.” 

“Is there a ramp up, or is he simply snapping without warning?” I ask. 

“Mostly without warning.” Matt admits. He’s been the most open in the group I’ve been interviewing. “Donna also said he’s been having lots of nightmares and headaches.” 

“I’ll ask her about that. Is there anything else you can tell me that you think would be helpful?” 

“Yeah, if you’ve got any kind of body armor, you might want to wear it before you meet with him.” He quips. “He puts on a tough front, but he’s really hurting right now.” 

“That’s why I’m here, Congressman.” I tell him. 

“Okay…I just want my friend back.” He adds. 

“I’ll see what I can do to help with that.” It’s really the most I can promise him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I’m just finishing with Sam Seaborn, when a knock at the door announces the arrival of Donna Moss. 

“I can come back…?” She offers. 

“No, please, come in. Sam and I were just finishing up.” I tell her with my best re-assuring smile. “Is there anything else you can think of?” 

“No.” He says sadly. “Josh, if he was okay, would have never lost his temper with the President in the Oval.” 

“Josh lost his temper with the President?” Donna asks in shock. 

Sam can’t even look at her while he answers. “It got really ugly, Donna. Josh just lost it in there. Leo had to pull him out. He sent him home early with instructions not to come back until the party tonight.” 

“Did the President-“ 

“No. He understands Josh isn’t himself right now.” Sam cuts her off before she finishes her sentence. I notice the people around here do that a lot. It’s very disconcerting. 

“You’re Dr. Keyworth?” she asks. 

“Yes.” 

“I looked you up on the internet. You’re supposed to be very good.” 

“I hope I live up to the hype.” I reply smiling. 

“I didn’t mean to be insulting, it’s just that research is what I do, and I’m trusting you with the man I love.” Sam’s head jerks up to meet Donna’s eyes in surprise. “You can just keep that information to yourself, Sam Seaborn.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” He answers, and I see him smile for the first time since he walked in. “Maybe something good will come out of this after all.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I’ve met with all the principle players except Josh and the President. Josh I’ll meet with tomorrow morning, but I’m not going to get face time with the leader of the free world. Kind of a bummer. I’m a fan and it would be fascinating to talk to him in person. Maybe another time. 

From what I’ve been able to gather from friends and family; I spoke to his mother on the phone, Josh is a very complex man who’s been through a lot in his life. I’ve also learned that he’s stubborn and very, very clever. It looks like I’ll have my work cut out for me tomorrow. Then again, Donna told me about their plans to attend the Yo-Yo Ma concert this evening as part of the Congressional Christmas party. Maybe an evening full of music, food, friends, and a beautiful woman will put him in a great mood… 

TBC


	14. Angels and Demons

“Josh!” I yell. “It’s Matt. I’m not fucking around. Open the God damn door!” Nothing. “We’ve got to get him out of there.” I say to my companions. “Look at that window; he’s got to be hurt.” 

Chris starts pounding again and Mike pulls out his cell phone. Chris whips around to face Mike. “Don’t you dare call 9-1-1 until we know for sure if he needs it.” He orders. Damn, I didn’t know he had this kind of authoritative voice in him. “They’ll broadcast the address over the radio and any reporter with a scanner is going to show up outside.” 

“Donna, it’s Mike.” Mike says instead. “You have to come to Josh’s. It’s an emergency. He’s locked himself in the bathroom, we’re pretty sure he’s hurt, and we can’t get in. All right. I’ll see you in a few minutes.” He snaps his cell phone shut and glares at Chris. I don’t blame Chris. I kinda thought he was calling 9-1-1, too. 

“She’s pretty pissed at him.” I remind Mike. “They got in a fight at the thing.” 

“Yeah, but she still loves him.” He replies. “She’s on her way.” 

We attempt to get inside a few more times to no avail while we wait for Donna. Mike’s about ready to kick the door in, but we’re pretty much mutually agreed that any aggressive behavior on our part is probably a bad idea. 

Donna takes a very LONG 15 minutes to get here. 

Her eyes widen when she sees the window and her hand flies to her mouth. “What happened?” she whispers. 

“We have no idea.” Chris says. “We saw what happened at the thing and we came over here to check on him. We heard the glass break from outside the apartment. Matt used his key to get in. When we got inside, Josh disappeared into the bathroom and we can’t get him out. He’s not saying anything and we can’t hear anything.” 

God, what a lot for a girl to take on. But instead of being intimidated by this potentially volatile situation, instead of saying, hey, we’ve only been dating a few weeks, you guys are his best friends, she hunkers down and heads for the bathroom door and we part the way for her. 

She knocks softly. “Josh, it’s me.” She says through a shaky voice, and he doesn’t answer. God, I hope he’s conscious. “Baby, open the door and let me in. You’re freaking me out.” 

Silence. 

“Josh, you have to let me in. I’m sorry about our fight. I don’t really know what I did wrong, but I’m sorry.” She’s crying now. I can literally see her heartbreak. This might not have been such a good idea. “I just… please open the door, Josh. I love you so much and I just want to help you. I don’t want you to be in all this pain anymore.” 

Well, damn, if that doesn’t get a guy… 

“This isn’t working.” She mutters. She steps back and looks up. Then she hops up a bit and would you believe it? She pulls a little metal wire key down from the top of the door jamb. 

“I don’t fucking believe it.” I grumbled. We could have saved ourselves a lot of trouble. 

“We can’t all go in there.” Mike stops her hand before she turns the door knob. “He’s messed up and if the four of us go bounding in there, he’s really going to flip out.” 

“All right. I’ll go in alone.” She nods. “I’ll let you know what’s going on and let you know right away if I need any help.” 

That’s not the answer Mike was looking for, but he nods his head anyway. 

She opens the door a little and softly speaks through the crack. “Josh? Baby, I’m coming in, okay? It’s just me. I just want to make sure you’re all right.” 

When she doesn’t get a response, she slowly opens the door more, slips through and closes it behind her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Josh.” I say quietly and close the door softly behind me. He’s sitting on the floor with his back up against the tub and his eyes closed tight, his hand is haphazardly wrapped and bloody. 

I kneel down next to him, keeping my voice quiet and run my fingers through his hair. “Baby, what’d you do to your hand?” 

“Cut it.” 

“On what?” 

“The window.” He says simply. I’m not going to ask him how right now. The immediate focus is getting him out of here and getting him to some help, which I don’t think he’s going to do. 

“Are you all right?” I ask. Though the answer to that question is glaringly obvious. 

“It’s too much.” He whispers hoarsely. “It’s all too much.” He opens his eyes and looks at me. He looks scared and confused. “I can’t handle it anymore.” 

I slide my arm around his head and pull him to my chest where he latches on tightly. “I’m right here, Josh. I’m going to do everything I can to help you, okay?” 

“Every time I close my eyes, I’m back there. There’s screaming and shooting and sirens and then silence and then it all happens again.” 

“We’re going to talk to someone, Josh. You have to now; someone who knows about all this and can help you work through it. Josh, you just have to work through it. I promise you, you’ll come out on the other side.” 

He scoffs disbelievingly and looks at me. “And will you still be there when I do? Are you just going to sit and wait until I can get my shit together?” 

“No.” I say softly. “I’m going to be with you every step of the way.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I love you.” I whisper. 

He closes his eyes again and drops his head back. I lean over and kiss him on the temple, before moving back to the door to tell the others he’s okay…mostly. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“A doctor should be doing this.” Mike says for the tenth time and I wince as he picks another piece of glass out of my hand. 

“You keep saying that and I keep telling you I’m not going to the fucking emergency room tonight.” I angrily retort. How many times do I have to tell him this? 

“Eventually, Josh, you have to.” He insists. “It’s going to get infected. Then the First Lady’s going to get pissed, probably the Surgeon General and that’s nothing to say what Donna’s going to do.” 

“Leave Donna out of this.” I say softly. I know she’s still out in the living room with Matt and Chris. They’re trying to figure out what to do about the window now that the glass is all cleaned up. Mike was voted as the most remotely qualified to deal with my hand since he’s a field agent and deals with wounds and injuries occasionally. 

“She’s an A list lady.” He says. 

“I thought you didn’t like her.” 

“No, I think she’s great.” Mike replies immediately. “Especially now. I was worried about you getting involved with anyone right now. I mean, you were just getting back on your feet, back to work, you were all over the news where your entire life was splashed for weeks. Women can get sick ideas in their heads, like crazy Florence Nightingale shit, man. Plus, you were being touted as some hero. I just didn’t want to see you taken advantage of. If she was, you know, like someone you normally date, she would have taken all this stuff and run to The Washington Post.” 

“Danny Concannon would never print this.” 

“People out there would, Josh. Maybe Danny wouldn’t write it, but others at his paper looking for their 15 minutes would in a heartbeat.” 

This, unfortunately, is very true. 

“Donna’s not like that.” 

“Well, that’s glaringly obvious now.” He says as he squints to get another shard of glass. “But at first, she was just the hot new girl in Matt’s office.” 

“Hey, hey, hey! Don’t say things like that about her.” I say defensively. I mean, Donna IS hot, but I don’t want to hear about it from Mike. 

“I’m just saying.” 

“I don’t want you to say.” 

“You really are losing your mind, man.” He kids me. He sticks my hand under the water to wash away some blood, and I wince at first at the cold before he pulls my hand back out to get back to work. 

“Tell me about this guy I have to see. What do you know?” 

“I don’t know too much about him specifically, but the bureau uses ATVA all the time. They’re the American Trauma Victims Association.” 

“Can you find out about the guy?” 

“Before you see him in the morning? No.” He counters. 

“Who do they work with?” 

“Specifically trauma victims. This is the stuff they deal with. The pipe bomb at Lancaster Middle School, Hurricane Beth, the Chatham fires, the Iowa tornadoes and the shit we did in Rock Creek. All he’s going to want to do is talk about the shooting, that’s it. That’s all he’s interested in. He might bring a second person in to observe, sometimes they do that.” 

“Great.” I say completely unenthused. “What if he diagnoses me with something?” 

Mike laughs. “Oh, he’s definitely going to diagnose you with something, Josh. But he’s going to help you manage it, so what’s the big deal?” 

“My job is the big deal. I can’t appear unstable.” 

He looks me right in the eye and stops what he’s doing. “Then I suggest you work with the good doctor and get stable.” 

“Come on.” I scoff. I mean, I still have some dignity here. 

“Josh, what if that window was Donna?” he says bluntly. 

“What?” I ask softly. “I would never…” 

“Not consciously, no.” he agrees. “There’s something serious going on. You’re not going to lose your job, you’re not going to lose your friends and you’re not going to lose the girl. You have nothing to be afraid of.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I look down at him sleeping, my heart breaks for everything he’s been through. Ever. How does one person survive so much and then have to be put through this test? And now today, he has to get mentally poked by some stranger. That should go over real well. It’s part of Josh’s job to not show emotion, to not show when someone has the upper hand, to not give anything away. He needs to do this today, but it’s going to be ugly I think. 

I run my finger down his cheek, showing just a hint of hot morning stubble and then lean over and kiss his lips lightly and they quirk a bit. I smile as I see he’s going to play possum for a bit, and strangely, I find that erotic. I’m also okay with it after the night he’s had. And conveniently enough for me, he’s already naked. 

I start the kissing up at his forehead and work my way around his face. When I take his earlobe in my mouth, I feel his cheek twitch. He rumbles a bit when I kiss behind his ear, a particularly sensitive spot, but remains steadfast in his sleep feigning. I move to his neck and I don’t miss an inch before languorously covering his collarbone. When I move to his chest, my hands start a delightful exploration of their own and he lightly sucks in his breath as my hand lands on a rather awake part of his anatomy where my fingers start their own fun. 

It takes my lips a little while to catch up, since they’re being distracted by his fantastic chest and taking the scenic route around his stomach, but when my mouth finally joins my fingers, he sucks his breath in. 

“Are you going to wake up and play with me, or what?” 

“I thought I was dreaming.” He opens his eyes and gives me a lazy, sleepy smile. I can’t resist the adorableness of him right now, so I slide back up and kiss him good morning. What’s a little morning breath between lovers? 

He pushes my hair out of my face with one hand, while the other skims up and down my bare back. I sink down around him and he closes his eyes again. 

Dan used to watch t.v. during sex. I used to try desperately to keep his attention; try anything I could to show him I was better than that other girl I knew deep down that he was sleeping with. His body would physically react to mine, but emotionally there was nothing. 

Not so with Josh. 

With Josh, at the first intimate touch, he’s right there with me. Submersing himself completely in the things I’m doing to his body. 

He rolls us over and when I wrap my legs around his waist, it changes his angle and the feeling is insane. He tips his forehead against mine and kisses me lightly. “Joshua.” I groan as he increases his pace until I’m screaming his name. When I open my eyes, he is, of course, looking at me. When I whisper his name again, he resumes his movements and in a few moments, I feel him pulse and shudder inside me. 

He falls to my side and slides me close, kissing my bare shoulder. 

“Do you have dirty dreams about me often?” I toss saucily to him, running my finger down his cheek. 

“No. Well, yes, but I thought you’d slip out when I was sleeping.” 

“No, you didn’t.” I chuckle nervously, but when he doesn’t smile back, I’m amazed. And a little offended. “You really thought that?” 

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” He half shrugs. 

“Joshua!” 

“Who wants to date a guy with a mental disorder, Donna?” 

“I do, you jackass!” And I smack him on the shoulder to enunciate my point. “Did you not hear me tell you that I loved you? You don’t get it. You have been seamlessly woven into my entire existence, and I don’t know that I can even separate you from the rest of me anymore. I don’t know if I’d ever want to, Josh. And it may be a newsflash to you, but I actually figured out pretty early on that you’re flawed and I fell in love with you anyway.” 

He links his fingers with mine. “You saved my life.” He whispers, placing a light kiss on my collarbone. My body is super sensitive to him now and it’s starting to tingle. 

“No, I didn’t.” 

“Yes, you did, Donna.” He says. When he looks me in the eyes, I can see he’s dead serious. “You came into my life and slayed the demons, or beat them back anyway.” 

“Your friends were there for you.” 

“Yeah, but not like you are.” 

He drops a kiss on my breast and my fingers weave into his hair. “I should hope not.” I squeak and I can feel him chuckle against my skin, but when he looks up at me again, the seriousness is back. 

“I love you, too, Donna.” He whispers. “I fell in love with you the first day I met you when you changed my lunch. You just care so much and I want every bit of that. If I never do anything to hurt you again, Donna, I don’t think it’ll make up for some of the things I’ve said.” 

“Stop being so hard on yourself. I’m not as perfect as you make me out to be.” 

“Yes,” he says simply. “You are.” 

TBC


	15. Angels and Demons

“Donna. I told you I’d call when he was done.” Leo tells me and I look up to see him walking across the lobby. 

“I know. I just feel better waiting here.” I admit and shrug. Leo takes a seat next to me. 

“You did the right thing, Donna. You and his cohort of friends protected him as long as you could, gave him time to heal. Now it’s time to bring in the professional help. You did the right thing.” 

“Josh loves his job so much, Leo.” Yes, I’ve finally given up calling him Mr. McGarry. “He’s so proud of the work he does serving the President. If something I pushed him to do put that in jeopardy…” 

“It didn’t. It won’t.” Leo promises. “I hear you’ve added to your job security.” 

“Yes.” I agree and smile. Without a doubt, Josh shared my ‘news’ with everyone he’s come in contact with, with equal degrees of pride and disgust. Pride because in a short time I’ve earned a raise and a promotion; disgust because it’s in a Republican office. 

“He’s taking all kinds of shit for consorting with the enemy over here.” 

“LEO!” 

“I’m just saying, by way of demonstrating how far gone our boy is over you, that despite the amount of shit he takes, he still tells everyone he meets how well you’re doing over there. He’d like you to come work for the President.” Leo wiggles his eyebrows in a manner I recognize in his protégé. 

“I have a job, thank you.” I point out. 

“Well, when we knock the rest of the Republicans out of office and you’re out of work, remember I offered.” Leo teases. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I cast an anxious glance to the doors. “Should it be taking so long? Shouldn’t they be done by now?” 

“They are. I just met with Keyworth. Josh will be out any minute.” And true to his word, out steps Josh Lyman…and he’s…smiling? He’s smiling! 

“How'd it go?” Leo asks. 

“Did you two wait around for me?” 

Leo and I give him matching ‘duh’ looks. 

“He thinks I may have an eating disorder.” Josh smirks. 

“Josh.” Leo rolls his eyes. 

“And a fear of rectangles. That's not weird, is it?” Josh realizes the jokes are not playing to this audience and sobers up. He looks Leo directly in the eyes. “I didn't cut my hand on a glass. I broke a window in my apartment.” 

I swear to God, ladies, that if I hadn’t already been head over heels in love with this man, that right there would have clinched the deal for me. The courage it must have taken for him to say that to Leo; who’s been like a father to him… 

Leo gets up from his chair and walks closer to Josh and starts speaking in low tones to him. By his hand gestures I can tell that Leo’s telling him some story. I give them their privacy but I can see Josh’s face clearly and it has a look of wonder on it. Leo’s a good man. 

Then Leo raises his voice again to include me in the conversation and announces that I’m taking him to the emergency room. Josh is predictably thrilled by that news. Nonetheless, after a token protest, he takes my hand with this good one and allows me to take him to his car where we drive to the nearest ER. On the way, he fills me in on Keyworth’s diagnosis and treatment plan. It’s nothing I didn’t suspect after my online research and conversations with Mike. What? He talks to me all the time now. I was surprised by the music connection, but after I thought about the frequency of headaches and episodes, I could see that they had almost all been set off by music. Even our first dinner date. 

Sitting in the emergency room on Christmas Eve is not a fun prospect to begin with but when you add a whining Josh…let’s just say I’ve been tempted to drop him off and leave. 

“Donna…” He whines. Here we go again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Yes, Joshua.” Uh-oh. That’s her, ‘I’ve just about had it with you’ tone of voice. I haven’t heard it often, but like any male with working brain cells I made note of it when I’ve heard it before; mostly when I’m telling her how she’s wasting her talents in the office of a Republican. 

“Never mind.” I shut up immediately. I owe her so much already, and here she sits in the ER on Christmas Eve because of me and I…I shut up. 

“I’m sure it won’t be much longer.” She softens her tone. 

“I hate being here.” I mutter. “Hospitals make me crazy since…” 

“If there was an alternative…” She trails off just as my name is called to go back to the treatment area. I stand up to walk back, but my knees literally buckle. I can’t move. God, how embarrassing is that? 

Donna stands up next to me and takes my good hand. “It’s our turn, honey.” She pulls on my arm and I reluctantly follow her. The nurse stops us at the threshold though. 

“We usually just have patients in the treatment room until they’re seen by the doctor. But then we can call you back, if you’d like, Mrs. Lyman.” She tells us. 

“No, that’s okay. I’ll just go in with him now.” Donna says sweetly without correcting her title and passes right by her. The nurse looks like she’s going to object for a moment, but then decides it’s not worth it. 

“Step into treatment room 8, then.” She sighs. 

“Thanks. This must be a long night for you, on Christmas Eve. Are you at the beginning or the end of your shift?” Donna asks and the nurse turns quizzically toward Donna. 

“It’s near the beginning, but I’ll be off in time to see my girls wake up and open presents in the morning so this isn’t so bad.” The nurse responds. I’m always amazed at Donna’s ability to connect with people wherever we go. This is just another example. “Let’s take a look at your laceration, Mr. Lyman.” She holds her hand out and I put my injured hand in hers, but I look away when she unwraps it. 

“How old are your girls?” Donna asks the nurse. 

“Four and six. I swear they get bigger every night while they’re sleeping. But that’s kids for you.” The nurse adds. “Have you two got any children?” 

Her question startles me until I remember that she thinks we’re married. Donna doesn’t even hesitate before she answers though. 

“Not yet. But I hope soon.” Donna gives me a smoldering look and I can’t find my breath. Kids with Donna? A daughter with blond hair and blue eyes? Yeah, I can totally picture that. I meet her eyes and a slow smile creeps across my face. I’m so distracted by this thought that I’m caught completely by surprise when the nurse starts to pick glass out of my open wound. 

“Ah!” I jerk my hand away and glare at the nurse I was beginning to think of as nice. 

“Sorry, I’m sure it must be tender but we need to get all the glass out before the doctor can stitch it up.” 

“Are you sure it needs stitches?” I squeak. 

“As you can see here, the wound is gaping a bit and it’s located on the palm of your hand so unless we stitch it up, it won’t be able to close and heal and you’ll be dealing with a painful infection. I’m going to inject something to numb the area.” The nurse explains, but I can’t see ‘here’ because I’m avoiding looking at my hand. If I see any more blood or…flesh…God, I can already feel my stomach rolling. 

Once again, my angel comes to my rescue. 

She turns my head toward her and plants a kiss on my lips. “It will be over soon and then we can go home and celebrate Christmas. I have a special present for you.” 

“A present?” Yeah, that will distract me. I feel the nurse injecting something into my hand and then start digging around in it again but I do my best to ignore it. Just focus on Donna. 

“A couple presents actually.” She teases. 

“A couple?” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“What are they?” 

“Like that’s going to work.” She scoffs at my feeble attempt to get her to spill. 

“A hint then…come on, one hint.” 

“Absolutely not. You’ll be lucky to get to open them when we get home. We’ll see how well you behave for the doctor, first.” 

“You’re threatening me with my Christmas presents if I’m not a ‘good boy’?” I ask. 

“Well that just makes it sound like you’re 5 doesn’t it?” Donna quips. 

“In my experience, Mrs. Lyman, there’s not much difference between husbands and five year olds.” The nurse chuckles and Donna chuckles with her! I’m about to get pissed when I see Donna’s eyes twinkle at mine. And I have to say, now that I’ve heard it a couple times, I’m getting used to hearing her referred to as Mrs. Lyman. And I like it. 

“I think if I’ve been good enough all year to earn Christmas presents, you shouldn’t be able to yank them away in the 11th hour if some doctor gets a little rough.” I declare. 

“And this comes from your long line of experience with Christmas presents being, you know, Jewish?” Donna counters. 

“I’m surrounded by Christians. I know how the present deal is supposed to work.” I shoot back. “I’m on the nice list.” 

“Let’s ask some members of Congress about that, shall we?” Donna asks. 

“Nuh-uh. They don’t get to make the list, thank God, only the big guy at the North Pole.” I object. 

The nurse laughs again. “You’re all set. The doctor will be right in to take care of the stitches.” 

“Thanks. And have a Merry Christmas with your family tomorrow.” Donna tells her before she leaves. 

“You didn’t have to get me Christmas presents, Donna.” I say quietly. We’ve been exchanging Hanukah gifts; which has been very nice, but I didn’t expect that either. 

“You don’t give Christmas presents because you have to; or at least you shouldn’t.” Donna tells me. “If this is because you don’t have a Christmas gift for me-“ 

“It isn’t! I do have one for you.” I object and see her eyes soften again. I love putting that look in her eyes. 

“You do?” 

“Of course I do, Donna. What kind of a schmuck would I be if I didn’t get you a present? Especially after you’ve done so much to make Hanukah special.” I continue. “Everyday special, actually.” 

That does it, her tears spill over and I’m practically mauled on the treatment bed. I love this woman so much. 

“Is this kissing it all better? Do you not need me anymore?” An amused doctor asks us from the doorway. 

We break apart like teenagers caught necking on the porch by a parent. 

“I feel much better.” I point out. 

“I bet you do.” The doctor gives Donna a look like she could make him feel better. Too late; she’s mine. 

“Truly. I think the nurse got all the glass out, and I feel much better so we could probably skip the stitches.” I try again. 

“Ah, well, since I’m here anyway, how about I take a look?” The doctor suggests. 

“No, thank you.” I put my hand behind my back. 

“Christmas presents…” Donna says quietly. 

“That is SO unfair.” I mutter but produce my hand for the doctor’s inspection. 

“But it works…on all ages.” Smart aleck doctor adds. 

“We’re going to need a few stitches.” 

“How many is a few?” I ask. 

“Eight or ten.” He answers and reaches for the suture kit on the table. 

“Eight or ten is NOT a few.” I argue. 

“Joshua…” Donna sighs. 

“They’re not! Three or four, maybe five, could get away with being called a few, but eight or ten is NOT a few!” I rant. “Jesus! If I put that kind of crap in legislation I would be fired!” 

“Luckily you choose your words with much greater care.” Donna says, but I think she’s being sarcastic. 

“When I’m writing laws, I do.” I insist. 

“The amendment in 352 was an abysmal mess of words.” She argues. 

“It was NOT!” 

“Oh, please. I know 10 year olds who could have put together a more coherent sentence.” 

“It got bloated because REPUBLICANS insisted on putting a cap in there.” 

“And then the DEMOCRATS had to include a sliding scale for the caps.” She counters. 

“Which we wouldn’t have needed at all if the REPUBLICANS would keep their superior noses out of my budget!” I’m getting pretty riled, but that bill was my baby, so, come on! 

“Someone has to keep your spending in check.” She says. 

“Are you kidding me with this crap? Are you secretly a Republican?” 

“No, I’m simply saying that there’s a reason for a two party system that includes checks and balances.” 

“Thanks for the 5th grade social studies lesson, Donnatella, but I happen to think that it’s more a case of gridlock than checks and balances; especially if the REPUBLICANS can score cheap political points with it.” 

“It’s hard to believe you two were engaged in tonsil hockey when I walked in a few minutes ago.” The doctor interrupts us. 

“Just…stitch my hand with your ‘few stitches’ so we can get out of here, will you?” I demand. 

“I’m already halfway done.” He announces and I do a double take. “You were a little distracted.” 

“I guess.” I answer. 

“Arguing politics is more like foreplay for us.” Donna explains and the doctor shakes his head. 

“I HATE working in D.C.” He mumbles but returns to his task while I turn red and green at the same time. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

We get home a little after midnight; it’s officially Christmas, but it doesn’t feel like any Christmas I’ve ever experienced. Maybe exchanging gifts will bring some of the joy back to what can only be described as a hellish week. 

Josh’s hand is now throbbing a bit, so I’ve gotten one of the pain pills the doctor prescribed and a glass of water to wash it down with while he went into the bedroom to undress. When I get there he’s struggling with his shirt buttons and the exhaustion, both physical and emotional, is apparent on his face. 

“Here, let me help.” I offer and quickly help him shed his shirt and the rest of his clothes before he collapses onto the bed. I give him the pill and the water and then rush off to find his hidden gifts. 

When I return and dump the presents unceremoniously in his lap he looks up at me with a strange expression on his face. 

“I thought you opened gifts Christmas morning in your family.” 

“We’re starting a new tradition.” I explain. “And you were very brave with the stitches. Open them.” I encouraged him. He rips at the paper but it’s awkward with his stitched up hand so I help a bit. 

“Donna.” He laughs. It’s a book about the state of Wisconsin, complete with maps and inane trivia. 

“I figured if you’re going to brave the wilds of the Midwest with me, you ought to know about where you’re going.” I tease. “Open the next one. The next one is the serious one.” 

“There’s a more serious present than a book about Wisconsin?” 

“Just open it before I lose my patience and take it back.” 

“I’m opening it, I’m opening it.” He again struggles with the paper, but since this box is much bigger he’s able to rip off the wrapping paper himself. “A Mets jersey?” 

“Not just a Mets jersey.” I assure him and unfold it so he can see the addition. 

“Mike Piazza signed this?” His eyes bug out. “How did you get your hands on-" 

“I’m not telling.” I reply smugly. “You like it?” 

“Like it? It’s incredible!” He kisses me gently. “Especially since you consider my fascination with the Mets lame.” He smiled to tell me he knew my story with Mike was full of shit. “Hold on. I’ve got to get your present.” 

He disappeared for a minute and returned with a small unwrapped box in his hands. “I didn’t wrap it because I suck at wrapping but…” he hands me the box sheepishly. “It’s not skis.” 

“No kidding.” I raise my eyebrows at the size of the box. He got me several ski accessories over Hanukah, but I am still ski-less. 

“I got this for you when the President kidnapped me to go Christmas shopping the other day.” This raises my curiosity, so I quickly open the box and pull out a book. 

“The Art and Artistry of Alpine Skiing.” I read the title and smile. 

“It’s ABOUT skiing.” Josh notes and hurries to add the details. “And it has a molted calf cover and original drab boards.” 

“Is that good?” I ask. 

“The President said it was.” He assures me. 

“Well, he would know.” I agree. 

“I wrote an inscription.” He confesses and I open the cover to read his heartfelt words inside. They simply make me melt. 

“I don’t know what means more, the gift or the words inside. Thank you.” I take his face in my hands and kiss him. “I’m going to find a special place to keep it at home.” 

“Keep it here.” He suggests. “I mean this is sort of our home now, isn’t it?” 

“I guess it is.” I agree and kiss him again. Then I see his eyes drooping. “Let’s get you into bed.” 

“It’s always about sex with you, Donnatella.” He laughs. I love the sound of his laugh. 

“Well I just can’t get enough, Joshua.” I tease him back and pull the covers over him. I quickly shed my clothes and join him under the comforter. This isn’t the way I’d pictured us spending our first Christmas Eve together but Christmas morning was starting off just fine. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Put the work away.” I repeat. “Our guests will be here any minute.” 

“I didn’t invite them.” Josh points out. 

“That’s because you have the social skills of a 5th grader…who’s immature for their age.” 

“Hey!” 

“Put it away. I put mine away hours ago.” I remind him. 

“No, you didn’t ‘put it away’. You put it on my desk in my office. It’s just sitting there ready for you to dive into it again.” 

“But I won’t. Now put yours away, too.” I insist. I’m not sure what’s got his panties in a twist about this. I thought he’d like having everyone over for New Years Eve and he’s been doing better this past week. I know it’s early days yet, but having a set appointment with a therapist and having Stanley on speed dial (not to mention being assured that he was in no danger of losing his job) seems to have helped Josh relax quite a bit. Or maybe it’s been the absence of music. Not a note has played here since we got home from the ER on Christmas Eve. I think all of it is helping him, which is why I can’t figure out why he’s being such a pill about having his friends over. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fine.” I agree to put the work away. Maybe the tone is a little petulant but this is not how I envisioned spending this evening. I know Donna was just trying to be nice and I like spending time with my friends, but I had other plans for tonight and this just squashed them like a bug. 

I pile up all my shit and decide if she doesn’t have to put her stuff away, then neither do I. I can just pile my stuff on top of her pile. I walk into the office and do just that; except that causes both piles of shit to topple onto the floor. Great. 

I start to re-assemble the piles when my eyes fall on some polling data. Lots of polling data. Tons of polling data. Okay, the fav/unfav stuff on Matt I get. Congressmen are constantly polling these numbers. But she’s got stuff here on bills we haven’t even introduced yet. Stuff I’ve shared with her in passing. What the hell? I page through some more pages and see polling numbers on the President, C.J., Leo, and me. I’m about to yell for Donna, when there’s a knock at the door. 

“Josh, Sam and Ainsley are here.” Donna calls. Great; more Republicans. 

“Hey.” I greet them and throw a look at Donna who looks completely innocent and happy. This just can’t be right. I think about the ring box hidden in the office and my stomach turns. I know I’ve been…off, but there’s no way I misjudged Donna on something like this. Then again, I’ve been used by women for political gains before when my head wasn’t messed up. 

“Happy New Year.” Sam offers. 

“It’s not New Year’s yet, Samuel.” Ainsley points out. 

“Close enough. It’s going to be a great year.” He continues like his ‘good feeling’ about the New Year is enough to wish it into being. Most of the time, I enjoy, or can at least tolerate, Sam’s optimism but tonight… 

“We’ll see.” I answer cryptically and Donna looks at me strangely. 

“Let me take your coats. Food should be here soon.” Donna tries to cover for my ugly mood. In the interest of keeping things simple, we ordered in. 

It doesn’t take long before my place is filled with people. Donna has fixed Mike up with Sherry for the evening and I think that’s a major mistake, but she just rolled her eyes at me and said she had a sense about these things. Matt begged off claiming other plans, but I wonder now if that was just an excuse. C.J. and Toby just arrived so we’ve got quite the crowd. The TV is on, but there’s no sound. Donna strikes again. She’s tiptoeing around me making sure nothing upsets my delicate psyche. It’s getting on my nerves. So I walk over to the remote and pointedly turn up the sound so we can all enjoy the music on the New Year’s Eve program. 

I purposefully avoid Donna’s gaze but I can see her brow furrow in my periphery. I can handle a little music, Donna. 

“Can I get anyone else another drink?” I ask on my way to the kitchen. 

“I’ll take another.” Toby hands me his glass on my out of the room. Within seconds, Donna follows me. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“You seem…upset.” 

“Probably just my mental disorder.” I quip but Donna is not amused. 

“That’s not funny, Josh.” 

“Neither is having my home invaded.” 

“I ASKED you if it was okay to invite everyone.” 

“What was I supposed to say?” 

“The truth would have been nice.” 

“You’re going to lecture me about the truth?” I lash out. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

“You with your...surreptitious use of the mute button…and making CD’s disappear…and checking on me every five minutes like I’m a ticking time bomb.” The words are just flowing now. I’m on a roll. “And your secret polling data…” 

“My secret-“ She breaks off as she realizes what I’m talking about. “It’s not my polling data, Joshua, it came from the RNC.” 

“Of course it is, since you work for THEM.” She blinks. Maybe it was a little loud. “But you brought it into MY HOME.” 

“Hey, it’s getting a loud in here.” Mike breaks into our argument. “Everything okay?” 

“Ask her.” I direct him. “She can give you the unfavorables of almost everyone in the room.” 

“Joshua!” She tries to stop me. 

“Maybe you just can’t help the coddling. Maybe you need someone who needs you, I don’t know. But I don’t need someone running opposition research on me from inside my home!” 

“You told me on Christmas it was our home.” She says quietly. “But I can fix that easily enough.” 

She turns on her heel and leaves the room. Mike is just staring at me with his jaw on the floor so I avoid looking at him and pour Toby’s drink. I can hear her making noise in the next room and then a minute later I hear the front door slam. 

“Josh? What the hell just happened?” Mike asks. 

Good question… 

TBC


	16. Angels and Demons

“MATTHEW OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR!” I pound fiercely on my best friend’s door. The man I’ve known since I was seven years old. I was the first person he came out to. He was the one to convince me to go to Harvard. I was the one who convinced him to get back on his fucking bike when he road it into a tree. He was the one who told me to get my shit together when Leo actually DID make me Deputy and I was freaking out that I couldn’t do the job. 

And the man I just left a house full of people to come over here and fucking pummel over setting all this up in the first place. I never would have met Donna if it wasn’t for this man. 

The door opens and Matt’s in a t-shirt and flannel pants rubbing his eyes. 

“What the hell?” he demands. 

“That’s what I’d like YOU to explain.” I snap pushing past him. 

“I thought you were having people over tonight?” He asks. 

“I’ve got a house full of people!” I shout. “People who were a bit confused over my slamming out of the house, after Donna did, by the way, and leaving them there.” 

“Josh, calm down and tell me what’s going on.” 

“I’M NOT GOING TO FUCKING CALM DOWN!” I shout. His eyes widen. “I found Donna’s polling data.” 

He arches an eyebrow at me. “That’s the RNC’s polling data.” 

“What the hell is Donna doing with it?” I demand. 

“Her job.” 

“And what exactly IS her job now, Matt! What have you two been keeping from me?” 

“Matt?” Comes a third voice. My eyes widen and I’m speechless as a totally unfamiliar guy wanders out of Matt’s bedroom similarly dressed. 

“Uh…sorry, Scott.” Matt says waving a hand back and forth between me and him. “I have a bit of a situation here.” 

“It looks like it.” This guy Scott says. 

“You’re DATING?” I finally squeak to Matt. 

Scott’s eyes widen and he looks over at Matt. “Um…I didn’t really realize that you still had someone… this is really awkward.” 

“NO!” Matt says quickly jumping up. “Scott, this is Josh.” 

“Oh!” Scott looks very relieved. “It’s nice to finally meet you. Matt’s told me a lot about you.” 

“Scott, could you give us a few minutes?” Matt asks and Scott smiles and disappears, then Matt pushes me into the kitchen. 

“What the hell!?” I demand. “You didn’t tell me you were seeing anyone. I didn’t know you were thinking about dating again. I thought you were going, like, celibate after Jason.” I’m peeking around the kitchen to see if I can get a glimpse of this guy again, but Matt yanks me back. 

Matt’s eyes widen a bit in surprise and now I feel really bad for bringing Jason up. Jason was a guy Matt dated for a while; not like years, but about six or seven months. Matt really liked him, but Jason got killed in a car accident. This was a couple of years ago and Matt was pretty devastated and hadn’t dated since. 

“Josh, this is a part of my life that you’ve always just accepted but were always a little freaked out about.” Matt begins. “You’ve been going through a lot of shit…” 

“Oh, come on!” 

“You’ve been going through a lot of shit…” he says again. “And you get freaked when you’re on your game. I didn’t want to, you know, send you around the bend.” 

“What’s he do?” 

“Can we get back to the other thing first?” he retorts. “You have a house full of people.” 

Oh yeah. I’m royally pissed at this guy. “What the hell are you and Donna doing polling me?” 

“The RNC routinely polls you all.” 

“Why do YOU have it?” 

“They want me to step up.” Matt says. 

“What?” 

“They’re going to put me out front on a lot more stuff.” 

“It’s a ploy.” I say immediately. 

“Yes, I know.” He smirks. 

“They want to throw the White House off its game by hitting us with my best friend.” 

“I’m aware of that.” he says. “They obviously don’t understand how you and I work.” 

“*I* don’t understand how you and I work right now, Matt!” I shout. 

“Are you SURE everything’s okay out here?” Scott says appearing in the kitchen and looking quite concerned. 

“Yes.” Matt immediately says. 

“What do you do for a living?” I jump on my opportunity. 

“Josh!” Matt immediately scolds me. “Scott, I just need a few more minutes.” 

Scott turns around and leaves the kitchen and Matt glares at me. What? Matt’s like my brother. I’m not going to let him date just anybody. 

“Why is it such a secret?” I ask. 

“Scott or the polling data?” 

“Both.” 

“It’s not. Scott’s an accountant; I asked for the polling data because I’m putting together an exploratory committee.” 

For the third time tonight, I am completely speechless. I’m so shocked, I sit down. “For what?” I ask quietly. And he looks at me until I get what I already knew when I asked the question. 

“You want to challenge President Bartlet in two years?” 

“No!” he says. “In six years, I’m considering challenging the democratic nominee.” 

“That’s…” I need a coherent thought here. “…the Speaker hates you.” 

“I know.” Matt laughs. He looks a little relieved. I start to think of Matt as a Presidential candidate. “You’re going to run as a Republican?” 

“Independent.” 

And the hits just keep on coming. 

“Why six years? Why not two?” 

“The guy I need to run my campaign and do this with me isn’t available in two years.” 

“Who?” 

“YOU! You idiot! I’d never ask you to run against Bartlet and I need that time anyway.” 

“Donna knows you’re running in six years?” 

“No. Donna knows that the RNC wants me to be the face of like half the agenda. I didn’t want to put her in that kind of a position.” He says and I run a hand down my face. I feel like such an idiot. “Josh, this all just happened and it happened fast and I wanted to make sure you were back on track before I told you. It was never my intention to keep any of it from you. But your wellbeing has been my priority since August. She doesn’t know the big picture. She was just pulling out the information I was asking her to.” 

“Okay.” I say standing up. “I need to digest this. And I have to find Donna and beg for eternal forgiveness…again…and you have your boy toy in there...” 

“Knock it off.” 

“Seriously, man. How long have you been seeing him?” 

“A couple of weeks.” 

“Am I going to actually be able to meet him?” 

“Yes.” 

“I have to find Donna.” I say walking to his door. 

“What about your house full of people?” 

I turn to him with my hand on the doorknob. “I have to find Donna.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay. Josh has called me about three times and now, he’s rambling into the machine about coming over and pounding on the door until I allow him to adequately beg for my forgiveness. 

“I’m sorry, Donna. I talked to Matt and I’m so sorry. I’m repentant! I want to grovel adequately where you can make me do things and manipulate me until your heart’s content! Please, please pick up! I know you’re there. Donna, I’m just… I’m sorry… I was…” 

I can’t take it any more. I snatch the phone up. “An asshole, Josh! You were an asshole.” 

“You’re so beautiful.” He says in reply. 

“You are not at the sucking up part!” I reply. “How could you automatically assume that I, of all people, and Matt of even more people, are out to screw you?” 

“I’m not a nice person, Donna! I have no idea what you see in me.” 

“At the moment, neither do I!” 

“I just thank God every day for you. Every time I take a breath in, I thank God that you’re in my life.” 

“Stop.” I order as my eyes fill with tears. 

“You’re just so amazing, Donna.” He continues softly. My tears are flowing freely. If you could hear how soft and tender his voice was, you’d know it’s pretty hard not to forgive this man when he apologizes. “I was already upset because I had plans for us tonight, but I can’t say no to you, and I really wanted this night to go so incredibly different.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I don’t want to tell you over the phone, baby. Please let me come there and I’ll grovel and tell you all about it and I’ll show you how sorry I am with the best make up sex you’ve ever had in your life.” 

“I don’t know, Joshua. You were a pretty big asshole and your offenses this time were many.” I’m unconvincing though, as I really have moved past the forgiving and allowed him to move to the sucking up phase. 

“I love you?” 

“I love you, too, Joshua. But as I said, there were many offenses.” 

“What if I told you jewelry was involved?” 

“Jewelry, really?” I think I’d be interested to see the kind of jewelry Josh gives a girl. 

“Uh-huh.” 

I pause…for effect really. “You are permitted to come grovel in person.” 

“Good because I’m almost there.” He says. 

“I knew it.” I sigh. 

“I was shamelessly planning on your devotion to me there.” 

“That’s not earning you points. Hurry up.” I hang the phone up and smile a bit. 

I’m not as pissed as I was, but he’ll still have his work cut out for him when he gets here. I’m not going to give in early, unless he busts this mysterious jewelry out early on. Then I might have to cave. Josh has got a lot of money. It’s sure to be pretty, so we might have to skip the groveling and go to the make up sex at that point. 

The doorbell rings and I move to let him in, not taking the time to wonder why he isn’t using his key. 

I open the door with an enormous smile on my face. 

It falls quickly. 

“Dan!” 

TBC


	17. Angels and Demons

I don’t care what the salespeople tell you, there haven’t been a pair of skis invented that are ‘easy to transport’. Yes, I got her skis, and since I was a tremendous ass earlier, I figured I better cough them up now if I have a hope in hell of convincing her to give me another chance. Yes, I have the jewelry in my pocket too, but I decided I’m not using that as bargaining chip. That’s a separate item that has many strings attached. 

My phone starts to vibrate in my pocket, and I’d normally ignore it, but the people in my life get very nervous when I don’t answer the phone these days. 

“Josh Lyman.” 

“Why aren’t you at your apartment with your guests?” 

“Mom?” 

“You tell me Donna wants to spend Christmas in D.C. and you tell me you can’t come for New Year’s because you’re having everyone over at your place. Now I call to wish my son Happy New Year’s and Sam tells me you had to step out for a bit.” 

“Mom --” I stop in the hallway of Ainsley’s building and lean the skis against the wall. This was going to be a long conversation and I wasn’t going to be holding the skis the whole time. 

“So then I ask to talk to that sweet girl you’ve tricked into seeing you and Sam says she had to step out too.” Sarah paused for a breath. “What the hell is going on over there Joshua?” 

“We…did have to step out for a bit. But we’ll be back there shortly.” 

“What did you do?” Mom asks. 

“I- Look, it was a misunderstanding and I’m fixing it.” 

“Oh, Lord.” 

“I can fix things. I’m very good at fixing things.” I protest. 

“Political things, sure. You have incredible political skills. But this…” 

“I’m fixing it and then we’ll be back at the party in no time.” I assure her. Then because I know I’ve worried her a ton this last few months, I decide to throw her a bone. “Besides, this works out well because I wanted a little privacy for this.” 

“You can’t leave your guests to have sex with Donna, Josh.” 

“Mother!” 

“It’s very rude. Why can’t men have any patience about these things?” Mom continued. 

“It’s NOT about sex, Jeez!” I huff, but because she mentioned sex with Donna I get distracted for a few seconds. “I need privacy to ask her something; something important. Something that involves a ring.” Take that, Mom. 

“A…a ring?” I hear mom gasp. “You had better not be teasing me about this Joshua Lyman, or so help me --” 

“I’m not.” I tell her and I can hear her sniff. “I thought you’d be happy about this.” 

“I am! I truly am happy, it’s just that I haven’t even met her yet.” Mom complains. 

“I know…that’s my fault.” I admit. “But you’re really going to love her.” 

“I’ve enjoyed talking to her over the phone and she takes very good care of you, so I already do.” 

“I was…going to ask her to go away for a skiing weekend. No reason we couldn’t do that in Connecticut.” I offer. 

“This weekend?” I hear the hope in my mother’s voice. I owe her big. 

“Yes, this weekend.” I promise. 

“Well, don’t just stand there talking to an old woman. Go fix things with Donna so I can see you both this weekend.” Mom unceremoniously hangs up on me. I roll my eyes out of habit and pick up my heavy burden again. Why the hell does Ainsley have to live on the fifth floor? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dan, what are you doing here?” Why the hell didn’t I check the peep hole before I opened the damn door? Because I was SO sure it was Josh and I was very anxious to see him. Dan’s eyes look a little glassy. Is he drunk? Shit. 

“I came for you, Donnatella.” He slurs it and even when he’s sober it doesn’t sound as wonderful rolling off his tongue as it does rolling off Josh’s. Josh will be here any minute…any second. I don’t close the door all the way, not that Doctor Dan notices in his state. 

“We were done a long time ago, Dan. Why would you come all the way to D.C., on New Year’s Eve, for God’s sake?!” 

“I screwed up.” 

“No shit.” 

“I made a mistake, Donna. Nothing’s been the same since you left.” 

“It must have been a huge change of pace for you not having me to pay all your bills and take all your shit.” I reply emboldened by his groveling. It may turn out that I get two men groveling for my forgiveness. This could be fun. 

“It’s been awful. I can’t do this without you, Donna. I need you.” 

“And I needed you to be faithful.” No mercy, Daniel. 

“I’ve learned from my mistake.” 

“Mistakes. Plural. And so have I.” I remind him. 

“I’m begging you for another chance here, Donnatella. Why won’t you forgive me?” 

I have to stop and give that serious thought. My conversation now isn’t all that different from my conversation with Josh earlier. Why am I so willing to forgive Josh but not Dan? For one thing, Dan’s betrayal was repeated, personal, and sexual. Josh’s sin, if we’re calling it that, is lashing out at me and given what he’s dealing with, I’m not certain that his behavior has been within his control. Sam told me about how Josh lost it in the Oval office with the President. There is nobody, besides Leo maybe, that Josh reveres more than the President. If he couldn’t control his emotions in the Oval, with the President, it’s unreasonable to think he can hold it together for the rest of us 24/7. 

I thought I loved Dan. I trusted him with my body, my heart and my bank account and he betrayed all three. When you love someone and they- that’s the other thing. Once I fell in love with Josh it made what I felt for Dan pale in comparison. I felt ridiculous for ever having confused what I felt for Dan with love. This revelation fills me with a great sense of peace. Now I really want Josh to come through that door so I can tell him about my lightbulb moment. I glance over at the door in anticipation, but Dan seems to have misread my gesture. 

“Is your cousin coming home soon? We can go somewhere private. I’ve got a room in town. We can talk and…patch things up…start over…” Dan trails his finger up my arm. It sends shivers down my spine, but not the good kind. Again, in his inebriated state, he misunderstands my reaction. 

“I’ve missed you so much.” Dan leans down and whispers in my ear. Ewwww. 

“Dan, no.” I push him away. “I’m not interested in patching things up.” 

“Donna…come back home with me. You don’t belong in D.C., you’re not like your cousin.” Dan tells me and that gets my attention. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

“You’re not a power hungry, intellectual, political type.” Dan shrugs and tugs on my hand with his other hand. “Your mind doesn’t work like that. You belong back in Wisconsin.” 

“I belong here.” I tell him steadfastly. 

“Right.” Dan scoffs. “Look, if you really want to be a secretary or something, we’ve got offices back home. Hell, once I’m done with med school, you can work in my office.” He smiles at the generosity of his offer and leans down to kiss my neck. 

“Having observed how closely you like to work with your STAFF, I’m sure you think that’s a compliment, but that’s not what I had in mind.” I push him away. 

“Donna…we were made for each other. We’re perfect together. We always have been.” He’s now following me around the living room while I try to retreat. He’s not scaring me or anything. I could be up the stairs and behind a locked door before his drunken ass got halfway there. He’s just annoying me now. 

“No, we haven’t been perfect together; I was a perfect patsy for you. There’s a difference.” I explain, but he’s not having any of it. 

“It’ll be different this time.” He promises and I laugh. If I had a dollar for every time he told me THAT line. Somewhere in his drunken haze he registers my laugh. “I mean it. We’ll start over. It’ll be great!” 

“It would not be great; it would be terrible. I’m happy here.” I assure him. 

“In D.C.? As a secretary to some Congressman? Please. That’s not the life for you.” He tries to cajole. “What does D.C. have that Wisconsin doesn’t have?” He asks. 

“Me for one.” Josh’s voice registers from behind me and my head whips around to meet his eyes. “Am I interrupting something?” 

“Josh!” The relief in my voice probably sounds greater than it needs to, but I am SO happy to see him. 

“Jeez, Donna, it’s a little skanky to invite two men over on New Year’s Eve. I think you’re going to have to pick one of us and send the other on his way.” 

“Who the hell are you?” Dan gets in his face. Dan gets…belligerent when he gets drunk. 

“Josh Lyman, Deputy Chief of Staff to the President of the United States. Who the hell are you?” Josh returns fire…and I get a little heated. Damn, he is hot when he’s like this. 

“Dan.” 

“Freeride?” Josh asks and then turns to me for confirmation when Dan doesn’t know how to respond to that. I nod grudgingly. 

“Oh, this is too good to be true.” Josh literally rubs his hands together after he drops a pair of skis on the floor. Wait a second! Skis? “I’ve been praying for this opportunity but I never thought you’d deliver yourself right here to me. Santa just came a little late this year.” 

“Fuck off, man. This is between Donna and me.” 

“No, see anything that has to do with Donna concerns me too.” 

“How do you figure that?” 

“Because I’m going to marry her, you asshole.” Josh replies and I feel my mouth drop open. “So let’s just get a couple of things straight. You don’t visit her, you don’t talk to her, and you certainly don’t THINK about her. You keep these rules straight and you won’t have to answer any questions from the F.B.I.” 

“The F.B.I? What the hell?” Dan’s confusion is showing. I’m pretty sure Josh means Mike, but we can keep that our little secret. 

“You’d do best to get the hell out of Dodge and slink back into whatever cheesehead hole you slunk out of.” Josh threatens. 

“Who’s going to make me, you?” Dan sneers. Oh, God. This can’t end well. 

“Hell, yes.” Josh gets in his face and I have to cover my eyes with my hands. Dan is strong; really strong. He’ll turn Josh into roadkill. The only advantage Josh has right now is that he is sober and Dan is drunk. That’s not enough of an advantage. 

Dan winds up, and the swing is good! It connects with the side of Josh’s face. Josh staggers but stays upright. “Josh!” I cry out, but he holds up a hand to keep me away from him. 

“Dan ****** stop this, this instant!” I demand. 

Dan turns to me to respond and Josh picks up the lamp on the end table and uses it to whack Dan across the back of the head. Dan goes down for the count. I look up at Josh in amazement. 

“You…you just knocked him out cold with the lamp!” I report. 

“I had to. He would have beaten the shit out of me.” Josh protests, thinking I’m angry with him. Instead I propel myself into his arms being cautious of his face. That face is going to bruise. 

“Are you okay? You were so brave, trying to protect me.” I kiss him soundly. 

“Trying to? I think I succeeded there, Donnatella.” He smirks and then winces from the pain the smirk causes. 

“I’d say you did.” I kiss him again and pull him into a tight hug. “Thanks for coming to my rescue.” 

“You’ve come to my rescue several times already. It only seems fair that I return the favor.” Josh murmurs into my hair. “I’m sorry about before.” 

“I know. I know you are.” I assure him. Then it hits me. “Josh….are those skis on the floor?” 

I can feel him chuckle. “Yeah, there was a pair on sale, so I thought I’d get them for anybody who might be looking for some skis.” 

“I’m looking for some skis.” I remind him. 

“Oh, yeah, I vaguely remember something about that. Well then, I suppose I could sell them to you…for the right price.” He offers. 

“What’s the right price?” I ask and he pulls me far enough from him enough that he can look into my eyes. 

“Marry me.” He says point blank. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God, I can’t believe I just blurted it out that way. I practiced this mushy proposal all the way over here. What? I said I wouldn’t use the ring as a bargaining chip. I didn’t say a word about using the skis that way. Look, I know she REALLY wants the skis…me, maybe not so much after the way I treated her. I’ve got to use the tools at my disposal. 

She looks down at her former…whatever. I’m not adding any adjectives to that man or it will make me sick. Then she looks back at me with her eyebrows raised. “You’re proposing…now?” 

“Yeah.” 

She purses her lips and narrows her eyes. “Seriously?” 

“Okay, the situation may lack….” 

“Privacy, romance, a sense of occasion?” She prods me. 

“What are you talking about? I just rescued you from this asshole; who was never nearly good enough to deserve you by the way-“ 

“How do you know? You barely met him.” She points out. 

“Please. I’m a professional political operative. I can sense these things.” 

“Really. And what did you sense from him in the 2 minutes you interacted with him?” 

“That he’s a drunk, disrespects women, and hasn’t paid his taxes on his offshore holdings.” I spout off to prove her wrong…which is about the time I realize I blew it. 

“You had Mike investigate him?!” Donna accuses. Well…shit. In for a penny, in for a pound. 

“Of COURSE I had Mike investigate him. I didn’t want this guy anywhere near you! He broke your heart and made you cry. He made you doubt yourself and your abilities. He ought to rot in hell, but at the very least I wanted to make sure he stayed the hell away from you. And if he was stupid enough to come near you…” I kick Freeride’s leg to emphasize my point. “I’d have ammunition to make him disappear before he could talk you into going back to him.” I look down, ready for her to take my head off for interfering in her personal life. When no such attack materializes, I look up cautiously and see her eyes swimming with tears. 

“That is the SWEETEST thing ANYBODY has ever done for me.” 

“You’re not…mad?” I ask warily. She seems sincere, but it could be a trap. She studied drama…for awhile. 

She shakes her head ‘no’ and takes me into her arms again. 

“And you’ll marry me?” I confirm. Might as well strike while the iron is hot. 

“Yes, even though you don’t even have a ring for me, you dolt.” 

“Oh, wait! I do! Remember? I told you jewelry was involved.” I pat my pockets until I find the ring box and open it for her inspection. 

“Josh…it’s beautiful…I don’t know what to say.” Donna is, almost, speechless. That’s pretty impressive. 

“Say…’yes’.” I suggest and she immediately complies. I slip the ring on her finger and kiss her once, twice…okay, three times, to seal the deal, but we just got engaged. Give me a break! 

“I get the ring and the skis?” She smirks at me. I taught her that. 

“Yes, but the skis have a little, tiny, itty, bitty, string attached to them.” I confess. 

“And what is that?” 

“I’ll tell you about it later. Go back to our place now, while I get rid of this guy.” I tell her. 

“YOU’RE going to get rid of him?” 

“Okay, Mike and I will get rid of him.” I admit. “Just go back home now, okay?” 

She nods and smiles. “Happy New Year, Joshua.” She kisses me once more before she grabs her purse and coat. She sends one more smoldering look my way before she leaves. Yeah, I’ll be following up on that look very, very soon. 

I snap open my cell. “Mike? It’s me…yeah, everything’s cool. She’s on her way back there…I’ll be along in a bit. I need to get rid of some garbage. Could you come over to Ainsley’s and help me with it for a minute?...I don’t care if Sherry is pretty drunk right now. If she’s that inebriated, she won’t be sobered up before you get back, now come on…Thanks. I’ll be waiting for you, the door is open.” I end the call and sit down to wait for Mike. When I see Freeride move a bit, I grab the lamp again. A guy should always be prepared. 

TBC


	18. Angels and Demons

“Oh shit.” Mike announces his arrival. “I just KNEW one day I was going to have to help you dump a body.” 

“He’s not dead, just unconscious.” I scoff. 

“You hit him in the head with that lamp?” He gestures to my weapon of choice in my hands and I nod. “Are you SURE he’s not dead? That’s blunt force trauma to the head.” 

“I’m sure. He’s stirred a few times.” 

“What the hell are we going to do with him?” Mike asks. 

“I don’t know.” I shrug. “He can’t stay here. I don’t know if he’s got a hotel room or a car outside. And I don’t want Donna and Ainsley to get in trouble if someone finds him dumped by the dumpster, which he deserves.” 

“We could drop him off at the police station.” Mike suggests. 

“Well, there is that tax issue.” I agree. 

“I could fuck with him for a few hours. That could be fun.” Mike says hopefully. 

“Yeah, but I don’t want to piss off Donna. She was really understanding about the whole clubbing the shit out of him with the lamp thing.” 

“Yeah. I guess you guys are okay then?” 

“Oh, we’re better than okay. We’re engaged.” 

“You’re getting married!?” 

“It appears that way.” 

“Only you go from possibly broken up to engaged.” He shakes his head in wonder at me. “I guess congratulations are in order.” 

“Thank you.” 

“She really is awesome.” 

“This I know.” 

“And hot as all hell.” 

“We didn’t need to go there.” 

“Right.” 

“Back to the body.” 

“I know! If he has his wallet on him, let’s check him into the most expensive hotel in town.” 

“The Presidential Suite at the Hay Adams.” I nod. 

“They’ve got to have a minimum stay policy.” Mike smiles. 

“It’ll be a fortune.” I grin back. 

“We’ll order him a bunch of room service and pour out the minibar.” Mike continues. 

“This is going to fun!” I agree. 

Mike leans down and grabs Freeride by the wrist to turn him around. In the process, Freeride’s head smacks against Ainsley’s entertainment center. “Well gee, that was unfortunate.” Mike quips. “I certainly hope THAT doesn’t happen again.” 

I roll my eyes, but then I remember what this guy did to Donna. “Let’s tie him up and put a dress on him.” 

“I have my camera in the car.” Mike supplies. 

“Outstanding.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you okay? What the hell happened? Mike left too.” Ainsley pounces on me as soon as I get back through the door. 

“Yes. Dan showed up and Josh hit him in the head with a lamp and then I got engaged.” I say. Everyone’s jaw drops. 

“You’re ENGAGED!?” Ainsley shrieks. 

“Josh hit someone in the head with a lamp?” CJ asks concerned. 

“I’m still on the Josh got in a fight thing.” Chris pipes in. 

“Okay, real quick.” I say. “Josh and I got in a fight. He came over to apologize, but my ex-boyfriend showed up and was giving me a hard time. He punched Josh, then Josh hit him with a lamp and then gave me skis and proposed.” 

“He didn’t give you a ring?” CJ asks. 

“Oh yeah, he did! Look at the size of it.” I stick my hand out, but Ainsley grabs it and whistles. 

“Damn.” CJ says obviously impressed. 

“That’s wonderful, Donna.” Chris smiles and hugs me. “Seriously, I’m really happy for you guys. You’re everything he needs.” 

“Congratulations.” Sam smiles and hugs me next. 

“You don’t think this is moving a bit fast?” Ainsley asks me skeptically. “Your parents are going to freak out. They haven’t even met him and you’ve only been together barely two months.” 

“I’m not talking about getting married next week. I’ve got to plan it and stuff.” I reply. “Besides, sometimes it’s just right, Ains. Sometimes you just know.” 

She still looks a little skeptical, but smiles and hugs me anyway. “Well, if you’re happy, that’s all that really matters.” 

“I am, Ains. I’m really happy.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don’t believe it. There’s more pounding on my door. I’ve barely started opening it when Mike and Josh push past me. 

“You’re DATING!?” Mike sounds like he’s accusing me of some kind of betrayal. 

“Scott get out here!” Josh calls back to the bedroom. 

“There’s no way this is happening twice in one night.” I groan rubbing my eyes. 

“You didn’t know?” Josh asks Mike. 

“No, he didn’t tell me.” Mike says. 

“This might be why!” I say gesturing to them. 

“What’s going on?” Scott looks a little freaked out when he sees my friends. 

“Scott Mike, Mike Scott; you remember Josh.” I quickly introduce. 

Mike shakes Scott’s hand, but eyes him up and down critically. This is insane. 

“So, I’m engaged.” Josh says proudly. 

“What the hell are you doing HERE then?” I demand. I am, of course, happy for him…or I will be when he isn’t busting in on me with an overnight guest… 

“Come back with us.” He invites. 

“Josh, I kinda…you know…” I lower my voice and gesture to Scott. 

“No, bring him.” He says. “Come on, let us get to know him. He should meet Donna, who, did you not hear, is my fiancé.” 

“I got that. Congratulations.” I smile. “But this is a little different.” 

“How?” Mike asks, then turns to Scott. “Scott, you want to go to a New Year’s party? Josh got engaged and people are getting very drunk.” 

“That sounds fun.” Scott looks over at me cautiously. 

“You can meet most of Matt’s friends…the important ones anyway.” Mike says extending the carrot. 

“Well, it might be good to get to know Josh a little better than I know him so far. He’s made a bit of a bizarre first impression.” 

“See!” Josh jumps in. “You have to let me redeem myself here.” 

“You’ve GOT to hear about what we did to Freedride.” Mike chuckles as I rise resignedly and move to the bedroom to get changed. Scott arches a brow at me and follows my lead. 

“Sorry.” I say softly to Scott while Mike goes on about lamps and dresses and mini bars. 

“I had to meet them sooner or later; they’re all you ever talk about.” He smiles. 

“Thanks for understanding.” 

“MATT!?” Josh bellows. “Did you not hear that?” I sigh and return fully dressed to the living room. “I clubbed the guy with a fucking lamp!” 

“Why?” I asked. 

“Look at my face!” he yelps. 

“Oh, I thought you were born with that.” I quip and Josh doesn’t look amused. 

“Are you SURE you’re spending time with this guy of your own free will?” Josh asks Scott hooking a thumb over at me. 

“I’m sure.” Scott smiles. 

“All right.” Josh sighs dramatically. “But don’t say we didn’t warn you.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Donna rolls on top of me delightfully naked and squirms around a bit. I bring my hands up to her face and kiss her. This was the most bizarre night for sure. 

“Feeling better?” she whispers, lightly kissing the lovely bruise on my face. 

“Yeah.” I nod. “It doesn’t really hurt anymore.” 

“I mean in general.” She replies. 

“Oh.” I pause. “Yeah, I feel fine.” 

“Good.” She smiles. 

“I’m really sorry --” 

She presses a finger to my lips and cuts me off. “You’ve already apologized; I’ve already accepted.” 

I roll her back over and she shimmies underneath me. I love rolling around with her naked in bed. 

“Maybe we should have warning words.” I suggest. 

“Maybe you should just count to 20 before you react.” She counters. 

“Don’t people usually just count to ten?” 

“I think you could use the extra time.” She says wryly and I smile. 

“Oh, about the strings attached to the skis…” 

“Why am I dreading this?” 

“How would you like to go away next weekend to learn to ski…in Connecticut?” I hedge. 

“To meet your mom?” she smiles. 

“Uh-huh.” 

“And see where you grew up?” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“I’d love to.” She smiles and kisses me again. “I’m really sorry about Dan.” 

“I thought we just covered the apologizing more than once thing.” 

“Yeah, but he actually punched you.” 

“S’okay. I got punched for a worthy cause.” 

“What do you think of Matt’s boyfriend?” she changes the subject and I roll off her and pull her close. 

“He seemed okay, I guess.” I shrug. “It’s hard to think of guys in that context when you…well… don’t think of them in that context.” 

“He seemed happy.” 

“Yeah.” 

“You’re okay with him being gay, aren’t you?” 

“I’m more okay with him being gay than I am with him being a Republican.” 

“Josh!” 

“I don’t really think about it.” I confess. “It’s just who he is.” And it’s true. The only time I actually think about it is when he dates. I’ve gotten pretty good at removing the guy part and looking at his boyfriend or whatever as his partner. That took a while, but I’ve finally learned to be just as critical about the people he dates as I would be for Mike or Chris, if they’re actually serious about someone, which is, you know, hardly ever. 

“Well, I like Scott.” She announces. “And I’m definitely bringing him my taxes this year.” 

“Of course.” I chuckle. 

“I do. He’s very nice, and he was very nervous about meeting you.” 

“Me? Why?” 

“Well, it’s always more nerve wracking meeting the best friend. I’ll meet parents any day over the best friend. They’re who’s approval you really need.” 

“I’m not that high maintenance.” 

“All evidence tonight to the contrary.” She mutters. 

I ignore her and continue. “If Matt likes him, it’s good enough for me.” 

“He does.” She says, pressing herself against me. “And I like you.” 

“I love you, Donna.” I say quietly. “I about imploded tonight when I thought I might have lost you. I hate when I say something hurtful.” 

“I know you do.” 

“I feel no better than Freeride, and you deserve so much better.” 

“I’m getting so much better.” She says. “You’re miles better than he is. First of all, you respect me, and that’s leaps and bounds better.” 

“I do know what I got.” I nod. And I do. I have the most amazing woman on the planet. Not only does she handle me like a seasoned pro, but she loves me. This is probably why it’s so hard when we fight. She actually cares about me. That wasn’t the case with Mandy. She liked me and all, but I don’t think she cared all that much. 

Freeride is an idiot, and I’ll be damned if I ever let her get away. 

TBC


	19. Angels and Demons

“I have to take this, I’ll be right back.” My son tells his fiancé before leaving us with his cell phone firmly attached to his ear, but not before he plants a kiss on her mouth. Donna blushes prettily. I was prepared to love whomever my son chose to spend his life with, but I’m delighted to discover that I like Donna Moss very much. 

“Here it is.” I pull the photo album I’d been searching for from the box we’ve been digging through and hand it to Donna. 

“Oh, how cute.” She laughs at a picture of Josh and Joanie hamming it up at the beach. 

“That was at our summer place.” I tell her. “We don’t have that anymore.” 

Donna’s eyes widen. I think the…atmosphere of Westport has bowled her over a bit. It must seem more than a little snobby to someone who, by her own account, grew up modestly in the Midwest. 

Donna points to another picture. “Was this your winter place?” she teases. I told you I like this woman. 

“No, that was our first home. It was destroyed in the fire.” Her face falls immediately. 

“Oh, God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“ She attempts to shut the album. 

“It’s okay, Donna. I love looking at these pictures. It brings back wonderful memories for me and Josh won’t often indulge me in perusing them.” 

“He feels guilty that he survived and Joanie didn’t, I think.” She offers quietly. She’s very perceptive. “But he keeps a picture of the two of them front and center on his shelf at his apartment where he can see it every day.” 

“I know. He adored his sister.” I add. “And Joanie adored him too.” This is getting too maudlin for this happy occasion. “She would have loved you.” 

“Thank you, Sarah.” She has tears in her eyes and tries to cover her tender heart by turning the page of the photo album. “What is this?” 

“Oh, that…at one time, your fiancé had aspirations to be a dancer.” I explain and chuckle myself. 

“You’re kidding me.” Donna is now belly laughing. 

“I am not. He loved saying ballerina.” I recall which precedes another round of laughing. 

“If I promise to take very good care of it, do you think I could take this with me to make a copy?” She asks, her eyes full of mischief. 

“I think that would be fine. In fact, we could stop at the photo place on our way to the airport to pick up your parents tomorrow.” I agree. 

“Perfect.” She grins. “It was very generous of you to invite them to stay here with us.” 

“Nonsense. I spend entirely too much time here alone as it is. And soon, we’ll all be family anyway. I’m delighted they said yes.” 

“Just keep in mind that they rarely travel outside of Wisconsin. I mean, they’ve been to North Carolina to visit my cousin’s family there, but other than that…” 

“Well, we’ll have to show them the sights here then won’t we? I thought we could all go see a play over the weekend.” I suggest. 

“They’d love that, and so would I.” Donna looks back down at the photos. “Josh seems to take after your husband a great deal.” 

“He does; both in looks and in temperament, God help you.” I chuckle. “I’m sure you’ll be receiving your share of marital advice in the coming months, but given that it’s my son you’re marrying, I feel I have a unique perspective on what your life will be like. So I do have one piece of advice I’d like to impart.” 

“What is that?” 

“Contrary to what his verbal SAT scores might indicate, Joshua doesn’t always know the words to use when he’s dealing with a personal situation.” I let out a breath. That may be a bit of an understatement. “My advice, therefore, is to ignore everything he says and only pay attention to what he does.” I can see her chewing that over when the man in question returns. 

“…yes, sir. I’ll mention that to her….I don’t know, sir, I haven’t met them yet, but I’ll ask…I’ll take care of it, Mr. President….your welcome, sir, goodnight.” Josh hangs up the phone. “The President wants to know if your parents are Democrats or Republicans.” 

Donna blinks. “Why?” 

“Because he wants us to consider having the wedding at the Bartlet farm but he thought if they were Republicans they might not like that idea much.” Josh plops down on the couch next to Donna. 

“At the Bartlet farm?” Donna repeats. This poor girl is only now starting to understand the world she’s marrying into. “Well, my dad isn’t a big fan of the President, but-" 

“He’s not?” Josh looks at her like he’s sure there must be some mistake. How could any reasonable human not be a fan of the President? 

“It’s just that…” 

“He’s not one of those people.” Josh insists. Like his statement can change Donna’s father’s party affiliation. 

“Well you didn’t think Ainsley was the ONLY Republican in the family, did you?” Donna retorts. 

“How could you not tell me that? God, no wonder you’re so comfortable in Matt’s office.” 

“Joshua.” I admonish him. He gets so carried away sometimes. He lets out a long suffering sigh. 

“I’ll be nice.” He promises. “Your mom is normal though, right?” 

“If by normal, you mean Democrat, then yes. But she hasn’t been politically active at all.” Donna admits. 

“Does ‘not active’ mean she doesn’t campaign for candidates or-" Josh begins. 

“I think the last time she voted was when she took me to vote for the first time.” Donna explains and Josh rolls his eyes again. 

“This is really too much. You didn’t even warn me about this.” Josh complains as he gets up and walks into the kitchen; keeping up his tirade the entire time. “Ainsley’s okay, but it took time to get used to her and she’s a rare type of Republican; reasonable. Your dad is already going to hate my guts for taking his baby away from him and you pick now, less than 24 hours until they arrive, to drop this bombshell on me?” He returns with a fresh ice pack and places it tenderly on Donna’s ankle; a little souvenir of their skiing excursion. 

Donna turns a look on me. “None of what he says, and only what he does, right?” 

“Right.” I concur. This woman is perfect for my son. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Mrs. Moss, Mr. Moss, it’s so nice to meet you both. How was your flight?” I ask. I’ve met Kings and Heads of State from around the world. Why is meeting my future in-laws causing my palms to sweat? 

“It was just fine. It was very generous of you to send us the tickets.” Lorraine Moss replies. She has Donna’s smile…or rather Donna has Lorraine’s smile. Anyway, the smile calms my nerves. 

“I was just happy you both could come on such short notice.” I continue. 

“It wouldn’t have been an issue if you’ve brought Donna home over the Holidays.” Thomas Moss notes. 

“That was entirely my fault, sir.” Yeah, this guy hates my guts. “I had some complications from…my injury last summer. Your daughter selflessly stayed in D.C. to help me through it. You’ve raised a wonderful woman, sir.” I can kiss up with the best of them; I’m a politician. 

“She’s had a few bumps in the road lately.” Mr. Moss points out. 

“Not that I can see, sir. Congressman Skinner tells me he wouldn’t know what to do without her and the President told me just the other day that I was very lucky to have found such a bright, articulate, beautiful woman who’d put up with me.” 

“The President said that?” Lorraine Moss repeats. “He really knows our Donna?” 

“Mom, I TOLD you I knew the President.” Donna objects. 

“Yes, I know, I just thought you meant you’d been introduced, I didn’t imagine that you’ve had real conversations with the man. Can you believe that, Tom?” 

“Hmph….” Tom responds. 

“That’s incredible. What is he like? Is he the same in person as he is on TV? He always seems so smart and steady on TV.” Lorraine adds. Wait ‘til I tell Toby that quote. 

“He is definitely both of those things, Mrs. Moss, but you’ll get a chance to find out for yourself. The President has offered his farm in New Hampshire for the wedding. Naturally, I told him we’d have to discuss that with Donna’s family but-" 

“A wedding at the President’s farm?” Poor Mrs. Moss looks like she may be having vapors. 

“See, he’d like to be invited to the wedding, and this way the venue would already have Secret Service approval and-" 

“A wedding at the President’s farm?” She repeats again. 

“Get a hold of yourself, woman. He’s just a man.” Thomas reminds her. 

“He’s the PRESIDENT!” Lorraine disputes this contention. I see that her smile isn’t the only thing Donna got from her mother. “It’s a great honor for him to even offer.” 

“The bride’s family arranges the wedding. Our family and friends are expecting the wedding to be in Wisconsin.” Mr. Moss puffs up. I’m not about to get into a pissing match with this guy. 

“And that’s entirely up to you, of course. The President just asked me to pass along his sincere invitation. He’s been very impressed with your daughter…and her ability to put up with me.” I smile in what I hope is a self-deprecating manner and look over at Donna who has been uncharacteristically quiet. 

“I think I see your luggage.” She tells them and scurries off. Hell no, she is NOT leaving me alone with her parents. I catch up with her in a few seconds with a mumbled ‘excuse me’ to her parents. I’m shoulder to shoulder with her at the luggage carousel. 

“Donna, what’s going on?” I ask her. 

“I TOLD them that I’d spoken to the President; several times. I told them we had dinner with him and the First Lady. Did they think I was lying to them?” She whispers harshly. 

“I…don’t know…?” How does a guy respond to this? 

“They’re always…I don’t know…they just have NEVER believed in me. Not the way your mom believes in you. They thought I was SO LUCKY to have landed Dan; a MED student.” 

“Well, that’s just stupid.” I mutter and Donna turns to look at me. “What? It is! The guy is a pig. You deserve way better than that…you deserve way better than me.” I tell her honestly. 

“How is it that you see that in me when my own parents don’t?” She asks with tears in her eyes. 

“They do. Of course they do. How could they not? Sometimes it’s just hard for family to show it.” I try to soothe her. 

“They were embarrassed when I dropped out of school, and even more embarrassed when I left the guy I dropped out of school for. I know my parents love me, I just always felt that they loved me in spite of who I am instead of because of who I am.” She wipes a tear away. 

“Hmmm…” I think that over. I never had to wonder about my parents love or their pride. Even after the fire, when I felt that they’d never be able to look at me let alone love me again, they showed me nothing but compassion and love. “Then just wait until the President starts bending their ears about you.” I shrug and hug her close to me; I can feel her chuckle. 

“That’s their luggage.” She points out two huge, ugly green bags to me. I do my duty and haul the stuff off the carousel. This stuff doesn’t even have wheels. 

“Ah-kay. Let’s go.” I heft the bags and follow the love of my life back to her parents for the ride to my mother’s house. This could be a long weekend. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

This has snowballed completely out of control. It was supposed to be a couple days skiing in Connecticut coupled with meeting Josh’s mom. That’s all good, right? Then before I knew it, Josh was taking an entire 10 days off (at Leo’s insistence, I’m guessing) and he was on the phone inviting my parents to come for a visit so all of us could get to know each other a bit. 

Maybe that part wasn’t exactly his fault. He’d called with the intention of asking for my parents’ blessing on our engagement. He used the word ‘permission’ once, but he didn’t make that mistake again. Anyway, I was too nervous to listen to the call so I left the room. When I couldn’t stand being out of the loop any longer, I came back in the room to hear Josh invite them to Connecticut. I couldn’t believe it, but I thought surely they’d refuse the invitation. You could have knocked me over with a feather when they accepted. This had disaster written all over it. 

All this is by way of saying that we’re sitting around the Lyman family dinner table and the conversation is awkward despite Sarah’s best efforts in making everyone welcome. I think my parents were every bit as overwhelmed by the opulence of Westport in general, and the Lyman home in particular, as I was. Only I’ve had a few days now to adjust. 

“Your home is just gorgeous, Sarah.” My mom attempts to break the silence. “I don’t know that I could keep up a house this size all by myself.” 

“There’s not much to keep up since it’s just me. It needs some grandchildren to mess it up.” Sarah replies sending me a hopeful glance. The woman is shameless. 

“Did you grow up in this house then, Josh?” Mom asks him. 

“Mostly.” Josh gives her a tight smile but doesn’t comment further. I haven’t spoken to my parents about the fire or Joanie’s death, so I’m anxious to change the subject until I can give them a heads up. 

“Josh gave me a five minute tour of the city.” My teasing eyes met Josh’s. 

“Five minute tour?” Mom repeats. 

“The whole city is only 33 square miles.” I inform her. “They only have 26,000 itty bitty little citizens.” I add and see Josh’s cheek twitch. 

“And each one of them earns 10 times what someone in Madison earns.” Dad mutters. 

“Tom.” Mom kicks him under the table. 

“That’s okay. The 220,000 Madison residents can band together and take on the east coast elite.” I gloss over it. If I’m marrying into this rich and influential families, I might as well have a little fun with it. “Do you think there’s enough room on the President’s farm for all of my family’s tents?” 

Mom, Sarah, and Josh all burst out laughing, but Dad is not amused. He hasn’t been amused since I left Madison, truth be told. 

“We can always have him order in some FEMA trailers.” I add. Hey, I’m on a roll. 

“You’ve already decided on having the wedding there, then?” Dad asks and all laughter stops. 

“No, Daddy, I was just making a joke.” I sober instantly. “That’s a decision I’d like to make as a family.” 

“Like your decision to pack up and move to D.C.?” he shoots back and I’m stunned by the speed at which I’m catapulted back in time to when I was 15 and out past curfew. 

“Josh, will you help me take the dishes into the kitchen?” Sarah asks in an obvious ploy to give me and my parents some privacy. Josh waits for my nod, and then begins the clearing up. 

“I can help too, Sarah.” Mom insists and picks up some dishes as well. Once they’ve left us alone, I can’t even lift my eyes to my fathers. What can I say to him now? 

“I had to leave Madison, Daddy. There was nothing left for me there.” 

“Your mother and I were there. Your brothers and their families are nearby.” He counters. 

“So I was supposed to what? Come back to my parents house with my tail between my legs and let your and mom take care of poor, pathetic Donna?” 

“Don’t talk like that. Don’t ever let me hear you speak that way about yourself again.” Dad blows and I blink in surprise. 

“I thought…I thought that was how you saw me.” I explain. 

“It burns me up that that’s how you see yourself!” He contradicts me. “I couldn’t believe a bright, talented young woman like you would give up your hopes and dreams for that egotistical jackass. Then when you finally wise up to his two-timing ways you run away to D.C.!” 

“I was embarrassed!” I explain. “I wanted to get far away from anyone who knew how stupid I’d been and try to make a fresh start for myself. I thought if I could make a success of myself here maybe you’d be proud of me again.” I swipe at the tears running all over my face. 

“You…” Dad pauses and I see tears in his eyes too. “I’ve always been proud of you, Donnatella. You’re my angel.” He can’t speak for a minute and we both pretend we don’t notice he’s choked up. “I’ve been worried about you is all. You’re so far away from me. I can’t see that you’re alright or drop by with some food from your mom and check out your place for…safety and such. That’s a father’s job; to protect and look out for his daughter.” 

“You’ve always done that job very well.” I tell him. “But I’m an adult now.” 

“Damn. You think that matters? You think once a child turns 18 then a parent just brushes their hands off and declares the job’s done? Hmph! Just wait ‘til you and that Democrat of yours have children. Then you’ll see how it is.” 

I laugh through my tears at his term for Josh. Little does he know that Josh has spent the last 24 hours complaining about the sullying of his boyhood home by the Republican from Wisconsin. They may be more alike than either of them would be comfortable with. 

“His name is Joshua Lyman, Daddy.” I correct him gently. 

“I know what his name is. He told it to me plain enough when he called to ask my permission to marry you.” Dad complains further so I decide not to correct him on the permission/blessing thing. If I’ve learned one thing in Government it’s that sometimes you have to lose the battle to win the war. He can win this battle. 

“That was his idea, not mine.” 

“No doubt.” Dad drawls. “At least your man has sense enough to understand how these things work between men.” 

“He is very smart.” I agree. 

“Fullbright scholar.” Dad notes and I look up at him in surprise. “I know how to google.” 

“You. Do. Not.” I shake my head sadly. 

“Well, your brother does and he showed me.” Dad defends himself. 

“You Googled Josh?” I confirm. 

“It’s my job as a father to check him out. Have you not heard a word I’ve been telling you?” 

“Yes. I heard every word.” I affirm. “But you could have just asked me.” 

“You haven’t known him all that long either.” Dad points out. 

“Not that LONG, no, but I know him SO well, Daddy. He’s a good man and I’m completely in love with him.” Then for good measure, I decide to tease him a bit. “He’s even willing to overlook your pathetic party affiliation.” 

“My-my- “ Dad stutters, then notes my expression. “You’ll pay for that, young lady.” 

“No doubt.” Now it’s my turn to drawl. 

“This wedding at the President’s farm. Is that something you want?” He asks. 

“Only if you and Mom are okay with it.” I insist. “I think it would mean a lot to Josh. He really respects and admires the President and feels that it’s a great honor that he offered it to us.” 

Dad shakes his head. “My baby girl getting married at the President’s farm? Unbelieveable.” 

“Only if you’re there to walk me down the aisle.” I add. 

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” He whispers and I start to tear up. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“I’m going back in there.” I announce. 

“You are not.” Mom shoots right back. 

“If he’s got a problem with us getting married, then I should be in there too.” 

“He doesn’t.” Lorraine Moss. “Truly, Josh, he doesn’t. He just needs to work out a few issues with his daughter. They’ll be fine. You just aren’t used to the daughter in the family dynamic being an only child.” 

Mom and I share a ‘how do we respond to that’ look. 

“Actually, Lorraine, we did have a daughter in our family. Her name was Joanie. But she died very young in a house fire.” Mom explains. I keep my gaze fixed on the dishes I’m drying. I don’t want to see the pity in Lorraine’s eyes. 

“Sarah, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” 

“Of course you didn’t. How could you?” Mom soothes her houseguest and I send another anxious glance at the door. “Joshua, relax, she’s in the other room with her father not a Republican Special Prosecutor.” 

“Her father’s Republican.” I point out and both women laugh at me. “That’s it. I’m going in.” 

I storm out before they can stop me and see Donna crying in her father’s arms. “I was just..is everything…Are you okay, Donnatella?” 

Donna smiles and my whole body relaxes. She holds her hand out to me and I’m quick to take it in mine, while keeping a cautious eye on her father. “I’m wonderful. The two men I love most in the world both think I’m smart and beautiful. Life doesn’t get any better than that.” 

“Ah-kay.” I reply carefully. She’s crying again and Mr. Moss’s eyes look a little misty too. 

“Dad assures me we’ll understand better when we have children of our own. But in the meantime, we need to narrow down a few date options to speak to the President about.” 

I look from Donna to her father and back again. “It’s okay? To have the wedding at the President’s farm?” 

Thomas Moss shrugs. “I figure with the security checks, we may be able to avoid inviting some of your mother’s relatives.” Donna promptly hits him upside across his shoulder. “What? You were thinking it too!” He insists. “Better get the women in here so we can start planning a wedding.” Mr. Moss reaches a hand out to me and I shake it firmly. Dads look for that kind of thing you know. Donna runs into the kitchen to get our mothers. “You’d better take damn good care of my angel.” He warns me. 

“I will, sir, I promise you. She’s my angel too.” I explain and for the first time, I think Thomas Moss and I may understand each other. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“We’re going to be late tonight. I TOLD you that this morning.” She tells me. 

“This morning?” I repeat thinking back over my day. There was incredible lovemaking right before work. Is that when she told me? Does she honestly think any of my brain cells are functioning during something like that? “I don’t remember that. Why are you going to be- Oh, man, is he doing Capitol Beat AGAIN?” 

“Josh…” 

“For that lame ass bill on re-districting?” I guess. 

“I’m not sure what you’re referring to as a lame ass bill, Joshua, but-" 

“Fine. Let him do the show. He doesn’t need you to stay there for that.” I argue. 

“Yes, he really does. We’re doing a final prep on the way over.” She counters. 

“Donna…” I whine. In the 2 months since I first saw Stanley, I’ve been doing much better at balancing my professional and personal life. Tonight, I’d carved out some time for a personal life. Unfortunately, I forgot to tell Donna that tonight was the night I’ve carved out personal time for us. Damn. 

“I won’t be that late. And to make up the late nights this week, I don’t have to go in until after lunch tomorrow. So I COULD come over to have lunch with you. ” She negotiates with me. Donna is becoming an excellent negotiator. Just wait until you hear where we’re going for our honeymoon. 

“Lunch isn’t that great a deal.” I complain for forms sake. “There are things one can do at night, in the privacy of one’s own home, that one can NOT participate in over lunch at the White House.” I point out. 

“Says who?” She does this sultry voice and I can feel the blood draining already. 

“Don’t bring the voice when you aren’t going to be around to fulfill the promise of the voice for hours.” I warn her. 

“Matt’s doing really well with all this.” She changes the subject. 

“Too well, some days.” I note. 

“You can handle it. I like watching my guys spar. It’s like the clash of the Titans.” She teases. 

So far, we’re all handling Matt’s increased face time pretty well. He’s establishing himself as a leader in the Congress without selling his soul to the devil. I don’t like it very much and I’m not sure where this is going to end up dropping all of us, but for now…I’m dealing. Plus sometimes when I whine about it… Donna ‘makes it up’ to me. Insert evil grin here. I’m da man. 

“Well…yeah. We’re good like that.” I admit. “I’ll stay here then and get a little work done too. You’ll call me when you’re done?” 

“I will; love you!” She tells me before she hangs up. That my friends, I will never grow tired of hearing. 

THE END - Epilogue to follow in Chapter 20


	20. Angels and Demons

~Epilogue~

“Happy anniversary, Mrs. Lyman.” 

“Mmm…” she smiles lazily as my hand slides across her stomach. Her hand curls up into my hair and she stretches like a cat. 

Donna’s hot in the morning. 

“Happy anniversary.” She opens her eyes and turns her body to mine, stroking my cheek with my thumb. We’ve only been married a year now and I find her just as attractive as the day I first laid eyes on her in the White House mess. 

“Awfully convenient that our anniversary falls on a Saturday this year.” I smile. “Whatever shall we do with our entire day off?” 

“I can think of a few things.” She links her hand with mine and then twists it up to lay it gently on her breast. I don’t have to be an expert at reading signals to figure out what THAT means!

“All day?” I squeak.

“All day.” She says huskily. 

“I could get behind that.”

“I figured you could.” She chuckles, but her face falls a bit. “Maybe this time it’ll actually work.” 

“Donna, just because you haven’t gotten pregnant yet doesn’t mean you won’t ever.” I say gently. This has been a source of sadness for Donna. But we haven’t actually been trying all that long yet, at least not in my book. 

“Eight months, Josh.” She says. “I went off the pill eight months ago.”

“And your doctor said it might take your body a while to come around.”

“Eight months?”

“Your doctor doesn’t seem worried.”

“I know.” She sighs and drops her eyes. 

I hook my finger under her chin and tilt her head back up to look at me. “It’ll happen I promise. I know you’re frustrated, but the doctor said not to worry yet. And believe you me, I will try as many times as it takes.” 

She rolls her eyes and smacks my arm, but kisses me nonetheless. Crisis averted…for now…

When she breaks away, I’m pretty ready to start our day in bed, but she seems to have a few more things to talk about. 

“What were you and Matt talking about for so long last night?” she asks.

“Him running for President as an independent.” I reply. 

“I didn’t realize you two were still thinking about that. I thought he’d kinda dropped it.”

“Why would you think that?”

“No one’s talked about it.” She shrugs.

“Because it’s a few years off.” I reply. “But it’s still the plan.”

“You’d really run the campaign of an independent?”

“I’d run Matt’s, yes.” I reply. 

“What about the things you disagree on?”

“I’m sure they’re not going anywhere.” 

“What happens if he wins?”

“Well, Donna,” I smirk. “The guy that runs the country is called the President, and he lives in a BIG White House…ow!”

I break off abruptly when she pinches me hard. “To you, you jackass!”

“I don’t know.” I shrug. “That’s a long way off.”

“Doesn’t the campaign manager usually move into the role of Chief of Staff.”

“Not always.” I shrug non-committedly. We didn’t really get that far in the conversation because it’s just assumed, but I think there’s a lot of factors going into that decision.

“You won’t accept anything like that without talking to me first, right?” she asks a little nervously. See?

“No, of course not.” I assure. “Plus, if you’re still working for Matt then, you’d be campaigning and brought to the White House, too.” 

“Well, hopefully there will be a few kids around then and things might be a little different.” She says. 

My heart really does break for her when she talks about having kids. Her eyes light up and I know she wants it more than anything in the world and I want to give her that but, I don’t know, something doesn’t seem to be working at the moment. But it’s not from lack of trying…trust me. 

“When that day comes, Donna, you’re going to be a great mom.”

“Thanks.” She smiles softly. “And you’ll be the best dad. I can’t wait.”

I smile at her, but I’m not so sure. I mean, I loved my dad and he was a great role model, but I don’t know what kind of time I can devote to a family. I’m all for having kids with Donna, but without knowing how it’ll all shake out, it’s pretty terrifying. 

Her lips meet mine and she hooks her leg over my hip. The morning festivities are just gearing up so I’m going to save all that heavy duty stuff for another day and enjoy the time I have with my wife now…all day.

THE END


End file.
